Cranium Creek

Sue the Problem Away

2012-02-11T07:55:00.000-08:00

The battle of Whiteclay takes another turn.

The suit, filed by the Oglala Sioux tribe, alleges the defendants are "engaged in a common enterprise focused on assisting and participating in the illegal importation of alcohol" onto the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, where the sale, possession and consumption of alcohol is illegal.

They're going after the big boys, which is necessary when asking for $500 million.

The defendants include Anheuser-Busch InBev Worldwide Inc, SAB Miller, Molson Coors Brewing Company and Pabst Brewing Company, as well as four retailers in Whiteclay, Nebraska and the distributors who sell to them.

The lawsuit, filed on Thursday in federal court in Lincoln, Nebraska, claims the defendants have knowingly turned Whiteclay into a major source of alcohol smuggling onto the reservation, selling volumes of beer "far in excess of an amount that could be sold in compliance with the laws of the state of Nebraska."

Actually the reservation border is completely open, with only signs on the major roads telling you you have entered, which makes the use of the term "smuggling" a bit of an exaggeration. (This doesn't make that border less real,though; the legal complexities of tribal/county/state/federal jurisprudence would make a European Union attorney cry.)

I won't pretend to know if this has any legal validity, but I do think it marks a bit of a change in tribal thinking. It's a civil suit, seeking monetary compensation, not an actual end to the practice. To me that indicates that the tribal government has effectively given up on prohibition and just wants help in dealing with the effects. Of course, legalizing and taxing alcohol sales would also accomplish this, but apparently they can't bring themselves to admit that the problem is internal and should be handled internally.

Whiteclay has been a bone of contention for years, and has been held to be legal. I do think it is unseemly, like putting a doughnut shop in the lobby of a weight-loss clinic. I would guess this lawsuit is also designed to shine a bigger light (Reuters is an international news organization) on the situation and try to shame the beer companies a little, or cause to them to decide it's not worth the trouble to do business there and agree to shut down in exchange for dropping the lawsuit.

If that were to happen, however, the tribal members would just have to drive farther to get the alcohol, likely resulting in more accidents. This problem is far beyond something that can be handled legally. Even $500 million probably wouldn't be enough for what would be required to deal with addiction at that level.

Vote for Not-Him

2012-01-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

Finally starting a new blog year, as usual mostly with carryover from last year. The Denver Broncos continued their unlikely run, while the Atlanta Falcons put on a performance that I'm sure had the owner telling himself to avoid rash decisions. The weather continues to be well above average, and even if it goes bad we've reached the point where it's easier to see the end of winter.

I've been trying to follow the election process but it has been more difficult than 2008, and I've been trying to decide why. (It's not just the silliness of Iowa, where dedicated citizens select delegates who will select delegates who will select delegates who will select delegates - none of them bound by selection results - who will vote for the Republican nominee.) I think it's because 2008 had real significance, with a woman and a black man poised to make history and an economy just starting to get hit hard.

Now we're still muddling through that economic shock and the contested presidential race is among variations on an upper-class white man, with the leading contender more like the President than he dares admit in terms of policy and even less mainstream in terms of religion.

What has struck me a bit is how the candidates have been defined in terms of someone else. The main theme so far has been which candidate is the current Not-Romney, while Romney seems to be running as Not-Obama. None of the Republicans seems able to command the stage on his own merit.

Whoever does get the nomination needs to provide some reason for people to believe he'll be an improvement. Otherwise it comes down to someone who has been doing the job - and can point to some successes - and someone who hasn't. The worst part is, it's just getting started.

Dale and Tim

2011-12-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

I must first note with some concern the absence of Dale Smith from his blog Faith in Honest Doubt for over a month. Hopefully he has simply had better things to do and not suffered some misfortune.

A co-worker recently asked me why people have such a strong dislike for Tim Tebow. I personally don't understand it myself, but from what I've gathered, a few thoughts came up.

From a football angle, I can imagine some Denver fans (and coaches) thinking that the team is only going to go so far with him at QB (or modern single-wing tailback, as I prefer to think of him), and continuing to start him will delay the offensive improvement necessary for the team to compete at a higher level.

I agree with that line of reasoning to some degree, but (1) they're winning right now, even if it has been by the skin of their teeth against mostly bad teams, (2) Tebow is young, with room to improve and (3) it's not like he's holding up the development of a QB with greater NFL potential. I agree with the general analysis that they're not good enough to beat the likes of the Packers, Patriots or any team with a top offense. But as long as the defense holds up well enough to make Tebow's late-game heroics possible, they may as well enjoy the ride.

But from what I see, most of the criticism is personal, with his overt Christian faith a prime target, followed by the feeling that he's either too good to be true as a person or a phony with well-closeted skeletons. I also noticed a certain irritation with the zealousness of his fans, which has been true of many fans of celebrities and isn't Tebow's fault.

The faith does seem a bit overdone, but as long as it doesn't affect team chemistry it's really no one else's concern. As commenter billsfan1104 put it at The Stir...

He does not go around forcing anyone to believe what he believes. Many reporters ask about his religion and he answers them faithfully and without being ashamed. what is wrong with that??

As to whether he's a phony, I fall back on innocent until proven guilty, which makes me think some of the feeling is the classic jealousy of someone who seems to have it all, and who manages to succeed at a job for which he lacks what are considered by most experts to be the necessary skills. Again from The Stir, this time from commenter kelticmom...

So let me get this straight, the guy is nice, talented, humble, faithful to his beliefs, not ashamed to identify as a Christian, has good sportsmanship, morals....and people hate him for this???

I hope he realizes that it's possible to have the right enemies.

Premature Syndication and Insufficient Occupation

2011-11-09T08:49:00.000-08:00

It's nice to see The Big Bang Theory in syndication, but I'm not entirely thrilled with the trend of putting shows out so soon. The program only has four seasons in the can, which I believe is 88 episodes. At the rate it's being shown - six nights a week on a local station here - they will cycle through the whole series in less than four months. Add to that TBS running it in big blocks on Tuesday and whenever else they can plug it in, and I worry about burning it out. On the other hand, at least it's still worth watching. The TV Guide Channel has dredged up some stuff (Ned and Stacey, Veronica's Closet, Cybill) best classified as cheap filler.

A co-worker asked me what the Occupy Wall Street people and their off-shoots are trying to accomplish. As I see it, they are demonstrating in the literal sense; they are trying to demonstrate to the moneychangers that actual people suffer from the consequences of their actions. Unfortunately I don't think they're really making much impact on their intended targets. I think of the scene in Dr. Zhivago where the protesters are marching in the snow while the upper classes sit inside at a fancy party and make fun of them (so far no cossacks, though, which is good). I suspect the only way they could get to the moneychangers would be to amp it up and put real fear into them, which would run the risk of losing popular support.

Taking a Compliment

2011-10-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

Part of life is discovering things about yourself. Indeed, that is practically the definition of growing up; you find out what genetic hand you were dealt and what you like and dislike. But even well into middle age, it’s still possible to have something pop up and challenge your self-image.

What brought this to mind? Recently I have been informed that -at least to some women -I am considered good-looking. Not swoon-inducing, mind you; I haven’t been asked to sign undergarments for women who couldn’t believe their luck at meeting Brad Pitt in South Dakota, nor have I been getting hit on at stop lights as used to happen to a buddy in college. But reliable sources have told me that I am reasonably attractive to certain members of the opposite sex.

I know, Boo Hoo, what a traumatic revelation, have I sought help in dealing with it? More to the point, why is this notion such a surprise? After all, three women chose to marry me, and no indications were ever given that it was despite my looks (it certainly wasn’t for money), nor was unattractiveness ever mentioned during the bad times leading to two divorces. At no time in my life have I ever had reason to think that my physical appearance was a major factor in my life.

Perhaps that last sentence explains it. I have never given much thought to my looks, and when I have considered it, I’ve been ambivalent. I was the skinny nerd of my class growing up, with the stereotypical shyness, clumsiness and fashion sense. I never thought that I was going to attract girls physically, so I didn’t put any effort into it, which made it self-fulfilling. Eventually I learned to use humor and intellect, to which I’ve always given credit for my small romantic successes. I gradually improved my style somewhat and overcame the shyness, but I never gave my natural physical attributes real consideration. When my wife told me that her daughter said I look “a little nerdy”, that was right in my comfort zone. Conversely, when I’ve gotten compliments about my appearance I’ve usually shrugged them off.

Thirty-plus years later, I still think of myself as that bony kid. I guess it’s time to consider the possibility that I’ve aged well and learn to enjoy a pleasant surprise when I get one. Oh, and to keep a marker handy in case I have to autograph a bra.

Without Charlie

2011-10-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

I guess my personal verdict is in on the new Two and a Half Men: I didn’t feel like watching it last Monday.

I had decided to try approaching the show like a spin-off, since I thought eliminating Charlie Sheen was going to require too much plot demolition to retain continuity as it existed. I felt this could be a chance to retool a show that had begun to get tired and weird. I also realized it would be a long shot. I’m not sure what the producers and writers were thinking. I get the impression so far that they aren’t sure either.

To their credit, they handled the awkward part – getting rid of Sheen – fairly well. The funeral had a mix of comedy and sadness and an overall feel consistent with the series. Ashton Kutcher’s introduction also had a jarring suddenness that fit in with this show’s lack of subtlety. But since then, the show seems to reflect a conflict between the desire of the producers to prove it could continue as it was without Sheen and the writers’ inability to let him go.

They dropped Kutcher into a plot contrived to try to keep the remaining characters more or less as they were despite the radical change. Sheen’s old girlfriends are turning up to hit on Kutcher and Judy Greer - who once played Myra, Judith’s new sister-in-law and one of Sheen’s more entertaining flings – is now cast as Kutcher’s estranged wife. (I must say that this is also consistent with the show’s past. Jennifer Taylor, who played Chelsea, Sheen’s last big love interest, had appeared on the show three times before as different characters, and April Bowlby had been on as someone else before she played Kandi.) The result feels like they’re trying to go back and forth between two shows with the same actors.

Kutcher’s performance suggests he realizes that he was hired strictly as a gimmick to keep the show going. Hopefully the creative team will put more enthusiasm into his character, which might give this a chance to succeed, although the ratings trend isn’t encouraging. I’ll probably tune in again to see how they’re doing. But they have to finish mourning Sheen and move on.

Surgery Prep

2011-09-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

It's not often that I see two of my regularly-read bloggers agree so completely about something non-political. First, Dale at Faith in Honest Doubt.

So, to summarize: Netflix is joining the poor quality of its video streaming offerings to a less useful web site experience and more complex billing.

Now, James Lileks.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cool, nifty, successful company screw the pooch with such vigor before.

Here I must confess to missing out on yet another hot idea: I have never used Netflix, so I can't offer any firsthand commentary on this. But typically in the business world such an action is a prelude to selling/killing/filing bankruptcy proceedings for one of the entities. The fact that the DVD part is getting the new name would seem to indicate they are anticipating the streaming business taking off while the DVD business wanes, so they want to be in position to ditch the DVD part quietly and efficiently.

But is It Still Hot and Juicy?

2011-09-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

Big news in the burger world.

When Wendy's decided to remake its 42-year-old hamburger.....

Why?

Wendy's is trying to boost lackluster sales and fight growing competition from much bigger rival McDonald's on one end and expanding fast-casual chains like Five Guys on the other. Part of the problem is that Americans, who are being squeezed by the tight economy, are being pickier about how they spend their dining-out dollars. But the biggest issue is that Wendy's, which hadn't changed its burger since the chain began in 1969, let its food offerings get stale over the years while its competitors continued to update their menus.

Last year, McDonald's had 49.5 percent of the fast-food burger market in the U.S. up from 41.6 percent in 2002, according to research firm Technomic. In the same period, Wendy's share fell to 12.8 percent from 14 percent. Burger King's fell to 13.3 percent from 17 percent.

Fair enough, but McDonald's didn't change its core items; it just added other stuff to the menu (as has Burger King, with smoothies of its own). But I suppose this should have been expected after Dave Thomas died.

Then there's this.....

...Wendy's polled more than 10,000 people about their likes and dislikes in hamburgers. It found that people like the food at Wendy's but thought the brand hadn't kept up with the times.

So the food is fine but the image needs an update. So they change the food. Not just a little,either.

In the end, Wendy's researchers changed everything but the ketchup.

Personally, I didn't see the need to mess with what was the best big-chain burger out there. I've said it before: if someone would open a Wendy's here, the other chains would be dead to me.

Some of their other plans sound better.

Wendy's, which just got a new CEO last week, wants to expand overseas and on the West Coast, relaunch a breakfast line that's easier for on-the-go eating, and sell more high-margin snacks and beverages. And early next year, it will introduce new chicken sandwiches.

Just as long as they don't mess with the chili.

As Fast As Possible

2011-09-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

It's possible Jon Carroll needs to socialize a bit more.

So, see, my OnStar operator would be my invisible friend.

On a more serious note.....

There I'd be, driving along a lonely road late at night, and oops I would slip and I'd be up against the guardrail.

And then I'd push a blue button and my imaginary friend would wake up, and she'd call a tow truck and an ambulance (just in case), and soon all the benefits of a First World nation would be surrounding me in my hour of need.

This rang a bell with me because occasionally I'm the person they call for those services. They and the other roadside assistance companies like to present an image of having everything readily available at their fingertips to provide help in minutes, and On-Star seems to have an an extensive system.

But out here there are cracks in that system, and when they find one, they usually call us. Then we have to deal with the gap between what they advertise and what is possible. Sometimes response time is going to be in tens of minutes or even hours in certain parts of this state, a concept that often doesn't register with these often urban-based companies. Again, On-Star seems to be a pretty good one. But some companies seem to operate with the hope that their customers won't travel outside heavily populated areas.

School Days

2011-09-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ah, September. The weather cools a bit from the August oven. More importantly, school starts, which means full-time paychecks for Wifey. She had some summer income, but things were pretty lean. Now we clean up the mess of deferred expenses and try to get a handle of things for next summer, which we rarely accomplish fully. I know, the sensible thing to do is set aside money, and I'd like to do that this year, but history is not encouraging.

Bean has taken her first step into the educational world with pre-school. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings. Breakfast, reading books, play time, arts and crafts, lunch, and done. She is ecstatic about it so far. I know the enthusiasm will wane when real work starts in later years, but it's fun to see her all fired up now. Hopefully she'll retain a little of the upbeat spirit.

I personally didn't mind school, probably because it wasn't very hard for me, and it put variety into a small-town life. I never felt the urge to skip. What would I have done in a town of 350 people on a weekday morning/afternoon that would have been more entertaining? The only possible enticement would have been the thrill of breaking the rules, of defying authority, and frankly I didn't think the rules were all that onerous.

A small school (the high school only has 8 classrooms) has an intimacy to it that can be comforting; as a senior I knew not just everyone in my class but all the juniors and most of the sophomores and freshmen. The fact is my friends were all in school, so skipping would have been counter-productive. Hopefully, Bean will have a similar experience.

Not Celebratory

2011-08-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

James Lileks went on a Disney cruise to Europe. He made an interesting point about one of the themes on Day 5.

On the ship it was Pirate Night.... I arrred well and hard at the maitre d’ when we entered: it’s table nine I’ll be wanting, me hearties - but once Bradford, our waiter, asked me if I would be dressing up, I explained that my sympathies were with the colonial administrators, just trying to get the money to the mother country without losing it to some thieves. Pirates are interesting, but not admirable, no matter how you gussy it up with yo-ho-hoing and avast-ye-matey exultations of a life unbound from convention and oppression. As all the waiters danced around the room, wearing pirate costumes, I had a vision of a ship 400 years hence, with all the waiters dressed up for Al-Qaeda night, wearing suicide vests and waving automatic weapons.

The Al-Qaeda reference might be going a bit too far, but seeing the suffering caused by current pirates, and realizing that past pirates caused similar fear and loathing, does temper my enthusiasm for extolling them, even in cartoon form, which is what this is. I also can't help but wonder at holding such a party on a ship.

Cheer Up As Best You Can

2011-08-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

Once again, Jon Carroll hits it.

It's been a gloomy few weeks, hasn't it?All that nonsense in Washington, followed by that nonsense on Wall Street, followed by rioting in London and most of the nation baked so badly in crippling heat that one is surprised their brains were not fried right there in their skulls like eggs on the sidewalk.

We've had all that, plus a summer of steady flooding, which brings up a thought. What can you think about flooding caused not by natural calamity, but by conscious decision? Yes, the motivations for the decision were natural - heavy snow pack in Montana - but there was something very odd about the Corps of Engineers saying, "We're going to cause major flooding in your community, by releasing a certain amount of water, starting on a certain day, for a certain length of time." That cold precision has not gone down well. The Corps has made a few enemies around here.

Anyway, Jon says to take heart.

There is pleasure all around us, and while we are suffering from the News, the not-news should give us comfort. You know, rubber ducks and old dogs and tall trees and tomatoes (They're in! They're fresh! I have mentioned this already!) and good-looking members of the human race. Also wisdom and Rembrandt and jug band music. So many things.

It won't just happen,though.

The bad news is always with us; we have to make the good news.

This or That

2011-08-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

A recent issue of Car and Driver had a number of short two-car comparison tests, some traditional (Mustang vs. Camaro) some, well, seemingly based on whatever cars they had on hand (BMW 1-series vs. Mazda RX-8?). This got me to thinking (uhoh) about the preferences in my own life.

Since Car and and Driver started this, I'll lead off with them vs. Road and Track. I've subscribed to both for longer than I care to ponder, and each has a distinct character. C&D has always been edgier and bawdier, especially during the David E. Davis era (RIP sir), and a bit more willing to be critical of its subjects. R&T has a generally mellower tone and, more importantly, it has Peter Egan. My taste tends toward C&D, but as long as I can afford both (and Egan is still writing) I'll read both.

McDonald's vs. Burger King. Again, I patronize both, but in this case it's because neither really sets me off enough to justify exclusivity. I've begun using the McDonald's value menu because (1) I'm cheap and (2) the burgers on it have a certain old-fashioned minimalist flavor that I've been finding refreshing as the main offerings seem to be trending toward gigantism. I have yet to try this at Burger King, largely because the Whopper is a fine sandwich, especially in Angry form. Burger King's lack of a children's play area can be a factor if we've got Bean with us, since she's more likely to sit still and eat without the looming temptations. It's to the point that we alternate, if we can recall the place at which we last ate. We do make occasional spontaneous stops for waffle cones at Burger King on Wednesdays and Sundays when they're on sale.

(Important point: On a recent trip to Sioux Falls we ate at Wendy's, which reminded me that if someone were to open one here, the other burger joints would be dead to me. The burgers, the chili, the frosties....the place just hits the spot.)

Coke vs. Pepsi. This has never been a real contest: I've always been a Coke guy. Unlike some people I know, though, I will drink either depending on what's available. It also depends on what form the beverage takes; I drink regular Coke from fountains, but lately I've been buying Cherry Coke from the machine at work. I also keep some Caffeine-free Coke (non-diet; I have not yet found a diet pop that doesn't leave an aftertaste, although Diet Squirt isn't bad) at home for those times when a Coke sounds good but I need to be certain of getting to sleep.

Old Looney Tunes vs. reruns of The Simpsons. This one comes up because they are on opposite each other at 11:30 am weekdays. This one can put wear and tear on the remote control depending on what is being shown. I'm a big fan of most Chuck Jones productions, but certain classic Simpsons episodes (The B-Sharps, The Last Temptation of Homer) can hold the tuner in place. Usually, it ends up as a click-fest during commercials.

Flying Time

2011-07-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

Finally, a chance to post something. This poor blog gets treated like our house plant, which somehow continues to survive despite erratic watering and being in the same pot of soil it came in several years ago. My wife says it’s the perfect plant for her.

One distraction was the commemoration of Bean (the nickname given granddaughter Whitney by her grandmother) attaining three years of age. A large crowd turned out for festivities that were held in my backyard, which is actually a common area in the mobile home park that has a picnic shelter, a concrete area with a basketball hoop, some playground equipment and a large sandbox.

Meat was grilled, and large quantities of liquids were put to use to combat the equatorial heat, both by internal consumption and in an inflatable combination pool and slip-and-slide that kept the kids entertained, especially the birthday girl, who decided to use it without changing into her swimming suit, which was only a temporary problem given the quick-drying outdoor conditions.

Naturally Bean acquired lots of swag: dolls and clothes and various other goodies. One hiccup in the soiree was the birthday cake from Wal-mart; it looked like it had been assembled by Bean herself. There wasn’t time to get a proper replacement. Grandma plans to investigate thoroughly. (Update – a full refund was procured.)

Overall, though, good times were had until the mosquitoes declared an end, leaving me to try to avoid thinking about how quickly it seems that this has become three years old.

Wiper Fluid and Hot Wheels

2011-06-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

Once again, sound advice from James Lileks.

I made a Trader Joe’s run, stocked up on all sorts of fine things to eat, bought some enormous flagons of spirits but did not go with the plastic bottles, always a sign that the guests wake the next day feeling poisoned. If you can imagine the same bottle containing windshield wiper fluid, don’t buy it.

Followed later by a memory.

As I said, I had a Hot Wheels version, painted with sparkly metal. I loved those things, even though the tracks invariably broke and became difficult to connect. See, you had these long strips of track connected by flat pieces of plastic that fit into grooves on the bottom. The grooves split. The tracks were not seamless. You sent a car down the track, it hit a groove, flipped. Which was cool because you make explosion sounds and pretend everyone was on fire and screaming – you know, innocent boyhood play. But eventually all the tracks were ruined. This may have happened for everyone who ever had Hot Wheels.

As I recall the tracks made fine weapons, emitting a loud SLAP and leaving a distinctive red mark when applied to skin.

It Depends On Who is Watching

2011-06-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

I’ve been periodically checking out the new additions to our cable TV with the hope of finding some reason to watch them, and I‘ve noticed few things.

The durability of film stock – and just as importantly the willingness to hang on to old productions - has apparently come a long way over the years, judging by the number of movies shown on the This channel that I thought would have disappeared a long time ago. To be fair, I must say that at least some of them are as entertaining as some of the junk that gets played repeatedly on other cable channels, and they at least add a little variety.

Bravo and E! (the exclamation point hardly seems justified based on the product) have reminded me that almost anyone with a lack of shame can get a TV show, particularly if they can add some emotional instability.

E! has reminded me of something I’ve thought about in the past, though. I’ve occasionally come across Sex in the City reruns there, and I’ve noticed that their versions are edited differently - with a bit more risqué content left in - than the ones I saw on TBS. I’ve seen this before, most memorably with Caddyshack, which I have seen edited at least 4 distinctly different ways (on at least 6 different channels, which brings up another point: these days any halfway serviceable movie or TV series is distributed so broadly you can find some of them seemingly at any time of the day or night). One of these completely eliminated the candy-bar-in-the-pool scene, which requires a level of prudish thinking that I didn’t think still existed in the television industry.

I wonder who made those decisions? I know the networks have departments that handle it, and I assume cable channels have something similar. It’s also possible with a well-known movie like Caddyshack that they just took what the distributor offered them with a description of the changes that had been made.

On the other hand, I know it can be much less organized at the local station level. At KEVN years ago I was involved a couple of times in checking out a syndicated movie before it was aired. Both times we had to do some editing, and both times it was just two people making the calls, with no guidelines other than our personal tastes and a general knowledge of broadcasting standards.

I’d like to think the big boys have a more sophisticated process, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not much more so, other than the likely involvement of lawyers. It’s never helped that FCC rules have long been “we know what is wrong when we see it”, which leads to a conservative approach, especially at local stations who can’t afford to risk the big fines.

In one case – a topless female corpse - the decision was simple. What to do about a scene in another movie involving a (very brief) shot of a power drill being used on someone’s hand was slightly less clear. We decided to take it out since the movie was to be aired on Thanksgiving afternoon, which shows how arbitrary the process was. It also says something about broadcast TV - boobs bad, torture maybe not – about which I’d best not get started.

McGinley, Movies and Mid-Continent Service

2011-06-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

I'm still trying to figure out how the producers of Two and a Half Men are going to make the Ashton Kutcher for Charlie Sheen thing work. Perhaps they should have gone after the master of joining a series in the middle, Ted McGinley, who would at least be right for the role of older brother and has always had a rakish charm similar to Sheen. The show has been going downhill anyway, and McGinley has experience in such situations.

I recently had a brush with peril while channel surfing. On TCM was All Quiet on the Western Front. Three channels over TBS was showing Mamma Mia. For some reason I was compelled for a short time to switch back and forth, which created a mind-altering effect that seemed to radiate from my TV. I had to stop before I did myself an injury. I can only speculate what would have happened if I had a high-definition set.

It's nice to have an experience that goes against a negative stereotype, especially one that is thoroughly ingrained, and I think I should relate mine. Our cable-company-provided Internet has long been a bit sporadic, with burps that required resetting the modem. I had always attributed it to wiring that had been done over time by various people with varying skill levels, and just lived with it as long it wasn't too annoying.Not long ago,though, it seemed to really take a turn for the worse, so I called the cable company. The lady checked the connection and detected enough of a problem that she suggested sending a technician the next Monday. He arrived right on time and did a thorough check of everything. He not only found and fixed the faulty Internet cable but replaced some other sub par connections, eliminated a number of splices, ran a new cable in the living room and generally spruced things up, all with a genial good humor.

It was enough to make me give greater thought to getting telephone service through them, though my general aversion to putting all my communication eggs in one basket will probably keep that from happening. I have some quibbles with the programming end of Mid-Continent Communications (why does the TV Guide Channel rundown only approximate what we actually get?) but their service has been top-notch.

No Argument

2011-06-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

It happens to almost all of us at some point, and it recently happened to me. I was sitting quietly on the couch when I heard a knock at the door. Opening it revealed two door-to-door missionaries, in this case Mormons, resplendent in white shirts and dark slacks, looking entirely too happy to be there. It happened that my wife was due home with supper soon, so I used that as an excuse to put them off in the hope that they would forget about returning. But return they did, a few days later. This time I went to the rope-a-dope, being as polite as possible in expressing my satisfaction with my relations with the Almighty while avoiding any specifics that would give them an opening for discussion. Eventually they realized nothing was going to be accomplished, so they moved on.

I’ve given some thought to that encounter, especially my actions. Why didn’t I gird my loins and engage them in lively conversation? After all, I’ve read enough about Mormonism to wonder about some of its more… er…interesting aspects. I could have at least asked them what luck of the draw got them Pierre instead of someplace like Ethiopia, and whether they considered that a good thing. Instead I basically curled up like a hedgehog and waited for them to tire out.

The shallow reason is I wasn’t in the mood. I was enjoying my evening and didn’t want to interrupt it by arguing with a couple of strangers. More to the point, I didn’t feel like engaging in a discussion that had no hope of accomplishing anything other than perhaps determining who had greater patience with the other. I certainly wasn’t going to join the Latter Day Saints, and anyone who has the conviction necessary to cheerfully (at least apparently; if they were faking it they were doing a fine job) engage in missionary work isn’t likely to be swayed by the likes of me. That at best leaves agreeing to disagree, which hardly seems worth the trouble.

As for treating it as an opportunity to learn more about their faith to satisfy intellectual curiosity, that would have violated a basic rule for dealing with people with Conviction: don’t get them started. Had I popped that cork I likely would have had to forcefully replace it. The end result would likely have been general irritation, which would have spoiled everyone’s evening. Perhaps under different circumstances, such as a discussion group or a classroom-type setting, I would be more inclined to pursue an inquiry, but not one (or two) on one in my living room.

I guess it comes down to apathy. As long as they do me no harm, I don’t care enough about their religion to inconvenience myself arguing about it.

Mr. Las Vegas in Mitchell

2011-05-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

Ah, the last day of a stretch of time off, one that originally was going to be nine days long, then became eight, then finally one day off, one day at work, then six days off. Oh well, it was quite enjoyable anyway.

As usual, this vacation was coordinated with my wife's doctor's appointments in Sioux Falls, but also with a special event for her; a Wayne Newton concert at the Corn Palace (oops, that's The World's Only! Corn Palace) in Mitchell. My wife is a slobbering Wayne Newton fan. She's had a crush on him since she saw him on The Lucy Show in 1965. (Googling....yes, it's out there.) She saw him in Las Vegas just before he stopped his regular gigs there, and this was likely her last chance to see him again, so when I heard about this show and saw that the tickets weren't outlandishly expensive by today's frightening standards I jumped at it.

We got there about an hour early and there was already a crowd waiting for the doors to open. I noticed at least two charter buses of people from around the state. I also noticed that I was probably in the lower 20% agewise. (When Newton announced that a couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary I sensed a fair amount of "I remember when we hit 50 years" feeling in the crowd.) My wife purchased two souvenirs; a key chain with Newton's picture and a nightgown that has "I spent an evening with Wayne Newton" printed on it, augmenting her t-shirt from the previous concert and a poster for this one that she got from a Pierre restaurant.

As venues go, the Corn Palace is small, even by South Dakota standards. There are permanent seats on only one of the long sides of the main arena, with a stage opposite them and barely enough room for a basketball court in between (no seats on the ends of the court). This theater-like layout does, however, suit it well for shows like this one, when they put seats on the court. Our seats were straight out and just a bit above stage level (per the suggestion of the lady I talked to when I ordered the tickets back in December) which was just about right. The show started pretty close to on-time with a band that interestingly was over half local talent; Newton only travels with a small core of regulars.

This was my first live exposure to a Las Vegas-style act, and I immediately noticed a few things. First, Newton seemed to really enjoy himself. After so many years he could hardly be blamed for being a bit weary of the whole thing, but he came out with good energy and did his best to liven up the crowd, which responded as best they could for their age. Second, there must be certain standard songs, because Newton did a few that I had seen Elvis do in a movie of his show. In fact, I couldn't help but think about how Elvis might have looked if he had still been alive and performing at Newton's age (69).

My biggest impression was that Newton really is a multi-talented guy. He played a number of instruments, sang a wide variety of songs and told a few jokes. Like any performer of that type, though, he did some things better than others. I've never been that big a fan of his singing voice, and frankly I think he should re-examine some of his choices of material. I thought of George Jones, who we saw in 2008 and who is 11 years older than Newton. Jones is also not what he once was, but he sticks within his range and style and can still put on a good show; Newton could learn from that. On the other hand, Newton was quite competent on guitar and actually pretty good on violin. He also gave some of his backup talent a chance to show their stuff, and as you would expect they were excellent.

The show went for a little shy of 2 hours, and I got the feeling that his fans were quite happy with it. I know my wife thought it was great. That's really all any entertainer could hope to accomplish.

Getting Loaded

2011-05-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think Jon Carroll and I live the same life.

I am the chief dishwasher in this house, and I like to have some control over my territory. I like things in a certain order because (a) it's possible to get more stuff in the washer per load if Certain Rules are followed and (b) it's possible to unload the dishwasher more quickly if like objects are grouped together.

You probably noticed that when Jon refers to himself as a "dishwasher", he means "the person who sees to it that the dishes are washed" as opposed to "the person who washes the dishes".

I am the chief dishwasher facilitator (that seems to be a more accurate or at least more impressive-sounding description) here, mainly because I am also the primary cook. Somehow it feels more comfortable, more complete to do both jobs.

Unlike the manual dishwashing of old, when one person washed and other dried, this is not a group effort.

If, God forbid, someone should come in to offer help, we resist in the strongest possible terms.

I have strayed somewhat in this area on occasion, for the usual reason: Bean (Grandbaby's nickname, given to her by Grandma) likes to help once in a while, and making exceptions for grandchildren is part of The Code. Note, however, that this only applies to unloading.

Jon and I have also faced similar inquisitions.

We were sitting around the kitchen after dinner as I was doing the dishes, and the grandmother said something in French to the father, our translator for the weekend. They had a small hushed argument, and finally he said, "She wants to know why you wash the dishes before you put them in the machine that washes the dishes."

My daughters have been my interrogators on this subject, so I have been able to write it off as youthful ignorance of the tenacity of dried food on kitchenware, and the detrimental effects large pieces can have on on dishwasher innards. My younger daughter has since moved into an apartment with her own dishwasher, and with it has acquired maturity and understanding. I haven't seen her loading technique, so I haven't had a chance to offer advice, which may be for the best. As with many things, she should develop her own style.

Weather,Waltzing, and Wal-Mart

2011-05-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

The weather continues its ups and downs as we head into May. Not long ago I was beginning to notice a slight defensiveness in the tone of the local TV weather people, as though they were weary of having to constantly bring bad news. It's hard to blame them after six months.

My wife recently received a collection of country music CDs which included the Patti Page song "Tennessee Waltz", which reminded me of a question I had often thought of exploring. Is there an actual Tennessee Waltz as mentioned in the song? If so, where can I find it? Google is silent on the matter as far as I can tell.

Once again, James Lileks strikes a nerve.

Went to the local Walgreen’s, where my suspicions of the last few weeks was confirmed: they appear to have dumped the house brand of popcorn. This is a problem.....Dismayed, I put back my empty basket, hoping I could find a manager who would assure me that it was just a supply problem, the popcorn would return, but I know better. And thus are my trips to Walgreen ended. I went for a particular item, and usually picked up more stuff. No more.

I frequently have the same problem here. The local Wal-Mart regularly stops carrying items we find desirable, items which are often available at Wal-Marts elsewhere. I sometimes think that this store is at the end of the truck route, and thus gets whatever is left.

I'm also annoyed at the unwillingness/inability of other stores to step into the gaps Wal-Mart leaves. K-mart in particular seems determined to stay just a little worse that Wal-Mart, like a runner who slows down to keep a gap when the runner in front stumbles. I have noticed that K-Mart has started expanding it's appliance offerings - no doubt trying to compensate for the absence of corporate mate Sears here - which could be a good idea, although I wonder how the support will be.

Got Him At Last

2011-05-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

I must interrupt my usual blathering to note the killing of Osama bin Laden. (I was going to provide a link, but c'mon...it's everywhere.) Much will be said about this, so I will only offer congratulations to all involved for improving planetary quality.

Disease and Death

2011-04-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

At last, some relatively seasonal weather, or at least something that meets community standards that have been steadily lowering ("At least I have haven't had to scrape frost.") Blustery and cool beats snow, tornadoes and flooding.

I've been perusing our recently acquired new cable channels, and one in particular doesn't thrill me, that being the change of Fit TV to Discovery Fit and Health. I wasn't a big watcher of Fit TV (all workouts, all the time) but the new channel seems to be mostly freak shows, some with the word actually in the name ("Freaky Eaters"). Really large or incredibly small people, hoarders, ER oddities, people with gigantic tumors or other rare diseases....if there's an odd medical or psychological condition, it's on there. A co-worker asked me what purpose these shows serve, and I had to admit I hadn't thought about it, and couldn't think of anything legitimate. I suppose they can classified as either there-but-for-the- grace-of-God-go-I or the point-and-ridicule group, depending of your level of sympathy. Either way it seems a bit unseemly for the Discovery Networks.

My daughter recently went through one of those life experiences we all face at some point, though not usually this soon; the death of a friend, in this case sadly at only 20yo of liver disease. They had been pretty close in junior high and high school. The friend had moved to Sioux Falls after graduation, so we didn't know about the illness, which added to the shock. The poor girl had a hard life, with a father who molested her and her siblings as youngsters and a mother who was so ineffectual that the children were taken away for a year and (as I understand it) only given back to the mother after she had left him. (Frankly, I doubt the wisdom of that return. I only met the mother once, but I wouldn't trust her to feed a fish.) Even then the girl was the glue that held the household together, which is no way to grow up. She had been planning on becoming a chef when I last talked to her a couple of years ago, before the disease. Sometimes it seems some people are born under a cloud.

Technological Leap Frog

2011-04-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

To my seemingly endless list of reasons to neglect this humble blog, I can now add equipment failure. A few days ago I pushed the start button and was greeted with only a blinking light and eventually not even that. After a brief bout of classic temporary insanity during which I repeated the same procedure hoping for a different result, I unhooked everything and took the computer to a trusted repair shop, where a diagnosis of power supply failure was reached and a new one installed at relatively low expense.

During the two days it was at the shop I naturally did some shopping for a replacement should it have been necessary, and I was reminded of the constant growth of the capability of PCs, especially in hard drive capacity. Basic units have hard drives that dwarf the one in the ancient PC I'm using, which itself is only about at 1/3 capacity. I frankly don't know what I would do with so much memory, since I'm not a big game player and I don't store a lot of video.

I mentioned this to my professional IT brother and he said something that brought back memories. He noted that even basic software takes up a lot more memory that it used to, and that Windows 7 is noteworthy as a storage hog. I couldn't help but chuckle at this, since I'd been dealing with that since the dawn of PC time, when companies such as Osborne and Victor still roamed the landscape and Bill Gates was not yet sleeping in pajamas made of money.

There has always been the chicken-or-egg question: was hardware growth necessitated by software demands, or did software swell because the hardware allowed it? Looking back, I think it tended to be first the latter, then the former. Software developers used all the available abilities of the hardware, which induced manufacturers to build better equipment to allow better performance, which created room for software to grow, repeat to this day.

Of course, it wasn't and still isn't as sequential as that. Often someone in one camp jumps in front; HP has long been putting huge-for-the-time hard drives into their computers, and game companies often seemed to have products in their warehouses waiting for a computer that could handle them, although that has become less frequent as custom gaming machines have come back. (I wonder what the old Atari people think about the rise of Wii, Playstation, etc.? Having others stand on your shoulders is often uncomfortable.) I suppose it will eventually level off, but at what point is hard to say.

As Long As It's Crunchy

2011-04-18T09:28:00.001-07:00

I went to see what Chairman Bill had to say about the upcoming royal wedding, and found this.

Not having his glasses to hand, the Chairman blindly grabbed a nearby open Tupperware box into which he put the bacon bits before taking it outside to scatter on the salad.

Later, when Hay and the Chairman were doing the washing up, Hay enquired how the Tupperware box for the cat’s kitty crunchies had gotten into the washing up.

Anyway, the upshot is that kitty crunchies make excellent and economical salad croutons and no-one can tell the difference.

I find that unreasonably funny. I must say,however, that I'm not sure of the economical part of that statement, based on what I've seen of cat food prices versus those of human food.

Blow, Indeed

2011-04-05T09:52:00.000-07:00

Charlie Sheen's Tour of something-or-other continued in Chicago after complete disaster in Detroit. Jeffrey Sconce was there to see Sheen try to get back off the canvas. (via Faith in Honest Doubt)

...I felt deep inside the faintest stirrings of a long lost sensation that I believe I once called "shame"--as if I had just been caught emerging from a brothel / geek show / monster truck pull.

Sad,sad,sad....but equally unsurprising. Also unsurprising is that two drug recognition experts I know, when asked what they think Sheen is on, said without hesitation "cocaine".

Expression, High and Low

2011-04-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

To some people I would be considered a Renaissance man - that is, someone from the 14th through the 17th centuries. I have neither a Twitter account nor a Facebook page. This humble blog and an e-mail account constitute my Internet presence. I do not own a movable music-playing device unless you count the radio - with a cassette player, no less - in my car. My chief electronic medium for entertainment and information is the antediluvian television, which I first encountered in black-and-white. My primary telephone still makes use of wires running to my house, some of which I connected myself. A cellular telephone does reside here, but it is used almost entirely by my wife when we're on the road. I have been told it has picture-taking capability but I have never bothered to investigate.

All of which is a very long way of explaining why I have no pictures of the objects I recently encountered. Both are another ancient form of communication; signs stuck to the backs of cars. The first was on the back of a vehicle behind which I was parked while waiting for my daughter. It was in the shape of a ribbon of the "Support the Troops" style, but white with a red border, and it said "Support Farting". This one induced more thought than it probably should have, probably a result of it being right in the line of sight for period of time.

My standards for humor are fairly low, but this perplexed me. It's not clever, and it's not disgusting enough to elicit a wince. I sat there trying to imagine the type of person of sufficient age to own and operate a motor vehicle who would not only consider it amusing but worth purchasing (sadly, there are a number of retailers) and publicly displaying. Then the driver of the vehicle came out of the building, and I must say that except for being slightly older he pretty much perfectly fit the stereotype I had formed, at least in appearance. I didn't consider asking him about it; it didn't seem prudent.

The second vehicle I encountered - at a stoplight - was completely different. It actually had two stickers. The one on the left said "Freedom of Religion Means ALL Religions". The one on the right said "Born Again Pagan". The license plate indicated the vehicle was from Brookings County, home to SDSU and thus slightly more likely to be a location for such thought. Still, a display of that type isn't something seen frequently in South Dakota, at least by me. Based again on a quickly-formed stereotype, and without being able to see the driver, I wish this had been the vehicle I had been parked behind. I would likely have tried to strike up a conversation. I'd like to think it would have been interesting.

Only Move When Necessary

2011-03-21T10:32:00.000-07:00

Jon Carroll is suffering.

I threw my back out the other day. Now everything has to be done with great attention to detail, lest pain set in. Pain sets in anyway, but the amount is not as great.

This causes a very basic change.

A bad back takes away the impulse to impulsive behavior. No more carefree days of rising and getting a drink of water. Now it's a 10-minute process, complete with thinking.

But is he complaining? Well,yes, but....

I'm not really whining; I am expressing solidarity with all the other back sufferers. You really don't know what it is until you get it, and if ever, ever I was less than effusively sympathetic to someone with back pain, I take it all back now. Nobody knows the trouble you've seen. I believe that now.

Growing Out of a Name

2011-03-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

At last, true signs of Spring. Most of the snow is gone here, and any that replaces it is now likely to be short-lived, a last rear-guard action. Now all the talk on the news and among government officials is of flooding, with Emergency Operations being planned and patrols looking for road closures. There are also robins in large numbers, as well as a sighting of the first outdoor spider of the season, along with a fly large enough to carry off that spider if it so desired.

Saturday was also the first day in the yard for Grandbaby this season. She had noticed with great excitement the gradual reappearance of rocks and grass from under the snow after 5 months, which is a considerable period when you've only put in 32 months on earth. Now the ground had dried sufficiently for running about and swinging and chasing a local squirrel and generally wearing out Grandpa. Happily for my cardiovascular functions she finally slowed down when she got the idea to use a tree branch to "catch fish" in the water running along our curb (her timing was spot on, too; by Sunday all that water was gone). It's interesting to see what sticks in a child's memory. She hadn't been fishing since last summer, yet she still recalled it well enough to reenact the basic mechanics.

Typing this also brings up something I have been contemplating. If you saw my previous post (sorry) you know that Grandbaby is no longer The Grandbaby. That and her movement out of Babyhood have led me to consider a name change for her in this humble blog. (I know, she'll always be her Mom's baby, just as her Mom is still my wife's baby and my daughter is still her Mom's baby, etc. I'm not going anywhere near that.)

Granddaughter is accurate, but not distinctive; we have 5 granddaughters. I admit to giving Stink Pot serious consideration for reasons that become obvious to anyone who experiences more than 10 minutes of her...shall we say... precociousness. Bean has been given to her as a nickname by her Grandma. Then there's always Whitney because - as she would say - that's her name. I will have to give this more consideration. Certain decisions should not be rushed.

Teeth and Other Discards

2011-03-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

James Lileks and I (see previous post) aren't the only ones with a tooth-related tale. Dale at Faith in Honest Doubt not only has a memory, he has the teeth.

I have kept them as a reminder of oh, say, the frail, ephemeral quality of our bodies, or because it's not clear how best to dispose of cast-off body parts.

I had my wisdom teeth pulled at about that same time (I don't recall exactly when, and it would be too much work to find out). My problem was opposite the usual; one was sticking out, causing me to bite the inside of my cheek. The upside to that was they all came out quite easily, the only slight problem occurring when one came out of the pliers and I had to sit up rather abruptly to avoid swallowing it. I also took mine home. I presented them to my first wife, who let me know she would have lived on quite happily without that little surprise. Sadly, I don't still have them. Interestingly, I don't have that wife either. I shall move on without further pursuit of that.

I have had different experiences with body part disposal. I wasn't allowed to keep the bone chip that was removed from my elbow. Apparently the hospital needed it to prove they actually accomplished something. My first wife, however, got to take her gall stones home (different hospital), and my daughter took them to school for show-and-tell. From what I understand, the kids thought they were cool, but the teacher's reaction was similar to my first wife's response to the teeth.

Most recently my wife told me that her son gave her his newest daughter's umbilical cord, and that she is crafting a pouch for them to store it. (As an aside, this young lass was born roughly 5 weeks prematurely at 9 lbs. 9 oz. In the preemie ward she looks like a Harley in a parking lot full of scooters.) Apparently this is a Lakota tradition (the mother is Lakota), but it was new to me, and my initial reaction, though outwardly subdued, wasn't much different in thought from the others I mentioned.

Ah well, as Dale noted, I guess it beats just throwing the old parts out. I believe the slogan is "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle".

Pick Your Pain

2011-03-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

James Lileks and I share an affliction.

A quiet evening at home with only the dull silent roar of my back molar to interrupt the heart-salving balm of domestic joy. I think that was the problem with the chap in the Munch painting, “The Scream.” Had nothing to do with the condition of modern man confronting the challenges of modernity, and the attendant disruption of old social norms and the rise of an atomized sense of individuality lost in the screaming sea of urban life, adrift from the anchorages – God, King, Country – where once Man found shelter. Dude just had a toothache.

My tooth trouble isn't nearly that intense, just ongoing. It had a large cavity, which I had filled last November, I believe. At the end of January a mysterious crunchy material appeared in my mouth, and the tooth began stinging occasionally. Nothing terrible, just annoying. A trip to the dentist determined that the filling was still OK, but the tooth was falling apart around it. The dentist attempted reconstruction, which seemed OK for about two days before the mild ache reappeared. Again, it's not a large inconvenience, so I don't feel the need or have the funds to run back again. Further deterioration may change that.

James also recalled his days as a high school debater.

There were certain types of speeches about the subject du jour – if the resolution concerned energy conservation, and you were neg, you’d go shale, or deep-water drilling, or nukes, or a combination of all available options. As soon as you said “Nuclear power” the other team would roll out the boilerplate, and with a bad team they’d throw everything at the walk without addressing your specifics. First neg would make a speech he or she had made before, but it wasn’t necessarily a rebuttal of what you’d said. Second affirmative would rebut the salient points; second neg would crow over all the things they’d said you hadn’t rebutted.

Something tells me we called those splatter-shot arguments “spamming.”

It seems to me to be a fair description of typical political discourse in this country. I prefer the toothache.

Charlie and Elvira

2011-03-08T06:32:00.000-08:00

Another day started with snow shoveling, which happens here in March, I know. I'd just like to see the outside temperature rise to something close to average.

One thing worth pondering (to me, anyway) about the Charlie Sheen breakdown (I don't know what else to call it) from a purely TV angle is the coincidental deterioration of Two and a Half Men. The plots seemed to be getting more fanciful and less coherent, with Sheen's character acting almost as crazy as he has been doing. This had to have an additional enabling effect beyond the normal Hollywood ass-kissing associated with success.

It also brings up a chicken-or-egg question. There's always been a certain art-imitates-life feel to the show, what with guest appearances by Martin Sheen, Emilio Estevez, old friend Sean Penn and even second wife Denise Richards with their daughter Sam. Have the producers and writers been trying to accommodate Sheen's lifestyle to keep the show together, or has Sheen been letting his character bleed into real life? Likely a bit of both. I also can't help but notice that here's another person who has succumbed to the the pressures and distortions of a life spent in and around the Hollywood fantasy machine.

As for the show, it has reached the age where many series start to go downhill anyway. I don't see how it can survive. Plugging in someone else, Bewitched-style, for Sheen wouldn't seem to be workable, although the producers have nothing to lose by trying. Perhaps Jon Cryer and Angus Jones could spin off into a new show.

On another TV note, we've completed our company-forced conversion to digital cable with the successful installation of a converter box on each of our three TVs. They work OK, I guess, even as they remind me of the boxes I used to have in the early days of cable, except for the remote control, of course. We considered replacing one of the TVs to avoid paying for a box (two of them are free) but we don't really have the money for that, and $2 a month is cheap enough. I'm not terribly impressed with the channel-surfing ability of the tuner, though.

This has added the off-air digital channels we didn't get before. The other two Public TV channels basically run stuff the main channel has run, along with some programs not seen around here before. It also allows all the state high school basketball tournaments to be on TV. There's also a movie channel called This, which adds a bit more variety to the lineup even if it has brought Elvira back with her lineup of truly bad movies, such as Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter. (The title should be all you need to know, but if not....here. Horror indeed.) NBC's Universal Sports channel is great if you like skiing. The two additional Fox Sports channels haven't been of much use so far except for the airing of some local college basketball. KELO's weather channel isn't much to watch, but it does offer another source for local conditions, which is nice given the local Weather Channel's abandonment of the bottom-of-the-screen ongoing updates for our area. Overall, it's been more good than bad, which is rare for channel additions.

Skip the Cookies

2011-02-25T09:58:00.000-08:00

Once again, Jon Carroll touched on something that has long irked me.

So I was walking by a school the other day and there, set up right in front of the administration building, was a woman selling Girl Scout cookies. Her daughter was in class, she explained, and she was just helping out, and did I want a couple of boxes of Thin Mints?

The Girl Scout literature in re: cookies suggests that, in addition to raising money for the organization, cookie sales build teamwork, responsibility and basic financial skills. There's also, in theory, a sense of pride developed when a girl sells enough cookies to win a small prize of some sort.

No word yet on what emotions the girl feels if her mother wins a small prize.

Personally I think what it teaches the girls is how to use cuteness and charm to get what you want (would you buy those cookies at those prices if the local V.F.W. was selling them?) which may be useful to the girls who retain those qualities as they get older, but isn't necessarily a good overall lesson.

Here I must say that the notion of parents helping sell cookies isn't what bugs me. Parents know that if they don't raise money this way, it will come out of their pockets some other way. The Girls Scouts can talk all they want about what selling cookies teaches the girls. What ends up coming through is an old parenting maxim: parents do what they must for their kids, and sometimes the grand ideals take a back seat.

Jon provides an example of what has actually irritated me about this.

The girls launched into their speech, and I said we really didn't like to keep cookies in the house and could I give money instead? Just then, I heard a voice. "The cookies. He needs to buy the cookies."

I peered around and, yes indeed, there was Mom, hissing instructions at her little darling. (I needed to buy the cookies, I later learned, because the points and prizes do not accrue to people who just get cookie-size checks - why this should be I have no idea.)

That tells me that this isn't about supporting the local troop, it's about competition, and selling cookies to support the other people involved in the operation. The Girl Scouts of America can talk about how much of the money stays in the "area", but it doesn't compare with 100% of a direct donation to the local troop.

That Mom lost sight of the real goal, which is to raise money for those kids. Take Jon's donation and put it straight into the troop coffers. Encourage the local troop to work direct donations into the campaign (the health angle is a good one) and have awards for it. Politicians like to blather about local control. Here's a case where it's a good idea.

Optional Activity: the Ultimate Luxury

2011-02-25T08:43:00.000-08:00

At last, a chance to enjoy a bit of my vacation, now that I'm at the half-way point, done with the current round of snow-shoveling and waiting for the next, which has been predicted to come tonight into tomorrow. At least we had a bit of melting before the big blast, which took care of all but the largest, here-until-May piles of plowed snow which are now even larger because they occupy the only good places to put it. I don't have any plans that will require getting out early to shovel, so I may be able to look out and say, "I think I'll stay in today." People talk about what they would do if they won the lottery. I think that being able to avoid doing something unpleasant because you don't need to do it is an ultimate luxury.

I also completed the task which served as an excuse to take some time off, sneaking between the snow storms for the quarterly trip to Sioux Falls for the wife's doctor's appointment. I use the singular because efforts to coordinate with other doctors had failed despite three months' effort. (It sounds like the next trip could be more successful, but I'll believe it when we're there.) We also found out that the doctor is leaving, as is her primary physician here (again), which means rebuilding relationships while hoping nothing important falls through the cracks. On a cynically positive note, the way things have gone in the past, having someone new take a fresh look might not be all bad.

Teleconferencing is becoming increasingly available, which is usually a poor substitute for an in-person visit. But since these visits often consist of talking about tests that can be done here (assuming the results are relayed to the doctor, which is far from a given; a test about which I'd written in the past failed to get sent, which is far from the first time, and like the others no one could be persuaded to answer the phone, much less provide an explanation) this is a better-than-nothing solution that reduces the need for what we just went through yesterday. We recently had one, and they tried to replicate the in-person experience by having us spend most of the time waiting while looking at a video feed of an empty chair. But it did get the job done without a day-long road trip and the arrangements necessary to take it.

I know, I did use the trip as an excuse to take some time off. But I go back to that lottery thought, which is that doing something because you like the idea feels more luxurious than doing it because you must.

Pledging and Spangling

2011-02-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

I had not heard of this objection to the Pledge of Allegiance.

She objects to the phrase "with liberty and justice for all," saying that she doesn't believe that this country provides liberty and justice for all.

The results have been predictable.

Naturally, she's taken a lot of heat for her stand, mostly from people who can't vote for her. Commentators called her unpatriotic. I personally don't believe that patriotism has much to do with reciting rote words in a public setting. The meanest traitor could do that, and it would not improve his character one bit.

I'm reminded of an episode of M*A*S*H in which Dr. Sidney Freedman is accused of being a communist because he didn't sign a loyalty oath. He replied by asking, "If I were a communist, do you think I would have hesitated for a second to sign a loyalty oath?"

Jon Carroll makes an interesting point from this.

Like most Americans, I learned the Pledge in elementary school. I don't recall anyone trying to attach meaning to the words; I just recall having the words drilled into me.

Really, pledging allegiance to a flag sounds rather silly. I know, it's part of a larger loyalty oath to the country. But that larger loyalty is directly expressed in the pledge. So a separate reference to the flag seems a bit odd.

Jon also raises a different-than-usual objection to the words "under God".

Surely everything in the universe is under God, and therefore our nation being under him should merit no specific mention. I learned later that the "under God" line was just a late-arriving tin-eared attempt to hurl monotheistic religiosity into the Pledge, something that its original author, Francis Bellamy, had not thought necessary. Bellamy was a Baptist minister.

Jon also discusses other flag references.

The other obvious symbol of patriotism is the national anthem, which is also very heavily invested in the flag. (Not all national anthems are so flag-heavy.) The national anthem is another thing I learned by rote, and I really was clueless about what it meant for a long time. Turned out, it meant: "Rejoice! Fort McHenry has stood stalwart against the vile British jackboot!" Darned odd when you think about it.

My biggest problem with The Star-Spangled Banner (Spangled? When and how else have you ever heard that word used?) has always been musical. It's hard to sing, and it's truly awful when not done well. Still....

I like the national anthem better than the dreary "God Bless America" - and there's God again, looking down from his heavenly throne, from which he is supposed to both stand beside us and guide us. Well, he's God; he can do that.

I think "America the Beautiful" has better lyrics overall, with references to the country itself rather than to one specific event, although God makes an early appearance in that song as well. You need to get to the fourth verse (yes, there are four) of The Star-Spangled Banner before God shows up.

Perhaps it would be fun to have a contest to write a new national anthem, just to see what people could create. Handle it like American Idol, with regional applications and audience voting. I know the odds are pretty good that it would turn to garbage, and that actually getting a new song approved would likely never happen. (What exactly would the process be? Congressional approval? Something similar to that for Constitutional amendments? The mind boggles.) But it could be entertaining.

Dale, Doug and Jon

2011-02-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

At last, a little time to check in on some friends.

I'm sorry to see that Dale at Faith In Honest Doubt is facing the ax. I've been there, and it's tough to put a good spin on the anxiety, the way life gets put on hold. It's easy to say that he'll come through eventually one way or another, but it's best for eventually to be as soon as possible.

Doug Wiken, meanwhile, had a more trivial but quite annoying run-in with Tele-Check. I find his suggestion that this sort of thing might be part of an intentional ruse to ward off checks somewhat plausible. I always find it interesting that many businesses either refuse to take checks or require ID just short of DNA to take one, while they unquestioningly honor a debit card that gets its money from the same account, often without so much as a signature much less any ID. Doug can bring this up during his Presidential campaign, should he decide to run.

Jon Carroll, as usual, makes a statement to which I can relate.

I hate to be right. Well, that's not true; I love to be right. But I hate when the thing I'm right about amounts to a net loss to the public good.

As a fairly consistent pessimist, I can sympathize with that sentiment. One hates to see bad things happen, even if you saw them coming. On the other hand, if things end up turning out better than expected, it takes the edge off being wrong.

Jon also dreams.

I wish I could drive a car the way a highway patrolman does. He's clearly had training. He clearly has a lot of muscle under the hood. Best of all, there's no highway patrol to worry about. Dive for an exit from three lanes over? Go right ahead; no one is going to report you. Drive in the breakdown lane? Go right ahead. Those cars can jump and swivel, striking fear into the hearts of malefactors.

I don't know about California, but here in South Dakota Jon isn't entirely correct about no one to report him, especially in the age of cell phones. If a Highway Patrolman is driving aggressively he'd better have a reason, because someone will call and complain, and contrary to the prevailing cynicism about sweeping such things under the rug, I can say that they take complaints seriously.

Colonial Rift

2011-02-14T05:45:00.000-08:00

It seems sectarian tension can develop anywhere.

A judge's ruling to dissolve a Brown County Hutterite colony and sell its assets is being appealed to the state Supreme Court. In November, Judge Jack Von Wald ordered the colony's corporation dissolved with the assets to be sold and distributed to members. During the process, a receiver - Aberdeen attorney Harvey Jewett - has been named to manage Hutterville Colony's financial matters.

Why?

In recent years, Hutterville members have lived together on colony property but have split into two groups that have been bickering. Supporters of Johnny Wipf and followers of George Waldner Sr. differ on which branch of the Hutterite religion the colony should follow. Both groups claimed to be the colony's proper leaders.....Wipf and his supporters asked for the colony to be dissolved. Now, Waldner and his backers are appealing the decision.

I was unaware that there is more than one branch. Googling.... the internet is a wonderful thing.

It's allegedly gotten ugly.

Von Wald ruled that the colony's directors were deadlocked and that there was a nearly even split among colony members as to whom they support. Von Wald also ruled that there have been oppressive acts that include Waldner's followers locking gas tanks and buildings that house firefighting equipment to restrict access by Wipf and his backers....Rochelle Sweetman, an attorney representing Wipf's supporters, said during a brief court hearing conducted by telephone Wednesday that the appeal is an attempt by Waldner's group to remain in power and control the colony's $55 million in assets. She said Wipf and his backers are still being denied financial support, including payment of medical bills.

The article notes that they could still patch things up, but....

During the trial, Waldner's attorney had argued that Wipf's group could not be in control of the colony because they had been excommunicated.

That's not a good sign.

Doing It Again

2011-01-31T08:32:00.000-08:00

Time to squeeze in one last post this month, although as I look back a lot of this month has consisted of repetitions of various events. For example, as I write this we are getting more snow, the removal or at least organizing of which is starting to become a problem. At least we had a few days of relative warmth which melted some of the previous accumulation.

The news also seems a bit repetitive. Headline News is breathlessly hashing over Charlie Sheen's latest troubles, which are just his old troubles, and discussing whether CBS can/should fire him from Two and a Half Men. I tend to think CBS will keep him around, if only because the show is still a success. The fact that his character on the show is only about two steps behind his real life might also actually help him keep his job. It's not like he's ever been a role model on there.

I find the Egyptian turmoil a bit familiar as well, perhaps because it's the Middle East. Let's not forget that Mobarak came to power after Anwar El-Sadat was assassinated for talking peace. It also reminds me of some of our Cold War follies, when U.S. support of some pretty unsavory characters because they were anti-Communist blew up in our faces. I did find it interesting that an eyewitness from South Dakota who was still there said that that most of the protests were in a small area in Cairo, and that no one had threatened them.

One personal event was also a sequel. My wife got to take another ambulance to Sioux Falls after the local hospital spent two days not figuring out what was causing her chest pain. The local ambulance service decided the roads were too bad for a non-emergency transport and refused to take her, so an ambulance from the Sioux Falls area (Brandon, to be specific) came and got her, which delayed her arrival by about 5 hours. On a positive note, this time an actual diagnosis (stable angina) with a strategy for treatment was reached. In my wife's case, while the affected blood vessels are too small for the standard installation of stints, her condition is treatable with medication and cardiac therapy. They also found that a blockage which had been discovered last time is now gone, which vindicates her previous regimen and makes the idea of paying the upcoming bills a bit more palatable.

Even our income tax refund was partially a repeat, in that we always designate part of it for the same thing; payment of property taxes. (I think of this bit of irony every time I see debates over tax cuts/increases; you always end up paying someone.) This year we had enough left over to buy a much-needed new bed. It had been many moons since I shopped for one, and I was surprised to see how much thicker mattresses had gotten; our sheets barely fit the new bed despite it being the same size as the old one. Overall, though, it has been a vast upgrade, as well as an opportunity for me to dispose of another remnant of my previous marriage.

One item that was new; Grandbaby had her first early childhood screening. This was partially motivated by concern over an allegedly developing lisp, which I had never seen and was attributing to her often-displayed and apparently congenital (although I am frequently blamed for this despite the lack of a genetic connection) Stink Pot Syndrome; she was probably just goofing around to see how it sounded. The testers also found no evidence of any speech impediment. In fact they were quite impressed with her abilities in that area, especially her use of relatively complete sentences, which they said was well above her age. She scored well in almost all the tests, the exception being cognitive skills, which was mostly attributable to her unwillingness to participate in a drawing test, probably because she didn't like having to draw on the same paper as the tester (see above Stink Pot Syndrome).

On that good note it's on to February. Hopefully if this repetitiveness continues there will be more positive.

Waves,Vibrations and Minding My Own Business

2011-01-18T08:40:00.000-08:00

A few random thoughts while basking in the afterglow of successfully completing my tax return...

Every time I hear Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves on one of the classic rock radio stations (we have 3 FM stations here, two of which are classic rock) I can't help but think about the the pure coincidences of life (unless you think that whoever named the hurricane did so with the band in mind) and the effects they can have. I'm guessing that song still isn't on play lists in Louisiana and Mississippi.

The ad for the oscillating workout weight reminds me of the old machines that used a vibrating belt to supposedly jiggle the weight off while the person stood there. I also have to believe that sex toy technology is related to it somehow.

Speaking of ads and sex toys, there's something slightly amusing about the the way the Trojan TV commercial for vibrators describes the product almost to the point of an actual demonstration, then promises discreet delivery.

I've been avoiding most of the post-Tuscon-shooting publicity because it makes me a bit uncomfortable. The lack of any direct personal connection makes following that too closely seem a bit too voyeuristic for my taste. The people involved have enough on their minds without strangers like me poking in, even if only electronically.

eBay, Space Bags and Bad TV

2011-01-11T10:38:00.000-08:00

This is coming to you via a newly upgraded computer, now with eight times the memory! The old routine of starting the computer, taking a shower, eating lunch, then coming back to see if it has finished booting up is no more. The upgrade came courtesy of an eBay dealer my brother (an eBay veteran) says is reputable. Naturally, I let my brother do the purchasing; I just installed the memory, which itself was something of a novelty for me. I hadn't opened up a PC with serious intent in a long time, so I printed off instructions, which showed me how much easier making such modifications has become. It took longer to clean out the dust than to install the memory.

Speaking of eBay, its mention always reminds me of an old friend, now deceased, who loved it. He also liked to drink, which occasionally resulted in some purchases later regretted. However his frugality always overcame the booze, so the amount spent was never large. But I bet his relatives were astounded when they cleaned out his house after his death.

Whenever I see the TV ad for Space Bags, with the opening line about having too much stuff and not enough space, I always think (and sadly sometimes say out loud), "get rid of some of the stuff!" This is not a knock on the product. My second wife bought some, and although - like most products - the process isn't as smooth or easy as advertised, they do basically work. I just think the thought process involved could be put to better use. If the item in question has sunk in usefulness to the point that you are considering putting it into vacuum storage, perhaps you should sell or give it to someone else.

As I clicked past a reality show (I couldn't tell you which one) the other day, I thought of something I saw on the TCM series Moguls and Movie Stars. In the early days of movies the scripts were rudimentary, only setting up a general story line, with sections often saying no more than, "Keaton (or whoever) improvises for five minutes". This is basically what reality show producers do now, provide a basic framework and tell the participants to just go to it. The big difference is instead of seasoned performers like Buster Keaton with proven ability to entertain, we get people off the street, resulting in... well, you've seen it.

Unexpected, Good and Bad

2011-01-04T10:22:00.000-08:00

I've been doing something unusual, at least for me; pondering the recently past holiday season. Normally I like to move on quickly, with a sigh of relief that I can do so. Due to family complications, some past holiday seasons were strung out interminably, with gatherings from just after Thanksgiving to early February, which has made the past few relatively simple years that much more enjoyable. But this past season has hung on in the mind a bit.

It started off fairly straightforward. My family had been able to set up a gathering on December 26 at my brother's house, which wouldn't even require rearranging my work schedule. Even better, everyone would be there, so there wouldn't be that lingering get-someone-their-gifts-later hangover. My wife had set up two suppers for our kids and grandkids at our house; one on the 24th and one on the 25th, with only the former involving gift opening. I wasn't sure why we had a pair of suppers, but I had pretty much handed everything over to my wife (several times I looked at the stack of presents under our tree and realized I had no idea what they were or who was getting them) so I had no right to ask too many questions. I was just happy everything was under control.

Then on the evening of the 23rd My wife's Grandmother died. It wasn't out of the blue, since she was 95 and her health had recently been failing dramatically, but the speed of her downturn (until less than month before her death she had not only been living in her own apartment but taking care of her polio-crippled son) did catch people off-guard. As the obituary stated with the understatement common to such writings, this affected a lot of people in a lot of places. It also added another large amount of planning of a very different sort to the holiday mix. The end result: holiday gatherings on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, a funeral on Monday, and the need to take a day off on Tuesday to put life back together.

I must say that there were few problems; all the events went off with few hitches. But the overall atmosphere of the season took a decided turn. Not just the obvious damper a death puts on everything, but also a slight change in the other direction. The funeral was held at a Catholic church still decorated for Christmas which, along with the presence of a large number of small children who didn't really know the deceased and who still had Christmas on their minds, seemed to lighten the overall mood. The speed with which everything happened and the fact that the funeral was added into an already hectic time also prevented feelings from sinking too low for too long.

I sense that it led to a bit of a hangover, though (the fact that I'm typing this now is a good indicator). The putting in order of various death-related personal affairs was held up by the holidays, and there's a certain "what just happened?" feel. Just last night Grandbaby asked about going to see "Grandma Aggie and the birds", the latter being birds that the nursing home keeps and I suspect her main focus, but nevertheless a reminder of all that had gone on.

After finally being able to take the time to reflect, I have to say the season went just about completely unexpectedly. There were unexpected events, with effects that weren't exactly what would be expected from such events. About the only predictable outcome was my relief that it's over.

To Playoff, or Not Playoff

2011-01-01T15:42:00.000-08:00

As John Lennon said, another year over and a new one just begun. I could have gotten by without snow up to my rear, but as the saying goes, it's that time of year.

Sifting through the various college football bowl games naturally brings to mind the idea of a playoff for top-tier teams. Many have said much about this, and a few like Mark Cuban have backed the idea with cash, so I may as well chime in, although even as I type this I realize that the more I think about it the less I care. But what is blogging for if not spouting off about subjects like this?

The most obvious idea is something similar to what is done in the other divisions; a straightforward playoff bracket. I think 8 teams would be sufficient, and they could use the BCS rankings to determine who gets in. There would still be plenty of argument about that last spot, but I think most people would agree that one of those 8 who beat 3 others in 2 weeks would be deserving of the championship trophy. This could be done in the same time frame as the others, early December. This would allow the bowls to continue to do their thing and create the possibility of intriguing match ups, such as a championship rematch or a chance for a team that thought it got hosed out of the playoff to prove it by beating the champs or another playoff team.

A variation on this would use the existing bowls. Again, 8 teams, 7 games, two weeks. This would allow more bowl games to have real meaning, as opposed to now where only one game has the championship aura. It would also have a trickle-down effect on the other bowl games, since only 8 teams instead of 14 would occupy the top 7 bowl games, leaving better teams for the others. It could still be done in the current bowl season.

Again, the more I ponder this the harder it is to get really excited. The existence of a Division 1-A football playoff system really isn't that important. Indeed, it could be argued that the absence of a playoff lowers the stakes and keeps the game in something closer to a proper perspective, although anyone who follows the game knows that isn't actually the case. I haven't heard anything to indicate that any real change is in order, so I guess the best thing to do is just enjoy the games for they are and not worry about it.

Translation Troubles

2010-12-13T10:56:00.000-08:00

As usual, I had further thoughts about something after I posted, in this case the notion that live-action movies based on comics tend to come off looking more cartoonish that the cartoon. I first said this...

Perhaps the producers equated cartoons with childish silliness, and felt they must incorporate that into the movie, resulting in an over-the-top feel that is an insult to the creativity of the makers of the original material who often tried to avoid doing such things in order to aim for a wide audience.

Later on, a more likely possibility occurred to me: it may be simply a matter of incompatibility. Certain ideas only work in cartoon form, with the attendant natural unreality. Removing that by translating it into live-action form makes the entire plot look silly. The Grinch is a cartoon character living in a cartoon world in which he is just another creature and can go about his business. Putting him into a real-world context turns him into a freak and a distraction from the plot.

The Flintstones is another example. Imagine trying to sell the live-action concept to a studio without the crutch of the successful cartoon - "It's The Honeymooners, but as cavemen, in a Stone Age version of suburban life, with primitive takes on modern conveniences." Most of the response would concern your ability to manage your own affairs. That plot requires the suspension of belief that cames with animation. Without it, you get John Goodman and Rick Moranis running around in fake fur.

Of course some cartoons can translate fairly well, such as Superman, Batman and other characters that are human-based. The key is to make sure the entire world in which the character exists is translated properly. Otherwise you end up with a movie-length equivalent of the brief scene from a past Simpsons Halloween special in which a 3-D Homer is walking down a city street being stared at by everyone.

Scrooge Done Right

2010-12-12T14:18:00.000-08:00

Busy,busy,busy....or perhaps busy, busy, lazy is more accurate. When I have had the time to attend to this humble blog, I haven't had the energy. 'Tis the season for for stress and lethargy. I have long shared Charlie Brown's feelings about this time of year as expressed in A Charlie Brown Christmas, one of the better holiday specials ever made, although it's expression of the commercialization of Christmas is increasingly looking like quaint understatement compared to current reality. If those specials were done today the commercialization theme would be part of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving; Peppermint Patty would be dragging Charlie out at midnight to go shopping.

Speaking of holiday specials, a friend and I were discussing the plethora of viewing options, and she said she avoids almost all of them, as most are basically the same - sappy domestic distress solved by holiday-inspired reconciliation. I tend to limit myself to a few classics, such as the aforementioned Charlie Brown and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon, not the Jim Carrey movie).

That last sentence forces me to digress. Why is it that so many live-actor movies based on cartoons/comics seem more cartoonish than their source material? Perhaps the producers equated cartoons with childish silliness, and felt they must incorporate that into the movie, resulting in an over-the-top feel that is an insult to the creativity of the makers of the original material who often tried to avoid doing such things in order to aim for a wide audience.

I have also watched many versions of A Christmas Carol. (Is there a more frequently redone story? I see Carrey is appearing in one just out now.). Here again I prefer the classic story, not the various modern adaptations. George C. Scott did a nice job, and the musical version with Albert Finney works surprisingly well, which is a tribute to the then 34yo Finney's acting skill. Mickey's Christmas Carol also has it's clever moments for a light Disney version.

But the two versions I enjoy the most both star the same person: Alastair Sim. His 1951 performance captures the combination of hard edge and pathos that makes up Scrooge, and in 1971 he partially reprised the role as Scrooge's voice in an Academy Award winning cartoon that, remarkably, I saw shortly after it came out as part of a special movie day at the Legion hall in my hometown, and can't recall having seen anywhere since until the above friend did a search and found it at Google video.

I watched it again and was glad to see it still held up after 39 years, although with Sim involved and the great Chuck Jones as executive producer I shouldn't have been surprised. The animation has a sparse colored-pencil look that distinguishes it from the more typical heavily-colored animations, and parts of it have an intensity that other versions lack. I had recalled being particularly struck by Marley and the two children Ignorance and Want at my first viewing, and watching it again did nothing to dispel that.

It was made for TV and is less than 30 min long, so it lacks certain elements seen in movie-length versions, but it gets the story across quite well. I think some TV network should do what it takes to get this on in place of some of the holiday dreck. For that matter,TBS likes to run the Grinch cartoon multiple times during the holiday season. I like the Grinch, but I wouldn't mind if they replaced one or two of those with this.

Just Don't Do It

2010-11-27T14:14:00.000-08:00

Once again, James Lileks says it.

Also grateful I’m not flying this weekend, but I would not refuse the scanners. This I do not understand. If everyone was having their groinal departments mauled I would be annoyed, but if you only get the blue-glove love after you’ve turned down the scanners, well, go through the scanners. Underlying the anger – of course – is the idea that everyone has to suffer indignities and suspicion because the TSA refuses to consider some people more likely to kaboom a Boeing than others. Add to that the suspicion that so much of the security check-through is just make-believe, and you have people who view the process of flying with fury and dread – the former because it TAKES SO FARGIN’ LONG, and the latter because you don’t think it works.

From what I've seen, I think that, like many "stories", this one said more about the media herd instinct than anything else. Somehow a reporter somewhere picked up on some one's whining, and through the magic of modern communication, it became something worth reporting on national news, despite the fact that they often mentioned in those reports that there really wasn't anything to it.

This makes me sympathize with the editor of Charles Kane's Inquirer when he said in response to Kane asking about a questionable "murder" story that there wasn't any proof, and they don't report that type of thing. Perhaps it wouldn't be bad to bring back a bit of that editorial discretion.

Urine In, Tobacco Out

2010-11-27T13:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know why things like this come to me. I seem capable of developing trains of thought usually only made possible by ingesting chemicals.

Last week I was given the task of delivering a large jug containing urine (not mine) collected over 24 hours to a local clinic to be used for some sort of testing. I had been told that since the container had a properly coded label and accompanying paperwork I would merely have to drop it off with a certain nurse. Instead I got to sit for 20 minutes waiting for a lab tech to come out, and even then I couldn't give it to her; I had to carry it into the lab myself and put it on a table. The joys of bureaucracy.

Anyway....as I sat waiting and contemplating the turns my life takes, I thought about a man who was standing outside smoking a cigarette as I came into the building. It occurred to me that, under recently enacted state law supported by public referendum, if the two of us were to go to almost any business open to the public, I and my cargo could go right in, probably without question, while he would have to dispose of his tobacco before being granted entry.

I'm not sure there's an actual point to this, other than to provide another indication of why idle thinking often gets me into trouble.

We've Grown Apart

2010-11-22T11:29:00.000-08:00

In his latest blog post, James Lileks makes a reference to something I had not known: he is writing for National Review Online. I haven't been to that website for a long time, and I still don't plan on going back. Something about it makes me itch. I will continue to visit his personal site and read his Star-Tribune column, though, because I like his style and because he rarely mentions politics in those.

That revelation,and my reaction, did bring something about me to mind that I hadn't given much thought. I try to wander a wide spectrum of the web, but my blog's list of sites does have a slightly liberal lean to it. I only consider South Dakota War College, Andrew Sullivan and perhaps Megan McCardle conservative. I'm not really sure how that has come to be, since I've always had a hardheaded, unromantic view of life that would seem more in keeping with conservative traditions. I was raised a Missouri Synod Lutheran, and I went to an engineering college, where a roommate described me as very conservative. I'm even still registered as a Republican, although that's more a function of sloth and a general indifference to party politics that has kept me from changing something I did 30 years ago, when Ronald Reagan was just taking office and billion-dollar federal deficits were horrifying.

It may simply be a matter of taste. Internet exploration is a strictly hobby for me. I don't intentionally seek out subjects and sites with a certain ideology in mind; I simply seek entertainment and compelling thoughts. It just happens that the people I have found enjoyable tend to be on the left side of the the political spectrum, which is hardly surprising in a way, since the people who make a living in entertainment tend to frequent that side.

The more I think about it, though, the more I think it's a result of a parting of ways since I filed that party registration. The conservative movement has gotten more and more reactionary, at least to me. I recall Larry Pressler saying more or less the same thing two years ago when he said he voted for Obama - the Republican Party he once knew is gone. I can't say I've ever been a big supporter of any party or ideology, but it would seem that either my philosophical boat has drifted left, the political waters have flowed further right, or both. I'm inclined to think it's the last one.

The First Time

2010-11-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

As I clicked by the latest season of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team on CMT, it occurred to me that, not surprisingly, this season looks pretty much like the others. They have their formula, and they're sticking to it. Besides, the testing has to stay pretty much the same as long as the desired results stay the same. Speaking of those desired results, I realized that what they're trying to create with all the various little skills they test for and/or teach (formal dinner etiquette, eloquence, being a good party guest and host) isn't just a cheerleader, but an American Geisha.

No big election surprises. Some people I know were a bit surprised that Kristi Noem beat Stephanie Herseth-Sandlin, but being a Democrat here means fighting uphill at the best of times, and these are far from the best. One interesting outcome is that Republicans have unassailable majorities in both houses on the legislature to go with the Governor's office, which means they can pretty much do what they want, but they also don't have anyone else to blame, a fact several legislators acknowledged after the election.

One election-related item did escape my attention until right after my previous post; this was the first election for which my daughter was eligible to vote. She took quite a while to cast her ballot, and told me later that she left a few blank because she really had no idea what/who to pick. I told her that's OK; I often feel that too many elections are decided by people who have no clue but think they have to choose something. Ideally, of course, everyone would carefully research the candidates and issues. But if you don't know what you want, let the people who do know (or least think they do) decide. It's at least honest.

Get a Sugar Buzz and Vote

2010-11-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

November....time to be sure the winter utensils are handy, because it's a-comin'. The weather may still be fairly decent, but it's a rearguard action. Best get the grill into the shed before it gets buried in snow.

We didn't get a single non-family trick-or-treater this Halloween, which means I get to finish off the leftover candy. I know what you're thinking, and I did actually have the porch light on to signal availability. (Hmmm....something about that seems a bit off-color.) Our court just doesn't have many kids, and it's so easy to load up at the various sugarfests put on by local organizations. (Including churches, which intrigues me. I know that the original meaning of Halloween has dissolved, but the idea of churches joining in somehow doesn't seem right.) Add in the every one's-a-potential-molester paranoia all too prevalent these days, and the old door-to-door tradition seems doomed.

I noticed that Wal-Mart this year had far more candy types and bag sizes than ever before, as well as a greater variety of Halloween-themed items. Lights and display items in particular have grown massively over the last few years, ever since someone who makes Christmas lights figured out that putting a plastic pumpkin or skull over the bulbs opened up a new market. At least it seemed to keep the Christmas displays in the back rooms a little longer, which gets kudos from me.

Now to the next event, the one hyped longer and louder than Christmas and the passing of which is greeted with even greater relief by most people....Election Day. It says a lot about this state that the incumbent Republican Senator is running unopposed and the Democratic incumbent House member is in a tight race with someone I had never heard of before she ran for office. The Republican Lt. Governor also seems to be cruising to the Governor's office, continuing a tradition since 1978.

There also a number of interesting propositions on the ballot, such as the legalization of medical marijuana (not happening, according to what I've seen. It's a sign of the relative ease with which something can get put to a public vote here that this is even on the ballot.) and expansion of the ban on smoking (apparently going to pass).

I'll be picking up the daughter after work and going to vote. As Jon Carroll says....

If you stay home and mutter that the Democrats and the Republicans are the same and they're all crooks paid off by special interests and things are so bad they can't get any worse, don't worry: They can get worse.

Maybe if you vote, they'll get less worse.

Old News

2010-10-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

A couple of local "news" stories have caught my eye. First, a KELO/Argus-Leader poll that says Obama has a 53% unfavorable rating in South Dakota. This would seem to be bad, but a look back at the 2008 election results shows that 55.3% of South Dakota voters did not vote for Obama. In other words, whatever beating he may be taking around the country, Obama is pretty much holding steady here. Unfortunately for him, it's a steady disapproval.

Then, there's this, which I hadn't heard about in a long time.

Tribal leaders in South Dakota, Nebraska and Montana continue to work on a proposal to get back part of their sacred Black Hills, convinced that President Obama is willing to discuss it with them.

Ultimately, they want to present a proposal to the president about the potential return of some of their Black Hills - a possibility that candidate Obama fueled during a campaign stop in Sioux Falls.

The current obstacle is actually deciding what they want.

The real stumbling block might be the unified voice. Along with the Sioux Nation tribes, the Great Plains Tribal Chairman's Association is trying to blend in varying treaty councils and other tribal entities that don't recognize the authority of the existing tribal governments formed under the Indian Reorganization Act.

Personally, I think getting that done won't be much easier than negotiating Middle East peace. I also can't see it doing any better in Congress than it ever has, especially if Republicans get back some control, and it's hard to imagine Obama using any political capital fighting for it when he has so many other problems, particularly when the South Dakota members of Congress don't want to touch it. On the other hand, as those poll results show, Obama doesn't have anything to lose here by listening.

Dustin and Lepers

2010-10-22T09:48:00.001-07:00

I hadn't been to James Lileks' site for a while, so I took a quick cruise down the blog page. It didn't take too long to find something I had long thought.

I’d been watching “The Graduate,” but it annoys me; never did, and really cannot now, identify with Dustin Hoffman. Plus, “Plastics” is excellent career advice, at least at the time.

I think of Hoffman's character as a spoiled innocent, someone who had gone through the motions, who had let others make decisions about his life without really thinking, who then proceeded to demonstrate why that may not have been a bad thing. On the other hand, the "OK you idiot, you've spent most of the movie thinking with body parts not designed for that purpose; now what?" ending just about saves the movie by hinting that somehow he's going to pay for this.

Then there's this....

Also, there’s the Apple iBookstore, which is like a combination of Fort Knox and a nudist leper colony: you can’t figure out how to get in, and you’re pretty sure you don’t want to anyway.

I have no opinion about the Apple iBookstore. I just like that description.

Mouse in the House, Among Other Things

2010-10-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

A minor crisis recently developed in the household; the wife discovered mouse droppings under the kitchen sink. Her slightly disturbingly thorough follow-up seemed to indicate that it was isolated to that location and that it was a recent occurrence. We purchased mouse traps (the old-fashioned type, thank you; it just wouldn’t be the same without the threat of snapping one on your fingers, or in my wife’s case, on her stomach) and poison and steel wool for sealing the possible entrances, and emptied and washed out the area, including the drawers.

I must note that all of this activity was at her command, simply because I have had almost no experience with this. I do not recall ever having to deal with a rodent invasion of any place I have lived as an adult, perhaps because I haven’t lived anywhere long enough for the cracks and crevasses necessary for their entrance to develop. It’s also possible that they were there and I was blissfully ignorant, since I had to take her word that what she found was in fact mouse feces, even after I saw it for myself; it looked like dirt to me.

She was proven correct that very night, as one of the traps – baited with peanut butter - snagged a little critter. I was given the task of disposing of the carcass. I first considered just throwing it into a nearby ravine so something could eat it, but since there were signs it had partaken of the D-Con before it stuck its nose into the trap, I decided to put it in a plastic bag and send it out with the trash. We are hoping that this was the only one, and that our preventative measures have put an end to further encroachment, but the traps are still set.

Emptying the drawers reminded me of something slightly unusual about my life. When I moved to Vermillion from Rapid City in 1994, I was able to use my mobile home (not as mobile as they used to be, but still equipped with the necessary hardware) as a shipping container, which eliminated a lot of the sorting and packing normally associated with moving. When I moved up to a larger mobile home, it was just behind and to the left of my old one, so a lot of stuff I could just grab and haul. Only the larger furniture required assistance. The move to Pierre was essentially a repeat of the the move to Vermillion – I even used the same mover to tow the house. The result of that convenience, and the fact that I kept the house after my two divorces, is that a lot of things that would probably have been thrown out had I had to pack them got to come along, and many of the smaller ones ended up in these drawers.

There were a number of kitchen utensils I didn’t know I owned, and that my wife had never seen. A couple of cheese cutters, two paring knives that looked as if they would be prime tetanus carriers, and various other kitchen tools that I had never used. Old rolls of tape, small candles, pens and pencils, batteries of unknown vintage, various pieces of household hardware, and an ancient pocket knife also took up space along with roughly 200 twist ties that came with long-gone garbage bags.

I threw away quite a few of these things. Others I relocated to the appropriate storage area. But many of the items went right back into the same drawer, some because they actually belong there, others based on the old that-may-come-in-handy excuse that clogs up space worldwide. I figure I need to leave something behind for my family to throw away after I die, assuming they doesn’t just leave the place “as is”, which would be in keeping with family tradition.

Wide World

2010-10-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

Geez, it seems like last week that I was noting that August is almost over. September just seemed to disappear without much of a trace. Nothing terribly noteworthy, good or bad, happened in my life to break up the passage of time. As usual, I’m not sure what to make of that. Is it a sign of a smooth, idyllic life, or a numbing treadmill of an existence? The former certainly doesn’t fit my situation, and I don’t think I’ve sunk into the latter. Perhaps something in between; a smooth treadmill with entertainment, room for the spouse and occasional stops for a nice meal.

It is a good time of year for fans of major sports. Almost all of them are in action to some degree.

I tend to prefer the NFL to college football, but I’ve seen some fairly entertaining college games this year. Of course shortly that will all get squished by the BCS into a top-two-and-everyone- else slog that loses me before the regular season is over. At least the other college divisions can provide some meaningful late-season games – and actual playoffs.

In the past I’ve regarded any attempt to judge the quality of an NFL team as folly until at least four games have been played. (Speaking of folly, some of the first-week games that left me wondering just what the teams actually did during the numerous off-season workouts and the interminable preseason.) This season has been no different; if anything, such analysis is still looking pointless. As Peter King said, picking the order of the top teams could be done with darts. It’s probably best to wait until the halfway point before trying to discern any patterns, and I’m not certain anything will have developed even then, at least at the top. The bottom seems to be settling in, although even there things are far from cut-and-dried.

Perhaps the NFL will be sorted out by the time baseball finishes its just-starting playoffs. This is Twins country, and my wife and a couple of co-workers are fans, now no doubt joined by many others from the anyone-but-the-Yankees group. I personally have no allegiances, but I do like to see a team from outside the usual suspects contend once in a while, just to force the broadcasters to learn a few new names.

I also see the NHL is starting its regular season shortly. Good for them. I don’t know why, considering my proximity to hockey hotbed Minnesota, but I’ve never been interested. When it comes to ice-related activities, I would rather use it to cool a drink while I watch curling.

With all that going on, sports gasbags are talking about NBA pre-season games, of all things. I know the league has its publicity machine cranked up around the renovated Miami Heat, but in the most predictable of the major professional sports, where the contenders spend most of the season just trying to stay healthy, these games are rivaled only by the major political party conventions as useless gatherings. I’ll start paying attention when/if it gets interesting, which coincidentally is about the time the NFL finishes.

Flashbacks

2010-09-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

I guess it's a sign that I've been doing this a while; I'm starting to come across things that remind me of past blog posts. First, this from James Lileks, who recently did something that I did and mentioned here a few months ago. Naturally, he is more eloquent.

It’s the Parade of Homes, if you can describe driving all over hell and back to look at large, stationary objects. If they all floated past down the street with the occasional elephant, that would be different. But no. You go somewhere, take off your shoes, wander around and think “relative to these people, I have failed.” All the things one would like in life – incredible views, big living rooms with comfortable appointments, perfect offices, tubs built for a sumo wrestler – here they are, and this is as close as you’ll get, pal.

Then the other day a co-worker asked me how I thought Obama was doing in a tone that suggested (a) that she is not an Obama supporter and (b) she thought that I am, as opposed to my actual stance since before the election, which has been that competence was badly needed in the office after 8 years of buffoonery, and that only an Obama victory would guarantee the necessary housecleaning. I told her that I have never had terribly high expectations for his administration. When he took office Obama was handed a burning bag of gasoline-soaked manure. Stomping on it would only do so much; he would have to let it burn out and accept the fact that he was going to smell bad in the process. I also said that I wondered if a small part of John McCain is glad he lost.

This conversation brought back a memory of some posts back in September 2008. One was an offshoot of my thoughts on political ads of 1976.

.....when I remember what the country was like at the time, I can't help but think that whoever won that election was probably screwed. When Harold Macmillan was asked what represented the greatest challenge for a statesman, he replied "Events, my dear boy, events." Events of the time were overtaking the ability of just about anyone to deal with them. They were going to have to run their course, and the President overseeing it was going to take a beating. Part of me wonders if that's going to be the case in 2008.

Then a few days later....

In a post last Sunday I mentioned the possibility that the next President is in for trouble. Gerard Baker agrees.

When the votes are counted his people might ruefully conclude that the victor is not Barack Obama or John McCain. The real winner will be Hillary Clinton, or Mitt Romney, or Mike Huckabee, or some now happily anonymous figure whose star will rise in the next four turbulent years.

2008 may be the best year there has been to lose an election.

I wonder if Herbert Hoover - at one time one of the most admired men in American history - ever wished he had lost in 1928?

The short answer I should have given my colleague was, "So far, sadly, about as well as I expected."

Frank, Glenn, John and Ludwig

2010-09-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

VH1 recently put together another of their "list shows", this one being "Top 100 Artists of All Time". That rather ambiguous title leaves a lot of room for interpretation, although a quick glance at the top 5 pretty well clarifies how the participants defined it.

The Beatles
Michael Jackson
Bob Dylan
Led Zeppelin
The Rolling Stones

Overall, it's mostly pop/rock/rap performers who were big in America in the last 60 years. It seems to me that many of the people polled confused "great" with "people who really influenced me personally". I also get the impression not many music historians were included in the poll. Of course, the main purpose of these lists - besides giving VH1 a reason to exist - is to stimulate argument, and this one has done it.

As I scanned the list, I thought of a few people I thought deserved places, based on my own interpretation of who should be on it.

- Frank Sinatra. His absence surprised me a bit, since quite a few of the people interviewed in the show have expressed admiration for him in the past. He may have been the first big teen idol. The girls who screamed for Elvis got the idea from the bobby soxers who screamed for Frank 15 years earlier. His overall image became part of American culture, and he and the Rat Pack gave Las Vegas the cache that helped make it what it is. It's also important to remember that he really could sing, especially in that bobby soxer era before he hurt his vocal cords. And to expand the term "artist" a bit, I don't see anyone else on that list with an acting Oscar.

- Glenn Miller. A recent classic Casey Kasem broadcast provided a bit of trivia. Billboard started publishing its charts in 1940. In the first 3 years of that chart, the Glenn Miller Orchestra had 36 top-10 songs. No one else has had so much chart success in such a short time. As Casey noted, had the charts been in existence sooner, and had Miller not disappeared in 1944 in a presumed plane crash in the English Channel, it would have been greater. In The Mood might be the biggest song of the Big Band era, and one of the greatest American songs of any type. Grandbaby likes to shake her rump to it.

- John Philip Sousa. 100 years ago, he was as big as anyone has ever been. He wrote official songs for the Army and Marines, as well as several universities. His work is used in the credits of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Almost every marching band in a parade will at some point play something he wrote. The Stars and Stripes Forever could join In The Mood on that list of great American songs.

I could add others as well. Beethoven immediately comes to mind, based on the presence of his work in modern culture (the Ode To Joy and the Fifth Symphony are both regularly used in various forms and venues). A good case could also be made for the Carter Family, given their influence on many forms of American music. Others, I'm sure, could add to the list. Expanding the inputs worldwide would provide yet more nominations, and material for bloggers like me, who can always use it.

Cleaning

2010-09-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

Ah, a day off with little to do, other than laundry and taking the wife out for supper for her birthday. No plans to attend any Koran (Quran?) burnings this weekend, if any such thing is happening around here. (I don't think you could find enough Korans in this town to make a decent fire; you would have to import them.) I assume I'm not the only one who thinks of that as another adult equivalent of Grandbaby's temper tantrums. Unfortunately it seems to be having the desired effect of getting attention, and no doubt (he says cynically) raising money.

What I really need to do is go through my list of website links. I have been embarrassed in the past to check a listed blog and find that it had died months before. I noticed the other day that Blog Net News disappeared. 2 Blowhards...done back in July! One of its creators, Ray Sawhill, has his own site. It looks interesting, so I'll give it a try. I also saw that nothing new has been posted at Incertus since June, but I won't give up on them quite yet. As I recall ,Brian and Amy are teachers, so it could be a summer break. I added Calculated Risk because I saw it recommended by commenters at Balloon Juice, and I've had good luck with those.

OK, down the list. Amused Cynicism....I never seem to get there, but I like the Englishness of it, so it may as well stay. Andrew Sullivan...again, I don't get there as often as I would like, but I tend to get caught up when I do. As for Arts and Letters Daily, it's still the same. I could probably get by with just it and perhaps two or three other sites. Balloon Juice and Crooked Timber are both fine. Dakota Today....I don't have enough South Dakota sites, and I like Doug Wiken.

Dave Barry, still funny. Dale at Faith In Honest Doubt, well...he's one of those two or three other sites I mentioned earlier. An anchor of the list, as is James Lileks. Live News Cameras...a cute idea, but I never use it, so it's gone. As for the rest, all are still worth keeping, at least for anyone who may stumble across my site and want to go somewhere better. Hopefully I can keep them that way.

Trifles

2010-08-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

I’m glad to see Jim Parsons get some much-deserved recognition for his fine performance as Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory. I first put his style into the Leslie Nielsen deadpan-silliness category, but now I’m seeing some John Cleese.

I see ESPN is showing (I almost said broadcasting, but since they’re a cable network that’s not technically true. I know, picky, picky. I’m just an old TV guy at heart.) high school football games, probably because some highly rated recruit plays on one or both of the teams. I sure it makes sense to them, but I find it a bit distasteful. I don’t like the idea of bringing the national spotlight, with its unseemly underbelly, to the local level. A lot of these places take football too seriously as it is; the last thing the kids (and the enabling adults) need is ESPN-level pressure and ego-stroking to distort their perspectives even more.

When I see a large motor home stopped for the night in the Wal-mart parking lot
I can’t help but wonder if it bothers the occupants that, after spending a large sum on such an ultra-luxury conveyance, they have to park it at the home of low prices. It must be noted, however, that most of the campgrounds with hookups here would be a nightmare to navigate, or even get to, in one of those bus-based behemoths. It’s also possible that having spent all their money on the camper they can’t afford to stay at campgrounds all the time. Personally, I can’t imagine owning one of those, mostly because I would be scared to death to drive it. My wife (who has a Class B CDL and has driven school buses in big-city traffic) would have to do the driving while I lounged in the back. Hmmm….

A co-worker and I were discussing a recent rash of cattle getting out onto the roads, when the usual jokes about free meat for the taking segued into a discussion of how we would store and consume it now that our shopping habits are changing due to our empty nests. My wife and I have had to revise how we look at groceries, and it’s taking some getting used to. We frequently have to remind ourselves that foodstuffs aren’t disappearing as quickly as they used to, then rethink the wisdom of buying the family pack of something which may go bad before we finish it. If we do buy in bulk, we have to remember to break it down into packages suitable for two rather than three, four or more. It’s not a bad problem to have, and I have noticed that our grocery bills are declining, at least for our major shopping trips. The smaller trips, usually to assist the new households in the family, seem to be making up the difference, but at least the kids are footing part of the bill now.

I Blog Alone

2010-08-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

Another August almost gone, which means football is on the way. Real football, that is, as opposed to NFL preseason games, which are either dress rehearsals for the players who will make the team or paid fantasy camps for the guys with no chance (and except for the last few spots the team pretty much knows who they will be).

A lot of people in my family have birthdays in August: me (48 creaky years old), my oldest brother (45), his daughter (22...Sigh… I can still vividly recall the time she crawled out of an insufficiently-attached diaper and peed on my living room carpet. Should she ever get married, I can guarantee that tidbit will be mentioned at the reception. It’s an uncle’s duty.), another brother’s wife, my late paternal Grandmother and a few others. Perhaps it’s the fact that the first truly cold weather usually arrives in November. It’s also time for school to start again, getting my wife back to work full time, which not only brings in another paycheck after a lean summer, but allows me to increase my internet time, and thus my blog time.

Why, you may ask, did her presence at home make a difference in my web wandering? We didn’t have to share the computer; her work laptop served her needs, which left the old desktop for me. She knows I do this, so there’s no subterfuge involved, and if I were worried about her seeing something I write then putting it into a publicly available blog would be a bit stupid, wouldn’t it? (Although as far as I know she doesn’t read this, perhaps because she gets enough of my ramblings live.)

One reason is, although our newly empty nest has increased our ability to be a spontaneous couple, our chaotic work schedules mean sometimes we hardly see each other, so I don’t like to waste any time we have together, which is usually spent in the living room, and in order to blog I have to use the desktop computer in a separate room. I know, a laptop would eliminate this problem, and someday I plan to get one. But there would still be another difficulty.

My wife can sit and crochet in the living room while we watch TV together (or, ironically, play the card games that come with her work laptop), but although I would have no problem wandering the web, I’m not sure I could comfortably blog that way. As George Thorogood said about drinking, when I blog alone I prefer to be by myself.

It’s the closest thing I have to a hobby, and somehow having someone watching, or readily able to observe, makes me feel like I should be trying to explain what I’m doing instead of just amusing myself, which is the main function of a hobby. I guess it’s similar to the painter who goes off to paint in solitude, or the guy who goes into his workshop to build things or carve wood or work on a car.

When I’m being observed I also begin to feel self-conscious about my typing (which is barely functional at my best) and my personal editing process, as well as how much effort I sometimes put into producing so little, especially compared to her crocheting, which actually results in something useful (and popular; her blankets are always hits as gifts.)

Perhaps once I acquire and put that laptop to use those anxieties will all disappear. Until then, blogging will have to continue to take a back seat to better things. Happily, spending time with my wife still qualifies.

Not Good, But Good Enough

2010-08-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

After recently spouting off in response to one of Dale’s fine posts at Faith In Honest Doubt, which was in turn a response to comments about one of his previous posts (got that?), I realized that the commenter - who went by the name Bible Study Boy, which gives a pretty good idea of his philosophical leanings – had hit on something that I had long thought was a slightly uncomfortable aspect of Christianity. First, his comment.

I realize that many professing Christians teach that one must live by certain rules in the flesh in order to be saved. However, all that is required for salvation is faith alone in Jesus Christ. I also realize this is an atheist website, or at least it appears to be, but there is a great bible study website that shows why many professing Christians don't really represent true Christianity. Many profess to know God, but they are full of evil and hate trying to get people to live according to their rules. This is contrary to the bible which teaches that faith alone in Jesus is sufficient for salvation, not our own works of righteousness in the flesh.

Actually, as I read that again, I have to admire his ability to hit sore spots so succinctly. The classic theme “my Christianity is true, yours is false” is practically a founding principle (Paul spent a lot of the Old Testament trying to settle arguments within and among various groups, and from what I’ve seen he wasn’t always eye-to-eye with Peter’s Roman crew), and the role, if any, of good works has been debated for almost as long.

But this also got me to thinking about a commonly-used phrase: “good Christian”, as in “He’s a good Christian person”. Grammatically it can have a couple of meanings.

“A good person who is also a Christian”.
“A person who is a devout follower of Christianity.”

Most Christians want to think of those as essentially the same thing, that a person who is a devout follower of Christianity is also automatically a good person. But – as Bible Study Boy inadvertently points out – that is not necessarily true. There have been far too many really bad people who considered themselves good Christians. The uncomfortable fact for Christians like Bible Study Boy is that – by the definition he presents – those people were right. No matter how awful they were as human beings, as long as they had faith in Jesus Christ they were as worthy of salvation as anyone.

Which means that Bible Study Boy would wind up spending eternity with the evil-and-hate-filled people he mentions, along with some other pretty unsavory characters. Perhaps this is why some people want to have a few more conditions. They’d like to think it keeps the riffraff out. It also allows them to sidestep an aspect of their religion that they’d rather not advertise; that you don’t have to be a good person to be a good Christian.

One or the Other

2010-08-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

My wife recently read to me one of those political junk e-mails that get sent to her despite her complete lack of partisan political interest. (How some of these mailing lists get set up still remains a mystery to me.) This one was from the Government Sucks, So Shut It Down category, with two basic themes. (She deleted it, so I can’t quote it directly.)

One was that since certain government programs haven’t solved the problems they were created to combat (I recall poverty being mentioned among other things) they should be shut down, and that because of this “failure” government should not be trusted to do anything. To me this is like saying that since medical research hasn’t cured cancer it should be stopped, or that since Nyquil and the like don’t actually cure a cold they should be discontinued. Certain maladies like poverty are probably never going to be wiped out; the best anyone can do is alleviate some of the symptoms. But that in itself is a worthy undertaking.

The writer also seemed to suggest that Big Government has been an eternal problem despite the best efforts of right-thinking people like him (in the generic sense; recent events have shown that women are just as capable of this) to cut it. Even a casual study of American history shows that our system started out so small it almost fell apart (the Articles of Confederation era was little short of anarchy), and that most increases in size or scope were (1) hotly contested, (2) compromised by the process (often by cutting a deal with people who think like the writer) and (3) in response to either a failure of the existing system or some type of catastrophe (it took a Great Depression to foster a New Deal). There’s no doubt that accountability and efficiency could be better and that beneficial cuts could be made. But the notion that Big Government has always been the enemy is silly.

The other message was a bit more curious, because it read like a Wal-Mart press release, extolling the company’s success while listing various corporate statistics regarding employment and profitability. Overall I got the sense that the writer thought government would be much more efficient and successful if it were run like Wal-Mart, which tells me that he doesn’t know a lot about that company.

Wal-Mart has a level of centralization that would bring tears to the eyes of an old Soviet bureaucrat. Corporate headquarters in Arkansas directly controls not just all the inventory decisions, but employee work schedules, with local managers only able to make last-minute changes as needed. If someone gets sick, that person calls headquarters to report it, then gets transferred to the store. Even the environmental systems of every store are centrally controlled. If you’ve ever been in a store and wondered why the lights suddenly changed, it’s because HQ in Bentonville changed them.

This system doesn’t necessarily eliminate waste; in fact, it occasionally requires it. I often see perishable items on the shelves that the local employees and I know won’t sell here, at least not before they have to be thrown away. Apparently it is more cost-effective to haul them in, sell what they can, then toss the rest rather than sort for local tastes.

This isn’t meant as a critique of Wal-Mart. Their system obviously works for them. And perhaps I’m misjudging the e-mail writer. Maybe he would be OK with a government run that way as long as it was relatively efficient and cost-effective. It wouldn’t be consistent with his other message, but that tends to not be a big concern to such people. I just wish he would make up his mind before spamming my wife.

No Cooking Required

2010-08-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

I see that Walgreen's is selling flu shot gift cards. Just the thing to hand out this Halloween.

From the Office of Odd Coincidences….The other day my wife and I watched an episode of House Hunters in which the couple was looking for housing near Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia, a place heretofore unknown to either of us. That evening at a restaurant in Sioux Falls I saw a young woman wearing a t-shirt advertising that same locale. It’s the kind of what-are-the-odds thing that keeps lottery ticket sales going.

There have been big doings on the home front: my daughter has gotten a place of her own. The impetus was her best friend’s need to acquire lodging due to her family’s loss of their home to foreclosure and their imminent move to Missouri. My daughter’s friend is enrolled in the nursing program here and wished to finish here, so she decided to remain. She wanted a roommate, and my daughter’s recent acquisition of sufficiently gainful employment gave her the means to fill the role, though not without understandable anxiety. I assured her that it wouldn’t be much different from her frequent stays with her sister, and that both her friend’s grandparents and we will be nearby if needed. So far the transition seems to have been quite easy for them, with the usual adjustments for having to acquire the various little items necessary for a household (cups, utensils, can opener, etc.)

The apartment itself is part of a motel complex, so they get some similar services, including a telephone that eventually rings through to the front desk for messages, cable TV, wireless internet and weekly laundry for the bedding. It’s made up of three connected rooms, so the living room and bedrooms each have a bathroom. It’s sufficiently furnished, with recliners, a microwave oven, a two-burner hot plate and a kitchen-style sink in addition to standard motel furniture. It’s even within easy walking distance of a supermarket. All in all, it’s a good place for two first-timers, the only major drawback being its proximity to railroad tracks, which they say hasn’t been a big deal.

This has naturally led me to recall my first relatively independent non-dorm residence. My roommate and I had planned on continuing to stay in the dorms, but high pre-registration numbers caused the administration to panic and kick upperclassmen out to make room for what they thought was going to be a huge freshman class. It didn’t materialize, but by then most juniors and seniors had found other housing.

For us that housing was a three-bedroom mobile home owned by my roommate’s family, and shared by the two of us and two other students. It was typical of its time and type: metal roof and siding outside, wood paneling and shag carpet inside. It did have a washer and dryer, though, which was not just real luxury but a considerable factor in keeping the filth level below the average for a place inhabited by four male college students. We also had a classic wooden-console TV/Radio/turntable with a picture tube that took longer to warm up each time it was turned on, but which put out a nice imitation stereo TV sound.

Easily the biggest source of adventure for us was food preparation. Each person took a turn cooking (until a revolt against one roommate’s reliance on macaroni and cheese led to each person being responsible for his own sustenance, which allowed everyone to cook to his own taste but in my view was much less fun.) One night a roommate decided to cook spaghetti, without informing the rest of us that he had never before attempted such an undertaking or asking for advice from those of us who had. He proceeded to make most of the mistakes possible with pasta preparation, resulting in a spaghetti brick requiring a knife with a serrate edge to penetrate. There was a great deal of experimentation, usually with the electric skillet, resulting in some unique casseroles.

Today most of what we did wouldn’t even be attempted by many young people, simply because it isn’t necessary. The microwave oven and the foodstuffs designed for it allow someone to eat quite well (at least by college standards) with very little risk, or even effort. The number, variety and overall quality of microwavable items have truly revolutionized low-skill cooking. The development of techniques for using the microwave oven for traditional food preparation has also been beneficial, at least to an avid user like me. (My wife, on the other hand, didn’t have one until we got together.) I have found that I can cook many dishes just as well in a microwave oven as I can conventionally, with advantages in speed and cookware usage. But the biggest advantage for me – someone who rarely decides what to cook until the last minute - is the ability to defrost meat quickly.

Of course this is a mixed blessing. Young people who might find out they enjoy the art of cooking may never try. The increased packaging necessary for microwavable products has been decried for adding to solid waste. Above all, there’s the fact that most prepackaged food doesn’t taste as good as the freshly-cooked version. But that last statement comes with the old caveat: it depends on the skill of the cook. Banquet microwavable spaghetti and meatballs would probably have been preferable to my roommate’s effort. But he learned from the experience, as did we all, which usually doesn’t happen when you microwave a frozen dinner.

A Tale of Two Celebrations

2010-07-23T17:08:00.000-07:00

Once again I have shamefully neglected this humble blog. It’s been mostly the usual suspects – lethargy, lack of web-wandering time – but also that life has seemed to slog along without inspiration since my last post. The oil leak disaster has only recently been brought under some type of temporary limited control. Politics? Ugh. I was glad to see the soccer-picking octopus is doing well. I also came across part of a Lawrence Welk rerun that was, well, attention-getting. How to describe it…..it was an old-time tap dancing number, complete with barbershop-style clothes, done to an up-tempo, mostly instrumental (only the title line was sung) version of Sonny and Cher’s “And the Beat Goes On”. My wife and I both stared slack-jawed at the TV for about 15 seconds before the pending onset of stomach cramps induced me to change the channel. But nothing motivated me to apply fingers to keyboard.

Grandbaby, of course, finally did it. Her age can now be expressed in years, and she spent her birthday doing just that, informing everyone who looked at her, “I two!” There were festivities at a local park, where she promptly elevated everyone’s heart rate by climbing (unnoticed until halfway, but to her credit cautiously) up the steps of a 12-foot-high slide, gleefully sliding down, then repeating. Cake, grilled meat and cheap “fruit drink” (the stuff kids like but which has always seemed to me to lack only glycol to duplicate antifreeze) were consumed and presents proffered to the Birthday Girl, who seemed to get the biggest thrill from the bubble-blowing kits.

Two days later I was sitting at another picnic table, this time with roughly a dozen high school classmates on a flatbed trailer pulled by a pickup in a parade. The reunion to celebrate the 30th anniversary of our graduation coincided with a summer celebration in my hometown, so the organizers put together a parade entry, which brought home second prize in a field of about twenty (including a pickup driven by my wife, in the back of which four members of my Mom’s class rode) which we attributed to our distinguished good looks but which may possibly have been related to the kids in the back of our tow vehicle playing musical instruments and providing the kind of cuteness that would appeal to the judges, one of whom happened to be a classmate’s mother.

That same flatbed, now pulled by an antique tractor and further burdened by coolers full of beverages, was part of an afternoon poker run punctuated by random water balloon attacks from other entries, which given the heat of the day were quite tolerable. This eventually became a tour of the town, with lots of comments along the lines of “so they tore that down”, returnees noting the few areas of growth (a classmate and I recalled that there were no houses between ours when we were growing up; now it would be hard to see one from the other) and asking the residents “who lives there now?” Cities have many advantages, but try this in one and see how long you avoid a conversation with the local constabulary. Of course, we weren’t yelling or throwing things or causing any real disturbance, and the presence of farm machinery in those streets isn’t exactly uncommon. Still, small towns have a tolerance for at least certain behavior that belies the general perception of narrow conformity.

That evening we had a class supper with the usual goings-on associated with such functions, including a showing of videos of past reunions, now dubbed to a DVD with some difficulty, since at least one of the older ones had deteriorated. (I really could have lived comfortably without knowing that a tape of video in which I appear as an adult has begun disintegrating due to age.) The gathering was a great source of entertainment for spouses and families from elsewhere, who got background for those stories they had been told, and no doubt heard a few that had been forgotten, perhaps intentionally. My wife enjoyed herself immensely.

Eighteen of our class of thirty (a number that flummoxed a co-worker of a classmate who lives in suburban Atlanta; apparently he couldn’t comprehend a school that small) attended at least some of the activities. One has died, and one has been untraceable. I heard someone wonder why the no-shows who live nearby couldn’t at least drop in for a little bit. I think that, besides the many other possible reasons, the fact that it was potentially easy to do – no travel plans or other arrangements to make - meant it was also easy to forget.

I was able to recognize, at least after a second or so, all but two classmates; one due to his bushy beard, the other….well, no one who hadn’t seen him lately was able to recognize him. Most of us show appropriate signs of wear. One woman is in even better shape than 30 years ago, while her brother – also in our class – is in a nursing home. A wide variety of occupations was represented – farmers, mail carriers, computer technicians, corporate consultants – although, interestingly, no doctors or lawyers.

The people who organized the reunion had compiled a booklet from information provided by everyone, and copies were distributed, along with a list of contact numbers/addresses. There was already talk about the next one, but I didn’t really want to think ahead right then. I preferred just looking back a bit and enjoying the moment. That’s what those gatherings are all about.

Ten Years After

2010-06-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

As I was pondering a past personal milestone, it occurred to me that a fair number of the celebrated “events” in our lives - birthdays after the first one, wedding anniversaries, class reunions and many of the holidays - are not actual occurrences but commemorations of past happenings. I suppose there aren’t really that many truly significant occasions, so we get as much mileage out of them as we can.

The event in my life that led to that incredibly obvious observation isn’t one I care to celebrate. At the end of this month it will be ten years since my first wife left me. Hmmm….as I look at that last phrase I realize that it’s not commonly used in polite conversation. When people talk about such things they’re usually less specific; they say “since my first divorce” or “since my first wife and I split up”, perhaps because those phrases sound less accusatory and emotional, and divorcees don’t want to make others uncomfortable by sounding too bitter, especially after a certain amount of time has passed. In my case no such negativity is intended; that’s simply what happened. To paraphrase Jimmy Buffet, I could claim it’s the woman to blame, but I know it’s (partly) my own damn fault.

(I must digress momentarily to note that I can’t help but be a little impressed that Buffet has managed to create a very successful business empire as well as a laid-back, generally positive vibe from a song about a man drinking himself to death. I often scoffed at marketing while I was at KEVN, but sometimes it can do amazing things.)

Looking back at the ensuing months, I realize I definitely bit off far more than I could chew emotionally, resulting in a series of very bad decisions, some of the results of which I will probably live with for the rest of my life. On the other hand, some of those decisions put me in a position to meet my current wife, so I guess I should say all’s well that ends well. Overall, I can pretty easily divide my life into before and after Divorce 1.

Coincidentally, it was at this same time six years ago that my second wife left. What to say about that? Well, while some people can completely mess up their lives with one divorce, I needed two. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. I do know that while there were certainly other problems, a fair amount of what led to Divorce 2 was collateral damage from Divorce 1.

This has been on my mind for another reason: a co-worker is currently going through the same thing. His wife left him earlier this year, and his anger and bitterness would peg meters if such existed. Yet he has already begun pursuing a new and fairly serious relationship. Beyond the general skepticism, the fact that I did the same thing and paid a high price gives me special pause. Yes, it’s entirely possible he found the right woman, and you can’t control the timing. But I can say from experience that the situation is fragile and fraught with peril. I hope in ten years he’ll be looking back at a smaller mess than I am now.

The idea of “getting over it” and “moving on” naturally comes up at a point in time such as this. It could even be said that noting the date is itself evidence of lingering emotional soreness. If so, well, I have heard it said that for every year of marriage it takes a year to get over its end, which means I have four years to go. But I think anyone who has been through a divorce will agree that getting over it and moving on are separate and distinct yet interrelated processes, each with its own pace dictated by the individual’s emotional makeup and personal circumstances (kids’ needs don’t go away while the parent curls up on the couch and cries). The big hazard comes from trying to move on too quickly while still too far from getting over it to make good decisions. That was my failing.

The Other Football

2010-06-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve been watching the World Cup and idly pondering big-time soccer’s lack of success in this country. The games haven’t been too bad. While there hasn’t been a lot of scoring even by World Cup standards, most of the games I’ve seen have had fairly aggressive offense and ball movement; there hasn’t been much standing around at midfield kicking the ball back and forth waiting for someone on the other side to fall asleep. Much has been made of Americans simply not liking certain aspects of the game, but I think that is changing as more kids who have played it grow up (I just saw an ad for the local soccer association for kids from grades 7-12).

The big problem is, as always, how to make money at it, which in this country means TV, which (unless someone can figure out how make pay-per-view work) means advertising, to which the nonstop nature of soccer has always been unfriendly. The electronic billboards along the edge of the field seem like a good idea, although I don’t know how effective they actually are. I have noticed a number of points in a game where a billboard-type ad (the company logo accompanied by a quick “this game is brought to you by….”) or an audio-only ad, either recorded or by the announcer, might be squeezed in, although the audio-only ad may not work too well during this World Cup, where I would guess many people are, like me, watching with the sound as low as possible due to the vuvuzelas.

The basic structure of the game actually has one very TV-friendly feature: the predictable length. The constantly running clock, even with some extra time added for injuries, etc., makes it possible to assign a fairly precise time slot with some confidence. For this the willingness to end in a tie, which is one of the aspects frequently derided, is actually an advantage. As someone who frequently had to make on-the-fly programming decisions based on when a sporting event might end and how the network was going to handle it (NBC used to send lengthy teletype messages in advance listing various scenarios and how they would deal with them), I can say that this isn’t a trivial consideration for a broadcaster.

Soccer’s larger problem might simply be finding space. While there are many TV channels out there, only a few offer the ability to attract the large number of viewers necessary to bring in the ad dollars required to support a big-time league, and many of those channels and advertisers already have established relationships with other sports. Advertisers only have so much money to spend, so anything soccer can get would have to come out of another sport’s pocket.

Perhaps the best strategy might be to stay small for now and take the long view, supporting soccer at lower levels to build future fans and players as demographics bring more soccer-raised immigrants into the U.S. sporting scene. Of course, people have been trying that plan for a long time. They just haven’t been able to hang on long enough to see it through.

Sundries

2010-06-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

I heard the Spencer Davis Group’s “Gimme Some Lovin” on the radio again, and I still marvel that the lead singer was a white English teenager. I may have to get out my Blind Faith cassette (recorded from an original vinyl LP back when I had a turntable, and now carefully stored along with the album in the depressingly large “Wow, is he old!” section of my closet) for some more vintage Steve Winwood, who is still doing fine.

The recent coincidence of Rue McClanahan’s death and the release of Sex and the City 2 brought to mind an idea for a future movie; put the Sex and the City women in the Golden Girls’ situation. They’re not that far from being in the same age group: Kim Cattrall is actually older than McClanahan was when The Golden Girls started. It wouldn’t be hard to contrive the appropriate circumstances without being outlandish. Death, divorce and/or financial setbacks would do, and would be more believable than a lot of what has passed for plot in that franchise.

I saw a ghost at a stoplight the other day: an unrestored white Vega 2-door, GM’s second attempt at an import-fighting small car (assuming you count the Corvair as the first) apparently being used as a daily driver by some poor unfortunate soul I couldn’t see. Its condition didn’t look to be too bad, and I can’t help but wonder about its history. A long-time owner who has seen no need to change? Hand-me-down teenage transportation? One of those that just got made right and has held up from owner to owner? Possibly a combination of all three; it’s been around long enough.

I’ve been trying to tune out the “political angle” of the Gulf oil disaster because I find it irritating. I keep reminding myself that most of it comes from people who never supported Obama anyway, and that he’s far from the first politician to take heat for things he can’t control, but it still bugs me. I have never been able to understand the idea that the President has some kind of supernatural power to fix incredibly difficult and complex problems or stop disasters. As far as I can tell, he’s done about all he can so far; he’s making sure BP is going to pay for the mess, and he’s trying to see to it that resources are in place to start clean up once the oil flow stops. I have a hard time imagining anyone else doing better. This thing is simply really bad, and it’s going to be bad for a long time. Ask the people who are still dealing with the Exxon Valdez.

Sex and Oil

2010-05-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

And now, two completely different topics.

I have recently had reason to be thankful for one of my wife’s many good characteristics; she is not a fan of the show Sex and the City. This means I have not had to see the first movie and likely will not be going to the second one. I myself occasionally watched the series on TBS, usually with the same mindset applied to America’s Funniest Videos, marvelling at the stupidity that can be conjured up by people. Perhaps if/when the movies come to TV I’ll take a peek. But I’m certainly not paying for the privilege.

As I watch the ongoing oil tragedy in the Gulf of Mexico, I can’t help but feel sorry for the engineers at BP. I went to school with people like them (I haven’t checked , but I wouldn’t be surprised if some fellow alumni are involved in the current situation), and I know they would have thought about the possibility of something like that happening, and what to do if it did happen. I’m willing to bet that there’s a fair amount of “I knew this would happen someday” running through their minds as they scramble to figure out what to do.

Although the oil industry has considerable experience with this sort of thing - oil well “gushers” go as far back as drilling – none of it has been in deep water, so they’re having to make it up as they go. I’m also inclined to agree with Jon Stewart’s observation that the corporate resources devoted to such research have likely been considerably less than those dedicated to getting the oil. So now the bean counters who ignored them in the past scream for an immediate answer to a problem that should have been extensively studied in advance.

If only this wasn’t a common pattern.

You Can't Stay Here

2010-05-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

KELO recently did a story about repeat drunk drivers and why they do it. It's adequate for what it is - you can't expect deep reporting in a minute and a half - but it seemed to concentrate on the drunk part of the situation, while driving was only mentioned as a consequence of the impaired decision-making induced by booze. Alcohol is admittedly the root cause of the problem, but I think the driving part deserves some attention.

Why do these people need to drive? I don't mean why do they think they can, but why do they put themselves in a position where driving must be considered? Usually it's like this: they drive to a bar or some other setting where they're not allowed to stay, so they have to go home or somewhere else. The alcohol-induced poor decision-making kicks in, and the trouble starts. But what interests me is the thought process at the beginning, when they’re presumably still sober.

Assuming it’s not an event that requires attendance, such as a wedding, why go out at all when it would be much safer – and cheaper - to stay home and drink? Use the money saved to get a computer and a good internet connection and wander the web. (Admittedly this is not without its hazards. A friend of mine who regularly did this had to be careful around eBay after a few beers, lest he buy something he’d regret. Also, some of the material I come across seems to have been posted by people under the influence. At least I hope they were.)

I think drinking in the company of others who are doing the same (if not to the same degree), besides providing a more convivial atmosphere, makes them feel less like they have a problem. It’s easier for them to think of themselves as "social drinkers", of which society is much more tolerant. A group of people drinking is portrayed relatively positively in media, especially commercials (with the obligatory “please drink responsibly” in miniscule print, of course). It’s usually the lone drinker who is featured in the ads for treatment centers.

Why do they drive to where they’re going to drink? That’s fairly simple; driving is usually the most convenient way to get there. As for getting back, as many times as some of these people have been caught, they’ve probably made it home many more times, so they always think they can make it again.

There are various ways to deal with this, each with drawbacks that, while usually not major, can serve as excuses for someone who doesn’t really want to change. Having parties at home may be not possible or convenient; there may not be establishments within walking distance; public transportation may not be readily available. Law enforcement can only do so much. The serial offenders have been through all that: many are driving without valid licenses, and some have already done time.

Given all that, the KELO story is probably correct in emphasizing the drinking. Controlling that is really the only single consistent – if not easy - way to handle the problem. But finding ways to get them to voluntarily refrain from driving is worth trying. Then - whatever other problems they may have - at least they’d be less dangerous.

Not Likeable, But Plausible

2010-05-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

It really shouldn’t irritate me as much as it does. After all, it’s a pretty generic question, and one of the most basic, even if the follow-up tends to ruffle feathers. “Do you believe in God?” she asked. She considered it to be answerable with a basic yes-no-don’t know, and I suppose it is for most people. So I guess what bothers me is my own unhappiness with those options, which leads to the question of why I don’t like them.

I think a good part of it is my hard-headed, engineering-school mindset. I’m not comfortable giving answers without justification, and since proving the negative is probably impossible, and God hasn’t seen fit to settle the issue definitively to the positive (which to me is the best argument for negative, but it relies on the assumption that God would tell us of His existence), I’m left with intuition, and I’m not an intuitive person. As for “don’t know”, that is the bane of scientific minds. But in the end I fell back on the old Spock/Data answer: insufficient information.

After that conversation I tried to conjure up a variation of the question with which I could be comfortable. Eventually I came up with this:

“Is there a concept of God that you feel is compatible with the overall state of mankind and the universe?”

Yes, I know the idea that God doesn’t exist would also work. I guess that conversation just put me in the mood for a stroll down Deity Drive. (Large estates on that street. Some remind me of the movie Sunset Boulevard; slowly decaying as they cling to the past. Others look as though they were abandoned during the mortgage crisis; impressive but unoccupied. And what’s with all the plastic flamingos? But I digress.)

As you can see, it’s both more theoretical (not asking for firm belief) and more tangible (actually trying to relate God to our existence). Most importantly for this humble blog, though, is that I can actually answer it. There have been many Gods in human history that did this to some degree - Greek, Roman and Norse mythologies as well as any number of so-called pagan deities. But the more I’ve mulled it over, the better the God of Abraham as described in the Old Testament fits.

This is the God Lewis Black has described as “kind of a prick”, the God of whom David Plotz - after finishing a series in which he read the entire Old Testament, blogging as he went – said:

After reading about the genocides, the plagues, the murders, the mass enslavements, the ruthless vengeance for minor sins (or none at all), and all that smiting—every bit of it directly performed, authorized, or approved by God—I can only conclude that the God of the Hebrew Bible, if He existed, was awful, cruel, and capricious. He gives us moments of beauty—such sublime beauty and grace!—but taken as a whole, He is no God I want to obey and no God I can love.

I find that reaction interesting because it speaks to the human desire that God should adhere to our concepts of morality and justice, and basically be nice. Christians hold this especially dear, to the point of glossing over the explicit examples to the contrary both in their own texts and in the world around them. Lewis Black has noted that the New Testament Christian God seems to be generally nicer than the Old Testament Jewish version, which Christians attribute to Jesus, of course. Personally, I can’t help but connect that to the fact that God is much less directly involved with earthly affairs in the New Testament.

(Explaining God’s apparent decision to adopt a hands-off approach has long been a source of vexation to believers. My completely fabricated speculation that would account for it: God decided “OK, I’ve gotten things going and forgiven your sins; now I’m done. Fix your world yourselves.” Some explicit intervention would definitely settle a lot of things, though.)

I think that conceding the possibility that God may not always be a sweet wonderful being makes Him more believable. It certainly makes it easier to answer another version of my question. When someone considers the sorry state of the world and asks, “What God would allow this?” it’s not hard to point at old Jehovah and say “Look at His record. I wouldn’t put it past Him.”

Adding Them All Up

2010-04-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

My wife and I recently celebrated our third wedding anniversary with a day of delusion, starting with our own episode of House Hunters. While wandering a craft show at the mall feigning interest in a variety of items we couldn’t afford, we found a flyer for a local Parade of Homes, which was nothing like what the title suggested (an actual parade of homes down the street would have been entertaining) but did allow us to wander through six area houses - three that were actually for sale and three that were serving as demos for the builders - pretending we could afford to buy if we found one to our liking. They all had pros and cons as expected, but the house we liked best wasn’t part of the event, but a modular home we looked at on the way home. It was almost exactly what we would want if we were seriously in the market.

We finished off the fantasy day by eating at a local restaurant we normally wouldn’t patronize because we couldn’t afford it. I had lamb chops, mostly because I don’t recall ever having them. The verdict? Well, now I can say I’ve tried them. Actually they were perfectly fine, but somehow the whole experience was a bit of a letdown. I can’t say why; I have no specific complaints about any particular aspect. It is a very nice place, easily the classiest in town. The service was good, the prices a bit high but not unexpectedly so, and we both ate well. Perhaps I’m just not cut out for fine dining.

As the anniversary approached, it occurred to me that I was reaching another personal milestone; twenty years of marriage, in segments of 14, 3, and 3 years. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Is it something of which to be proud? Are we talking about perseverance, or a learning disorder? The fact that I eventually got it right leads me to flatter myself that it’s the former in my case, but there are a lot of people for whom it seems to be the latter; they never seem to consider the possibility that they’re not the marrying kind. Those people rarely reach a large total of years, either because they can’t stay married to anyone long enough (it’s tough to get there a year or two at a time) or their history eventually makes potential partners leery. Four divorces seems to be the point after which people start to really wonder about someone.

What intrigued me was that I couldn’t recall anyone else ever bringing up that type of statistic, and none of the remarried people to whom I’ve mentioned this had thought about it, which upon further reflection isn’t too surprising. For most people a new relationship brings with it a desire to start as fresh as possible; a running total creates a connection to the past that may not be comfortable. In addition, culturally marriage is treated like a winning streak; it’s the current consecutive number that matters. When someone asks how long you’ve been married they mean to your current spouse; if you gave a total rundown you would be regarded suspiciously. There simply isn’t a context in which total married years is meaningful to anyone.

The long unbroken strings will always get the accolades, which is fine given their continued rarity, with increased divorce offsetting increased life spans. Still, the general dismissal of reaching big numbers in smaller chunks is something that may be worth reconsidering as more people who have done it recall its unique aspects. Flying non-stop is generally preferred, but having to change planes, while usually inconvenient and sometimes worse, doesn’t make the trip less worthwhile.

Some Things Just Can't Break

2010-04-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

I've been pondering the recent Toyota woes, but once again had to be motivated by someone else to actually type something up. In this case it was a column by Matt DeLorenzo in the latest issue of Road and Track, in which he cites both Toyota's growth and a slight flaw in the Deming quality control philosophy Toyota follows.

He believed that it was better to establish an acceptable level of quality variation rather than waste resources on trying to reach zero-defect levels. While this concept works well when manufacturers are building hundreds of thousands of vehicles, it works less well when those numbers reach into the millions. Even if a manufacturer hits 99.9-percent effectiveness, that 0.1 percent translates into 1 car per thousand. Multiply that by millions and pretty soon it adds up to a large number.

This isn't really a flaw, just an acceptance of reality. No manufacturing process is perfect. Matt is quite right to note that quality gets harder to maintain at mass-production levels; ask anyone who has to cook for large numbers of people. He also makes a valid point that given today's increased demands and pressures perhaps trying for perfection is worth considering. But he leaves out something I believe is important, which is the need for different standards for different parts.

The reasons Toyota's troubles have been such a big deal are which component is failing and the nature of that failure. Accepting a small failure rate for power window motors or air conditioning compressors is fine. But throttle control is mission-critical. Not only should the goal be zero failures, but more importantly, given the ultimate inability to achieve that goal, allowances for failure need to be actively designed into the system to deal with as many potential consequences as possible In this case, the throttle needs to be designed to not stick open no matter what.

I also can't help but notice that this is part of an electronic throttle system, which is something relatively new to cars, especially at the large-volume lower-priced portion of the market. Companies test parts obsessively, but it's tough to duplicate the ravages of time and varying conditions, and difficult to spot impending trouble with inscrutable electronics. We may start seeing new and unexpected failures as the more recent automotive innovations begin to age.

Matt's mention of schadenfreude at other car companies over Toyota's troubles also interested me. I would hope there's also a a feeling of "there but for the grace of God go I." After all, most parts suppliers, like the company that made those throttle controls, make parts for many companies. There's always the chance that one of them could get that next batch of statistical inevitability.
　

Relax and Watch the Show

2010-04-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

If you struggled through my previous post (I apologize for not being able to give you back that portion of your life) you probably noticed, as I did, that my contemplation of church attendance was limited to childhood, which is probably insufficient. It has been 30 years since then, and while my churchgoing frequency as an adult classifies me somewhere between (as described by Williams and Ree) a "C and E Christian" (Christmas and Easter) and a "sprinkle Christian" (when sprinkled with water, rice, or dirt), my consideration of philosophical and religious matters has increased considerably. As it should; any such subject considered settled by childhood’s end probably wasn’t decided by the child.

I would describe my relationship with churchgoing as an adult as largely purpose-driven; I rarely go unless I have a reason. Most frequently the reason is domestic tranquility; someone in my family wants to go, so I tag along. My daughter also had to attend as part of her confirmation classes (I figured I’d get her the background and let her decide what to do with it). I’ve been married in a church twice, and there has been the usual assortment of baptisms, funerals, and other people’s weddings. A church building is a nice facility for such ceremonies, even if you don’t care much about the theology that built it.

How I behave depends on the context. If it’s a service with which I’m familiar I tend to treat it as performance art with audience participation and not pay that much attention, although I do keep an ear open during the sermon for a good anecdote or the occasional thoughtful nugget to ponder. Ceremonies I see less frequently (most recently a Catholic wedding) I treat as a learning experience. I didn’t actually attend the most novel and entertaining one I’ve seen. When my brother got married to a Korean Buddhist they had two ceremonies; a Buddhist one in Korea and a Lutheran one here. We saw a tape of the Buddhist ceremony, which of course was in Korean. My brother confessed that he didn’t know what was going on any more than we did; he just bowed when he was told, which is actually a pretty good rehearsal for marriage.

My wife’s statement that we should start going to church is itself a bit intriguing. So often I hear that phrase uttered in a tone similar to someone discussing getting a prostate exam or cleaning gutters. The feeling seems to be irritation and guilt at not fulfilling a disagreeable obligation rather than pleasure, which I guess isn’t too surprising; I suppose if they considered it enjoyable they wouldn’t have stopped. Still, I can’t help but wonder why they want to start again. I imagine it’s that ingrained belief that church attendance is necessary for salvation, even if you get nothing from it. Fortunately I usually manage to derive some benefit, even if it isn't what the church intends.
　

Not a Big Deal

2010-03-21T13:16:00.000-07:00

The wife said it again. She used that phrase. No, not the dreaded “we need to talk”, thankfully; that one -especially when uttered by ex-1 - has caused me more stomach trouble than flu and cheap burritos combined. (Hmmm…flu combined with cheap burritos. Now that would be a rough day.) This was more benign – “we should start going to church again”.

I know to some people that would be far from a benign suggestion, possibly leading to a rude reply and, depending on who said it, perhaps fisticuffs. In this case both my daughter and I just emitted non-committal but agreeable-sounding hums and kept eating. It wasn’t until later that I wondered why, given how little I usually get out of it, the idea didn’t and still doesn’t bother me more. This led me to ponder my lifelong experiences with churchgoing (Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod to be specific).

I know this sounds odd, but looking back at my childhood I can’t say I thought of going to church in religious terms. It was just a part of domestic life, something the family did. Once there I acted like I think many “heathens” do when missionaries preach to them; I listened, said “that’s nice to know” and got on with life. It simply had no impact on me beyond the practical applications (the non-religious Commandments aren’t a bad guide to living). As for the confirmation classes, I kicked butt. I memorized all the material and could rattle it off like a recording. But here again, it didn’t move me. I observed and understood what it meant to other people, but I was unaffected.

I did derive tangible benefits. I attended some statewide church youth gatherings and had a great time. Those gatherings tended to have many more girls than boys, which was a boon to me; I rarely sat down at the dances, and it was at one of these that I had my first make-out session.

It was at church that I first got some responsibility and a bit of freedom, albeit due to extenuating circumstances. High school boys traditionally served as ushers, but due to a population gap at our very small church I started ushering when I was in sixth grade. (Incidentally, shouldn’t the term be “ushing” ? Drivers drive, players play, why do ushers usher instead of ush? More language mystery.) This meant not only escorting people to and from pews and taking the collection, but getting to sit in a back pew separate from my family; big stuff for an 11yo. As a high-schooler I had my girlfriend sit with me occasionally.

You have no doubt noticed that the benefits were mostly secular, and some were unintended from the church’s perspective. Nevertheless, they were real, and still bring back some fond memories. I also can’t say I was scarred in any way by the religious part of my upbringing, or that its absence would have made my life obviously better. Perhaps that's why I don't get any more annoyed about church than I do about, say, going to a craft show. Church was never a huge bother;It was just part of growing up.

A Really Big Deal in Many Small Ways

2010-03-17T11:21:00.000-07:00

John Holbo at Crooked Timber has a post that I appreciate in a couple of ways. First physically.....

I’m a lefty, which means I now occasionally Google up things to do with left-handed guitar.

I never tried to learn guitar, but as a fellow lefty (the only one in my family; now my daughter is right-handed despite both her parents being left-handed; I continue to wonder about that), I can sympathize with the struggle to learn to do just about anything. My southpaw status was a source of great consternation to my Kindergarten teacher; her attempt to convert me was only slightly less enthusiastic than that of a new missionary in Africa. My brief foray into golf as a teen was with right-handed clubs, because that was what I happened to buy at a rummage sale; I didn't know left-handed clubs existed. I was given permission to "cheat" in the 10-key adding machine (yes, I know.... once again I date myself) portion of a class in high school by looking at the keys more than usually allowed because neither the teacher nor I knew how to handle my incompatibility with the right-handed layout.

Then there's John's larger point.....

I think about the things that interested me, growing up – like science fiction novels, for example. And comics. And I realize that almost everything I knew about these things that mattered a great deal to me (did you notice?) I learned by talking to about six people, four of whom were kids like me, and going to four different stores in my hometown. (And sex. Did I mention that, as a young teen, I was quite intrigued by the topic of sex, but – sadly – lacked reliable sources of information and reportage on the subject.) I suspect you could provide your own examples, if you grew up pre-internet. And I feel it’s pretty important, somehow, that those of you who grew up post-internet probably can’t provide your own examples. Or rather fewer.

Of course, this is a flagrantly obvious thought: the internet = important!

Commenter Emma added this.

....one was also limited to a much smaller slice of cultural achievement—that which was current in one’s social circle and popular culture. Which led to strange knowledges and huge gaps. I could sing all of Oklahoma, because my parents had the record, but could only listen to the pop music of the actual year I was in, because that was all that was on the radio station I could get on my transistor. You might see West Side Story on the telly, late one Saturday night, and have to wait years to see it again. No culture on demand. No way to know who was the third spear carrier in the back row of the black and white movie who looked strangely familiar. I’m so much less tolerant of those gaps now.

Just recently I said to my wife that I can only imagine how different my very-small-town childhood would have been if the internet had existed. I was recreational reader of reference books when I wasn't wandering around outside daydreaming; my parents would probably have had to throw me outside if I'd had the internet to peruse. I can also only guess what effect the lessening of small-town isolation would have had; as it was TV (non-cable) was my prime source of information about the wider world.

Of course, I see the downside to the internet regularly when I help my daughter search for information for a school report; the huge amount of junk that has to be winnowed. But even this has the benefit of cultivating useful skills such as the ability to corroborate and recognize reliability in sources.

Commenter magistra had this to say.

I think there are a couple of particularly interesting wider issues. One is that the concept of what is ‘normal’ is getting redefined. If you are into China bluegrass or believe in alien abductions, you are no longer an isolated freak (though you may still be a freak); you have support for your interests or views.

As someone who wasn't exactly "normal" growing up (and probably still isn't), I can relate to that.

The other is the increasing significance of partially-reliable sources. If you wanted to know about Blake’s Seven or George III twenty years ago, you could go and find a reference book (which would probably have been edited very carefully) or you could rely on what you and your friends could remember (probably very inaccurate). Now you can go to Wikipedia or other online sites and get information which is probably mostly right, but not as rigorously checked as a book would have been. All this is anathema to proper reference librarians, but for many things, probably/partially right information is enough. I look up several dozen trivial queries a day: not worth going to the library (or even digging out a reference book) for, but nice to know.

Those last few words are a pretty good summary of what the internet has done for me as a generally curious person; it has provided easy access to things (and people) that are nice to know.

Old Haunt

2010-03-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

Our most recent trip to Sioux Falls did have a pleasant difference in that we were able to coordinate it with a surprise birthday party for my Dad in Centerville the next day. In fact, his wife used our visit as both the motivation to actually organize the party, which she had been contemplating but hadn’t gotten around to doing until she heard we would be in the area, and a cover story for the extra cooking, etc. for the festivities. As a result it was a complete surprise; Dad didn’t realize something was up until other people started arriving.

There was also a bit of a milestone for me. Dad wanted to go to an Italian restaurant in Vermillion, which marked the first time I had been there since I moved away nearly eight years ago. I had been in the area a few times since but had always had some excuse not to visit (no time, out of the way). The truth is I had avoided returning because it had hurt so much to leave. If I had to do it over I would still be there, even though the odds of meeting my wife (who does know how I feel) would have been long. But we didn’t do enough to reopen any wounds; just a quick drive past my old house and Public TV to show my wife the locations.

The town hasn’t changed very much. The only big additions since I left are Wal-Mart and a new Holiday Inn Express. The other changes are basically more of what was already there: the trailer court where I lived is larger, there are more storage units, etc. The restaurant – which I had only patronized once when I lived there - had moved from where I remembered it, but was a good place to eat. Overall, it was still the town I remembered. Someday I may actually pay it a proper visit. I think I can handle it now.

The drive back home had an interesting feel to it (although happily nothing like the drive down, the first hour of which was on a snow-packed highway at 35 mph). There was standing water filling ditches, creeks, rivers, etc. almost everywhere, with more snow ready to melt, giving the impression that we were getting out just ahead of trouble. In fact, many of those areas have since flooded. It will be interesting to see the conditions in three weeks when we go back to see yet another doctor.

Primary Care

2010-03-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Another month, another trip to Sioux Falls for medical reasons, with two more already scheduled over the next few months. At least my wife’s condition finally seems to have motivated the various doctors to do some proper diagnostics, as opposed to tossing pills at the problem and hoping for the best. My wife also seems to have found a competent general practitioner here that she trusts, which has been some time coming and which I believe is directly related to the sudden activity, but that’s a topic for later.

On second thought…..why later?

For all the expensive specialists and technology that make U.S. medicine distinctive from (if not necessarily better than) most of the rest of the world, basic communication is what gets things moving. Finding a primary doctor who can not only understand a patient but provide a plan of action and if necessary get the right people who can provide answers (or at least some hope of finding answers) involved and motivated is the key to navigating the great medical maze and actually benefiting from that vaunted technology. (It only goes so far, however. My wife was told she couldn’t get in to see one specialist until June. When the other doctors attempted to intervene, they were told to take it or leave it.)

Unfortunately making such a connection tends to be similar to finding romance – largely a matter of happenstance, of stumbling around until you find the right person. Perhaps there’s a market for a medical equivalent of eHarmony, where doctors and patients can fill out questionnaires and search compatibility databases to determine if they should do business together. I can imagine lots of problems making it work, but if it did it could save time, money and aggravation.

Even once established, this relationship has the added complication of being easily broken by one or the other moving on, especially from areas like here; my wife has had a couple of GPs go to greener pastures in the short time I’ve known her. That and the shortage of new doctors going into general practice make the 40-year local doctor, like the 40-year marriage, increasingly rare, which would mean lots of repeat customers for that website. Unfortunately, I think a good number of those customers would be just as frustrated with their options as they are now. I just hope my wife can hang onto this one for a while.

Suck It Up for the Kid

2010-03-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well, at least my timing is pretty good. I managed to pay an all-too-infrequent visit to Brian, Amy and company at Incertus just in time to to read a post that revs me up.

Here's the story: Jewish woman and Catholic man get married, he converts. They have a kid, and get divorced. Judge gives her primary custody and they agree to raise the child Jewish. Husband decides to renege on the deal later and has her baptized. Wife gets a restraining order. Husband takes the kid to church and gets news cameras to come along, loudly proclaiming that his rights to worship as he chooses have been violated. Ex-wife's lawyers demand he be held in contempt and spend the next six months in jail over this outrage.

Brian covers the various religious angles, so I won't get into that too much. Besides, I tend to agree with the notion expressed elsewhere in the post that this isn't really about religion (although I imagine many people tried to talk them out of it on that basis,and others told them a Jewish/Catholic marriage would be a tough slog), but about taking shots at the ex by whatever means available, of which religion is always prime, and in this case I believe is especially effective against the mother. The idea of the child as a possession (I do what I wish with my kid!) is also apparent here.

It's hard to feel optimistic about this situation. Either the parents are going to have to back off and compromise somehow - and we all know how often that works when religion is injected into a conflict - or this could end with someone doing hard time under tragic circumstances, or with one parent (so far the father is the likely candidate) banished from the child's life.

I do wonder about the "duress" mentioned by the father, but I suspect two types. The duress for conversion was classically romantic/hormonal; the besotted boy agrees to anything to get the girl. This is an oldie but doesn't necessarily corroborate his alleged devotion to his faith. The other is probably the type of pressure inherent in any negotiation, especially under such emotional circumstances. I don't see a court buying either of these. Religious conversions, particularly to Judaism, aren't done casually, and divorce agreements like this one are hammered out painfully and deliberately,with plenty of opportunity for contemplation. Any “duress” was self-inflicted.

On a more general level, it is another reminder that children affect a divorce just as profoundly as they do a marriage. Staying together "for the sake of the children" has long been justifiably derided, but that's effectively what must be done by divorced parents who truly care about their children; they have to get along (in this case for a very long time; the child is 3yo). The divorce ends the marriage contract, but not the parental contract. That has to be handled separately.

Electronic Innoculation

2010-03-03T08:19:00.000-08:00

March…..not quite the light at the end of tunnel, but perhaps a reflective signpost glowing from the light. The snowdrifts are showing dirt, and temperatures are approaching normal, at least here. We’ll probably get pasted at least once more, but winter is finally showing signs of retreat.

I recently engaged in a titanic struggle with a nasty Trojan virus my daughter’s laptop picked up somewhere. (Hmmm....in another context the Trojan is the virus protection. English is a funny language.) I haven’t had much experience with them, so this was interesting. It hijacked the Microsoft security center, which began spewing forth all sorts of nonsense and demanding I subscribe to whatever it was to get rid of it. It also made all the desktop icons disappear and pretty much brought all functions to a halt, including the on-board antivirus software.

I consulted the man who originally set the computer up for my daughter, and he recommended I try Trend Micro’s Housecall, which is free and could be run from the internet so it could work around the virus. I knew I was on the right track when the computer kept trying to block access to the website. After considerable clicking, back-paging and re-clicking I was finally able to get the software running. I don’t recall the exact time it took to scan, detect and fix the trouble, but it wasn’t long, and the computer seems to be functioning fine now.

I was so impressed ran it on my old desktop just to see what would happen. It took quite a bit longer, which wasn’t too surprising given the relatively limited processor and memory of the old beast, and didn’t find anything toxic. Overall, I heartily recommend it, at least as part of the arsenal.

Fantasy,Reality and Their Gradations

2010-02-23T18:30:00.000-08:00

It finally came to me. The first time we saw the latest Nutrisystem ad, my wife and I both thought the woman (not Marie Osmond, the other one) looked, well, unusual somehow. The other day I realized….the long torso…..the hard face…..the relatively narrow hips…..she looks like she used to be a man. More evidence that of all the advantages of losing excess weight – and she seems to have derived many benefits – appearance is the most uncertain. Perhaps she looks better in person.

I happened upon G4 TV’s coverage of the Adult Entertainment Expo, at least what they could show; unsurprisingly the image-blurring was extensive. I haven’t contributed to that industry’s profit margin since before most of its current stars were born, but if I were already in Las Vegas at the right time the convention looks like it might be fun to attend just to see what it’s like. I could see that advances in plastic surgery have enabled adult film makers to have the same advantage Playboy has always had with pictures, just with the women themselves touched up instead of the images. I could tell who the veterans of the business were by the extent and obviousness of the alterations. I have often heard that pornography demeans women by presenting a distorted view of them to men. I tend to think that anyone who would confuse those productions with reality is the type who has to learn just about everything the hard way, sad as that may be for all involved.

That train of thought brings to mind an accelerating trend in movie making in general, the mingling of the technologies of representing fantasy and reality. For the first few decades of film making the struggle was for realism, to accurately replicate actual people/places/things and to make imaginary people/places/things seem real. Naturally reality was easier to handle, so fantasy tended to resemble it; aliens and monsters and their worlds were modeled around what was actually available. Even as the special effects got better they were still largely used as improved versions of what had always been done, and dropped into the film as a largely separate entity.

Now the technology developed to make fantasy seem real is being used to make reality seem fantastic. The upcoming Alice in Wonderland movie is a prime example. Actual people are not just voicing characters but providing their image, and they are recognizable, but they are being digitally altered into fantastic shapes and are integrated into the semi-animated form of the film. It makes me wonder what other movies will be remade this way, or what other stories will be done. I can imagine Disney trying this with some of their animated catalog, and someone redoing some of the old sci-fi flicks. It also could bring up conflicts between acting and animation. At what point does a performance like that go from contention for an award for Best Actor to Best Special Effects?
　
　
　

Whither Conan?

2010-02-05T12:04:00.000-08:00

Thoughts while putting off yet another bout of snow shoveling.......

I see the markets are tanking again. Frankly, I didn't quite understand why there had been any optimism. It seems as though the markets had been acting largely on theory, i.e. "things are bound to get better, so now is the time to get in on the ground floor". Then after they get pounded by enough bad news they finally cave in to reality, at least for a little while. I think the fact that traders make money no matter which way things go factors in as well.

Some headlines just draw you in.

"Ill Lt. Gov. nominee denies putting knife to girlfriend's throat, admits past steroid use."

A little checking just added to it.
　
Six months before the October 2005 incident, the woman had been arrested after a police investigation of a Glenview massage parlor. She later pleaded guilty to a charge of prostitution.

Is it really that hard to find a relatively clean politician in Illinois?
　
Now that the NBC talk show fiasco has been more or less settled, I've been wondering what Conan's next move should be. I see rumors of an NBC TV series pilot and a talk show on Fox. I think NBC should put him in charge of Saturday Night Live (where he once worked). Let him do the opening monologue and perhaps the Weekend Update segment, and participate in sketches if desirable. They could still have guest stars as they do now, but Conan would provide a steady center around which the show could swirl. It could be a different take on the old variety shows.

Another Day Older

2010-01-22T09:55:00.000-08:00

Sunrise, sunset, repeat…. Grandbaby’s new habit of saying “mom” to get someone’s attention – in this case my daughter - started a conversation that led to the realization that my daughter is now the same age my mother was during her pregnancy with me (almost exactly: their birthdays are both in early December). My daughter is not pregnant, so there is no larger coincidence here, just another reason for the back to ache a little more.

On a recent episode of No Reservations in Panama, Anthony Bourdain was in the process of arranging a segment for the show when he and his crew were whisked to a remote site by the government to witness the destruction of part of what an official said was 16 tons of cocaine seized in a 42-day operation. It could just be that I’ve become jaded by all the stories I’ve heard over the years trumpeting drug seizures while the supply remains largely unaffected. But that number, combined with the contrast between the official’s enthusiasm and Bourdain’s joke that this won’t be the first time he has been involved in cooking cocaine, made me think of the subject of the Tennessee Ernie Ford song 16 tons, who talks about his toughness and ability at his job while noting that it’s not getting him anywhere.

I doubt that official feels that way. It would be tough to stay in that job if he did, and the people I know in that line of work don't. I imagine he can take the perspective that his efforts could drive the traffickers to safer havens and improve conditions in his nation. He could watch Bourdain’s program about Columbia, which showed how conditions have gotten vastly better than in the bad old days, for inspiration. But I wouldn’t blame him if he occasionally thought he'd be better off shoveling coal.

Put Some Clothes On

2010-01-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

Among the collection of Peter Egan articles I recently received was one in which he said that while he enjoys many vehicle-related pastimes, he has never taken to snowmobiling for the simple reason that he doesn’t like being out in the cold for any length of time. I stand firmly with him in support of this. I cannot think of a cold-weather outdoor activity of any interest to me. Further, of the various activities in which I have been able to participate in both warm and cold weather, I have yet to find one I prefer cold.

Lately it hasn’t been the cold itself that has attracted my attention, but how people deal with it. Under-dressing seems to be standard for many folks. I regularly see people walking (or more usually running) from place to place wearing clothing apparently selected in the hope that they will get to a source of warmth before they lose skin or are unable to move. I know of at least two recent incidents involving stranded motorists on the highway who were wearing shorts when they were rescued.

Slight allowance can be made for travelers from warmer climates, but it’s not like our winters are a secret; a few minutes watching the Weather Channel before coming here would give them the gist. As for locals, I think there’s a fair amount of the old we’re-used-it-around-here mentality in play. No one wants to admit the cold bothers them, even as they sprint through it then do calisthenics to restore feeling in their extremities.

This has always mystified me, given the ready availability of the solution. Are these people really so pressed for time that they just can’t spare 30 seconds to put on a coat? I have occasionally been teased for my winter garb, but I have never understood why I should sacrifice comfort for the privilege of courting frostbite. Ebenezer Scrooge may not have much fun pre-conversion, but his appreciation of garments always struck me as quite sensible.

Peter with Half the Wheels

2010-01-17T13:37:00.000-08:00

For Christmas my wife got me another collection of Peter Egan’s writings, this time from Cycle World magazine. For those of you who have been fortunate enough to miss my past missives on the subject, I am a long-time fan of Peter’s work, but until now the only material I have read has been from Road & Track. Peter actually started at Cycle World before Road & Track, and he has continued to work for both over the years, so there is a considerable body of work I have not seen.

The reason is simple enough; I have never subscribed to Cycle World, because I’ve never been a motorcycle guy. I’ve had some good times on motorcycle rides on which I was a passenger, and put some miles on a neighbor’s minibike as a kid, but I’ve never been tempted to own a motorcycle, nor have I taken much interest in the culture. I can’t really say why not; perhaps a combination of timidity and living in an area where motorcycles are unusable for a significant portion of the year. It takes dedication and some resources to be a motorcyclist here, and I’ve never had enough interest to overcome the obstacles.

Wandering back to where I started, reading this book has been very revealing. It has shown a side of Peter Egan to which he only vaguely referred in his Road & Track work. I had no idea how many motorcycles he owned over the years (although this shouldn’t be a big surprise; they are generally less expensive and easier to purchase and store than cars), and how much work he did for Cycle World. His Road & Track writings give the impression of a fairly leisurely working pace; this book shows he has been on the road for one magazine or another fairly constantly.

But what has been most intriguing is the greater intensity of the writing itself. There’s a subtle edge to it that his automotive writing lacks, which I suppose reflects the difference between the two experiences. Even casual motorcycle riding is a more sensory experience and more demanding than almost all car driving, and his writing conveys that. Happily, I find him just as enjoyable to read about motorcycles as he is about cars, which again shouldn’t be a surprise. I just like his style.

Betty,Homer and Crazy Horse

2010-01-17T13:34:00.000-08:00

From the what-is-that-about file: lately I have seen a couple of vehicles – an SUV and a pickup – with plush toys (Betty Boop and a teddy bear, respectively) tied to the center of the grilles. I would happily entertain possible explanations.

A recent Travel Channel program about the Black Hills, specifically the segment about the Crazy Horse monument project, reminded me of a comment a friend once made that carving up a mountain doesn’t seem consistent with the Native American ethos of respect for nature. Again, I will listen to counterpoints.

The Simpsons Movie was on FX the other night, and I enjoyed it more than when I saw it in the theater, which I find interesting. I imagine part of it is being familiar enough with the plot this time to pay more attention to the details that are always incorporated into a Simpsons production. But I think another form of familiarity came into play: the viewing environment. All the years of watching them on TV have honed the responses to the rhythm of the show, so that it seemed more natural and comfortable to see it there. The movie itself also seemed to belong on TV; I didn’t notice any loss in the transition from the big screen. Homer may have been hitting closer to home than the producers intended when he belittled moviegoers at the beginning for paying to see something they could watch at home for free - well, apart from paying for cable in this case.

Speaking of that, I wonder why Fox didn’t air it on the main broadcast network. I know they like to use FX for more risqué material, but I don’t recall anything in the movie that they hadn’t done in the series, apart from Bart’s comic frontal nudity (which was edited on FX) and perhaps Otto’s brief drug scene. Perhaps they wanted to give FX a boost with something that would draw a bigger audience than their usual fare.

Small Expectations

2010-01-06T09:54:00.000-08:00

This is the traditional time for resolutions, those yearly (for some) promises to improve our lives and/or ourselves in some way. I have personally never indulged in such things, preferring to follow the philosophy of Lewis Black and keep expectations as low as possible. However, there’s nothing wrong with the idea of looking ahead and seeing what can be done to better my situation.

Professionally, the nature of my job requires almost daily evaluation, so a yearly assessment is rather silly, although that doesn’t stop the State of South Dakota from requiring one. In general I would like to do better, but that’s always going to be true. I'm always on the lookout for a different job, but I'm not counting on it; at the moment I have too many restrictions to make finding something suitable likely.

I would like to improve my overall finances, which could involve many possibilities with varying likelihoods of success. There’s the big old pie-in-the-sky Powerball win, of course, or some other unexpected windfall against which I have thus far resisted borrowing, even if I thought I could find a willing lender. But I know I will finish paying off a particular loan (a hangover from my previous marriage) later this year, which will free up funds to reduce other obligations and generally make life more pleasant. It would also be nice to reduce the child-related drain on the pocketbook.

Domestically, things are pretty good. I really have no business having such a fine wife, but I will continue to take advantage of her strange taste in men. I would like to make it possible for her to work less (which ties in with the finances) and to keep our daughters on course toward building decent lives. We also need to sort out our vehicle situation (finances again). But overall the biggest source of drama is Grandbaby, and that’s fine.

As for health-related matters, a recent decision to park on the edge of the lot at work in order to walk more has produced decent results, and I know better to make any dietary promises beyond keeping it reasonable. I don’t smoke, I drink very little alcohol, my blood pressure is good and everything seems to be functioning within acceptable parameters, so good enough. In fact, I’d apply that last statement to life in general: improvement would be nice, but until then, good enough.

Familial Mitosis

2010-01-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

Here we are, in 2010. I know I’m late, but I’m not alone; the first baby at the local hospital didn’t arrive until Jan 2nd.

The entire year-end rhythm was thrown off a bit this year by the vast amount of frozen water that fell from the sky and was blown into large piles on every exposed surface. Since I have one of those get-there-no-matter-what jobs, I walked out of my drifted-in mobile home park to the main road to meet a 4WD to get to work on Christmas Day and the 26th. At least I wasn’t one of the poor plow drivers trying to keep emergency routes open until it let up enough for them to actually accomplish something.

This reminded me that I have spent almost my entire working life as “essential personnel”, as the closure announcements say. I recall passing a snow plow at 4:30 AM as it was about to start working on Skyline Drive to get to KEVN, and walking to Public TV in a snow storm so bad they were ticketing people for driving in the Vermillion city limits. Someday I would like to be able to look out the window and say “Well, I’m not making it to work today” then go back to bed.

Unlike many holiday plans, our family gathering in Brookings had previously been scheduled for the weekend after New Year’s Day, so nothing had to be changed and all went well, with the usual copious amounts of food and drink and the kids acquiring considerable swag. The biggest problem is space for everyone, especially now that most of the kids are beyond the go-outside-and-play age. We may have to rent a facility of some sort in the future, or limit the big get-together to months when it can be held outdoors.

Grandbaby went with my wife, my daughter and me, and she had a good time once she got used to so many people, especially the ones who look like me. She is also a harbinger of the future of our family get-togethers. The oldest of my parents’ grandkids turned 21 last August (the same age as Grandbaby’s Mom), and two more are out of high school. In what will no doubt seem like no time more of Grandbaby’s generation, along with new spouses, will be adding to the mix and this gathering will eventually give way to gatherings based around the younger Grandparents.

I’ve largely enjoyed the short time I’ve spent in the patriarchal chair courtesy of my wife’s kids, so I think this is a good development, even if it means assuming a role associated with a certain age, perhaps even because it means that. I’ve said for years that I’m waiting for my age to align with my mindset: it looks like I’m getting there.

Sheldon and Benji

2009-12-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

Some boob tubers from a couch potato....

- How long before the TV picture tube goes the way of the 8-track tape (and the term "boob tube" becomes even more arcane)? It’s already hard to find a new one. Wal-mart has vast rows of flat-screen TVs, but only a single model of the old type. Our 27-inch TV seems like a relic, our 13-incher even more so. I have tried calculating what size 16:9 TV would provide a similar screen height to the bigger set (sometime I should research the origin of measuring screens diagonally). I think something in the 34-inch range will do it, but I’ll probably take a measuring tape to the store when the time comes.

- It was neat to hear Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory mention that Jesus was actually probably born in the spring, and that the celebration was put at its current time by the early church to coincide with a Roman festival for greater popular appeal. Yes, it was done in a comic context – Sheldon also said that the Grinch’s position on Christmas was much more courageous and sound until he wimped out and caved in to societal norms - but you don’t often hear statements like that on mainstream network TV, especially on a lightweight sitcom.

- I came upon the movie Benji the Hunted on TV the other day while my wife was watching a DVD of the movie Santa Buddies on her daughter’s computer, and I couldn’t help noticing the contrast. In case you’re not familiar with those cinematic works, Santa Buddies is a typical modern movie using live animals with voices (complete with moving mouths) digitally added. Benji the Hunted, on the other hand, is a movie (one of a series) in the classic mode with no talking animals (in this case no dialog at all for most of the movie). It’s funny to recall that the Benji movies were considered cute kid’s fare at the time (Disney products, no less); compared to Santa Buddies and others of that type they’re Apocalypse Now. In particular the long shot of the wolf falling off the cliff and hitting the ground would have no chance of being in a current kid’s movie, at least done like that. I guess the movie makers hadn’t quite given up on the idea that kids don’t need to be sheltered from anything resembling intense reality. Now it seems that they just moved that stuff to full animation, where it seems to catch less heat.

I tried to imagine what the Benji movie would look like if it were made like Santa Buddies, with the animals all having voices, the cougar kittens high and squeaky, the wolf deep and nasty, etc. To my mind it would take away what little edge the movie had. It’s hard to get too caught up in the peril of a talking dog. Lassie and Rin Tin Tin wouldn’t have been the same. My two favorite animated dogs, Snoopy and the dog from the Grinch cartoon, didn’t have voices. To me the lack of animal voices gives Benji a realistic feel that is decidedly lacking (in the case of Santa Buddies, probably intentionally; I’m sure the producers were going for a cartoonish vibe) in most modern animal-related dramas. It’s closer to the documentary feel of films such as March of the Penguins. That feel does, as one reviewer said, make it a bit tough to watch at times. But it avoids that extra layer of sweetness that I find annoying in any movie that is supposed to have some drama, the layer that keeps me away from movies like Santa Buddies.

The Following is Not a Paid Advertisement

2009-12-04T17:14:00.000-08:00

Ruminations from an indecent hour.....

The number and variety of "paid programs" - those 30-minute commercials poorly masquerading as TV shows – on in the middle of the night amazes me. It's hard to believe they can all make money. When I was at KEVN Companies paid a flat fee to have them aired, which was easy money for the station and filled air time. (Some didn’t get much bang for their buck. I once got a call from the answering service for one that had just aired asking to confirm that we did actually broadcast it; apparently there was no response.) I liked them because it was 30 minutes without worrying about commercial breaks.

Unfortunately, to make sure they aired properly we still had to pay a little attention to them, and they could be tough to watch. For me the low was a spiel sponsored by Jerry Falwell’s organization offering to sell you a copy of what they alleged was evidence convicting the Clinton Administration of every sort of nefarious deed, up to and including the "murder" of Vince Foster (remember that?), all for a low, low price. I remember thinking, "If you’ve really got the goods on the President and most of his people, why haven’t you acted like a conscientious citizen and given it to any willing prosecutor, investigative reporter and Congressman (of which there would have plenty), instead of peddling it like a sidewalk tabloid hawker?" I really hadn’t given Falwell much thought up to that point; he was just part of our Sunday morning gasbags-for-God lineup. But that shameful piece of hucksterism (which I should point out was separate from his regular show and in which, if I recall correctly, he did not actually participate) wrote him off as a credible person to me.

Over the years I took a number of telephone calls about station programming choices such as that one and the frequent preempting of Meet the Press, with viewers frequently accusing the station of bias of some type. I always told them that as far as I know there was no non-financial agenda at KEVN. As long as your check cashed and you didn't violate any laws or cause too much trouble for station management you could get on the air, and at just about any time you wanted if the check was big enough. (I once had to start Matlock 30 minutes early to accommodate a paid program, which meant tape-delaying an early feed by half an hour instead of taking it right off the satellite. It also meant that it was already half over at its usual start time.) TV preachers were just like any other paid program as far as the station was concerned. What mattered was that they paid very well; well enough for the station to preempt NBC’s NFL pre-game show when necessary.

That anything-for-a-buck philosophy is probably necessary to some degree in small-market TV, but it did become tiresome after a while, particularly when I had to answer the angry calls. (Those Matlock viewers were a loyal and vocal bunch.) I personally found the frequent preempting of the weekend NBC Nightly News for a paid program to be somewhat unseemly. Since I left I understand they occasionally did the same thing to the weekday NBC News; the local news crew must have been just giddy to have an infomercial as a lead-in instead of Tom Brokaw. They eventually sold their soul to Rupert Murdoch and became a Fox affiliate, which I’m sure happened purely because FOX wrote a large check, but it seems like a good philosophical match as well.

Night Notes

2009-12-04T17:04:00.000-08:00

Ah, another stretch of overnights; time to wander around the gray matter.....or is it grey matter? Merriam-Webster says that grey is a variant of gray, so either is apparently acceptable. Grey somehow seems more classic, more Olde English.

- The cable TV music feed is a nice change from the radio. They play a different mix and don’t have commercials. On the other hand, they played the full-length version of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, reminding me that it is possible for even a decent rock song to be too long, at least without the aid of recreational chemicals.

Speaking of recreational chemicals, the gentleman who works next door gave me two chocolate-covered peppermint sticks, which I’m sure have been around a long time but didn’t come into my life until recently. It does make a nice combination, but I can’t help wondering if it was one of those accidental ideas, most famously expressed in the old Reese’s candy-bar-dropped-into-chocolate ad campaign. I suppose it could have been a spontaneous idea; someone just decided to try it to see if it would work. A great deal of my cooking skill has come from that concept. I think my best idea came when, lacking lettuce for tacos, I substituted dill pickle slices (again, I’m sure it had been done, but I hadn’t seen it). My daughter liked it, and lettuce has not reappeared in tacos at our house.

- Perhaps I’ve just become jaded, but this year the "holiday" season hasn’t seemed as interminable as in past years. We’ve actually gotten to what I consider an acceptable time to be pushing crap-for-Christmas without me experiencing an urge to assault anyone or anything mentioning it. I guess I’ve been too occupied with more important things to pay much attention to the preseason hype. We’ve also gotten the family gathering arranged, which is usually a large headache. Whatever the reason, it is refreshing to see December on the calendar and feel something besides fatigue and the desperate desire for it to be over.

Imagine That Ten Years Have Gone By

2009-11-29T13:21:00.000-08:00

I've noticed ads for end-of-year TV specials, but I haven't seen anything recognizing the fact that we've had 10 years starting with a 2. I guess it's the lack of millennial excitement this time, no Y2K (an abbreviation that can't pass into history fast enough) computer anxieties. Still, it's been a pretty eventful decade; you'd think there would be bit more hoopla. Perhaps it's the nature of those major events; large-scale terrorist attacks, ongoing wars and economic stagnation don't make people want to dance in the streets. I think if anything there's a feeling of Good Riddance, as John Lennon said about another decade, "Weren't the 70's a drag?" Of course, he then said, "Let's try to make the 80's better" and was killed shortly thereafter, reminding us of the fleeting nature of optimism, and that things can almost always get worse.

When I mentioned this passing of years to my wife, she said, "It doesn't seem that long ago", which is a common reaction, but one I don't share about that time frame. When I think back to my life at the end of 1999 and all that happened since, the bad - 2 divorces; an ill-advised job change requiring relocation to another town; lingering financial chaos brought on by those decisions - and the good - meeting my wife; seeing my daughter grow up to be a good, sensible young adult; Grandbaby - it's definitely been 10 years' worth.

As I look at that last paragraph, it occurs to me that most of the bad for me happened between 2000-2005 and most of the good from 2005-2009, which I guess is a reminder of the fleeting nature of pessimism, and as Lennon said in that same tragically ironic interview, “while there’s life, there’s hope”.

Mercantile Melee

2009-11-29T13:14:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally did it. I’ve been avoiding it for years, but this year special circumstances eliminated the usual excuses. I went to an early day-after-Thanksgiving sale. My wife had targeted some Christmas presents she felt were worth pursuing; my daughter had to be at work between 4:30 and 5:00 AM, so I was up; and I had to work at 7:00 so there wasn’t much to be gained by going back to bed. I sighed and remembered a quote from the great philosopher Red Forman of That ‘70s Show: “Being a man means doing a lot of crap you don’t want to do”.

So we were at Wal-Mart shortly before 5:00, along with a significant percentage of the area population. Happily the store doesn’t actually close, so there was no standing around outside waiting for the chance to trample a little old lady (or be trampled by one; some of them can really move, especially under those circumstances). Although there was a certain herd mentality that was a bit unseemly, it was actually quite civilized for such a large number of undoubtedly sleep-deprived people. The aisle traffic was aggressive, but not rude. Only the areas around electronics and the $2 DVDs were really jammed. Wal-mart had employees handing out certain high-demand items (32” flat-screen TVs seemed to be the star attraction; I saw several carts with 2 or 3) rather than just allowing grab-and-tackle, and most of the other sale items were in sufficient supply that fisticuffs were unnecessary. There were some hardcore shoppers (we overheard someone talking about having been at ShopKo and Toys R Us in Rapid City at midnight), and quite a few multi-shopper expeditionary forces communicating by cell-phone while fanning out to various sections of the store, but in general it wasn’t that much worse than other busy days I’ve seen there.

Of the items on my wife’s list, only the microwave oven was a possible problem, and it turned out to be on a side aisle and unmarked, so once we located them procurement was easy. I suspect people thought they had already been snapped up. I had considered checking out the $200 e-machines laptop, but it looked like they were nabbed at the start (later I found out you needed an advance ticket to get one), and even at that price it would have been a budget-buster right now.

We got what we wanted and into a checkout line ahead of most of the rush, and were out the door and home by about 5:45. On the way home we drove past the mall, where most of the stores were opening at 6:00 (although I heard JCPenney’s had opened at 4:00 and I don’t know about Kmart). I imagine many of the people we saw at Wal-mart would go there, but I was done and happy to be so. I compare the experience to my recent root canal; not as bad as I had heard it could be, but something I hope to avoid repeating.

Answering the Call

2009-11-29T13:11:00.000-08:00

I watched most of WWII In HD on the History Channel, and generally enjoyed it, which wasn't a big surprise, as I usually like WWII programs, especially with new material. This one did seem a bit disjointed, as though they either couldn't decide what narrative theme to use or they didn't have enough for just one, so they tried to integrate different themes that had been produced separately. I also noticed that the closed captioning frequently differed from what was said in ways that indicated last-minute editing, which hints at a bit of chaos in the production process, another possible explanation for the slapdash feel. I would like to see a program with that material where they just gave the context of a piece of footage and showed it.

One consistent theme in the program, as with most shows like this, was the ability of people, either individually or as a group, to step up and do things they may have never previously considered. These things may have been extremely unpleasant (the man who found himself almost spontaneously having to kill a German soldier by slitting his throat, and immediately afterward went to a ditch and threw up), or more positive (the reporter who first expressed doubts about the collective fortitude of Americans to handle the rigors of war, then admitted to being wrong), but the overall notion of successfully performing beyond expectations, especially one's own, is usually uplifting; indeed, it's the basis for heroism.

I still recall an example of this that I witnessed which, while not nearly in the same league as combat, is much more typical. I was the student manager for my high school's football team. During a game one of the linemen went down. Happily he just had the wind knocked out of him, but he had to come out. My school was small, but at the time we had the luxury of being able to rotate linemen, so we had a couple of experienced seniors available to fill in. As we were helping the player off the field, I asked the coach who he wanted as a replacement (and I mean The coach, as in the only one, and I was asking him about such things because we were the staff) and he said, "Have Todd get in there." I can't say definitely, but I'm sure my eyebrows went up; Todd was a sophomore who had never been in a game. I ran to the sideline and yelled for Todd, and saw for the first time a graphic demonstration of the phrase "eyes as big as saucers"; I thought he might need a bag in which to breathe. But he collected himself, filled in ably for a few plays, and then came back out when the other lineman had recovered.

I'd like to say that Todd went on to become a star football player, like the man in the recent movie The Blind Side, but it wouldn't be true. On the other hand, he didn't become Al Bundy either. He did eventually become a good high school football player, then - like most of the soldiers in that program did after the war - moved on with life. Todd's experience, however, is the kind most of us are much more likely to face; a sudden, singular, usually momentary development to which we have to react instantly, as opposed to the sweeping change of war. It's the kind of thing we all hope we're up to handling when it comes, as we all know it will. It's the Character Builder, and like many things, a few are good, but we'd prefer not to overindulge.

Waking Up

2009-11-16T13:20:00.000-08:00

Eight minutes. Not too bad. From shutting off the alarm to backing out of the driveway in eight minutes. It reminded me of my days signing on at KEVN, when I regularly got up and out in 15 minutes. Of course today I took a few shortcuts I couldn't then; no shower, shave or breakfast. I didn't even comb my hair. What was the point? It was 4:30 AM, I wasn't going to get out of the car, and I'd be back in bed in half an hour.

What prompted this? Money, of course. More exactly, my daughter's job at the Holiday Inn, getting the breakfast bar ready, which occasionally requires her to be there at 5AM. It also entails a drive from the northeast side of town to the southwest, which at that time of day only takes about 10 minutes, thanks to all but one stoplight being in flashing-yellow mode, and presents an opportunity to see the town at an unusual (for me) time.

There may be cities that never sleep, but Pierre isn't one. Among businesses, only Wal-Mart and Marlin's (a truck stop) are open 24/7 here; even the convenience stores close. Only the hospital has enough vehicles in the lot to approximate daytime traffic. The vacant parking lots around everything else combine with all the lights that are left on in buildings and on lots, (I assume this is done for security, but it seems like too many lights are left on at most places. I think at least half could be shut off without affecting the purpose, saving a considerable amount of money.) to create a weird sense of unneeded space, as though the builders had been overly optimistic about growth prospects, or that the businesses are open in anticipation of commerce that isn't coming.

However, it's also apparent that this is just about the time the town starts to wake up. The drive over was almost devoid of traffic or other signs of life. Coming back just a few minutes later I saw people waiting to get into work at various restaurants, more lights on in homes and many more vehicles on the road; the first stirrings of civilization. As I undressed to get back into bed (only then noticing that I forgot to zip my fly; my quick get-up isn't as precise as it once was), I thought that being up and out at this time of day isn't all bad. But I'm glad that I don't have to do it regularly anymore.

Baby Bumblebee

2009-11-03T13:58:00.000-08:00

As promised......Her Majesty the Drama Queen in full award-winning regalia. I think the black background, which made her black tights disappear, really makes the photo.

What is Your Emergency?

2009-11-01T13:06:00.000-08:00

This poor neglected blog. If it were a houseplant it would have died a long time ago. I just can't seem to find the time and/or material. Even typing this is a struggle due to Grandbaby's insistence on assisting, which is not as helpful as she thinks. She has become quite the drama queen, putting on a show whenever one of her excursions into mischief gets interrupted. She also now officially possesses award-winning cuteness; a picture of her in her Halloween costume entered in a contest at the Wal-Mart portrait studio brought home the hardware. Of course this picture will be posted as soon as I can get it scanned; I have a grandfatherly duty to uphold.

I do have something of an excuse for the last two weeks. I attended (and passed,happily) the 911 telecommunicator certification course. This hadn't been required of us until recently since we're not an actual 911 center, although we do many of the same things. I had fairly low expectations for it since it is intended for people new to the job as opposed to a veteran like me. It had also been 25 years (almost exactly....sigh) since I had been in a classroom setting, and I hadn't missed it. But I must say it turned out to be a good experience. It provided a formal basis for some of the procedures we had developed on our own and some good background information that will be useful. It also allowed me to recharge a bit and shake off creeping burnout.

The best part was the chance to meet people who do what I do, under wildly varying conditions. Some work for fairly large, well-organized operations that offer at least adequate compensation; others are employed by outfits that barely meet the minimum standards for wages that are usually associated with french fries rather than public safety. People tend to think of 911 service as being consistent everywhere, and would be appalled if they knew how many centers have only one person handling not just 911 but all law enforcement dispatch duties (as well as other duties; some also assist with jail operations) for large - if sometimes sparsely populated - areas of the state.

The reason for this, as usual, is money; local jurisdictions don't like to spend any more than absolutely necessary, and complain loudly about any attempt to require better service. Some places closed their 911 centers and contracted the service out rather than upgrade to the latest standards, and a proposal to require two people on duty at all times at a 911 center - if passed - will probably lead to more consolidation.

To a certain degree this is understandable. As the population concentrates more into certain parts of the state, other governments are left with a smaller tax base from which to pay for expensive and sophisticated equipment and the trained people to use it. It's often cheaper and easier to pay someone who already has the facilities to handle it. It may even be advantageous to the public, who get a more consistent level of service.

What is lost is the same thing that is lost when you go to Wal-Mart instead of the small grocery store. The person who answers the call, however conscientious - and I can say that everyone I met at this class has a sense of dedication to public service that I found inspirational; the woman who sat next to me is not only a dispatcher but a volunteer firefighter and EMT - is less likely to have an intimate knowledge of your area and circumstances. This can be upsetting to rural folks used to the Mayberry type of public service. But it is the trade off for the type of emergency service most people have come to expect.

Doing Nothing For Fun

2009-10-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

It was one of those innocuous questions everyone hears or asks in casual conversation all the time, the kind of not-too-deep ice breaker most people can answer without much thought, so of course I stumbled all over it. "Do you have any hobbies?"

I didn't have a ready answer, I think, because I really don't do anything that fits the stereotype of a hobby. I don't collect or make things or participate in any leisure activity or sport with regularity. I don't garden or paint or hunt or fish. In general I don't do anything of which people usually think when the word hobby is mentioned. This humble and neglected blog probably comes closest to a "normal" hobby, which says yet more about me that I probably shouldn't ponder.

It wasn't always so. Growing up I was a huge fan of the space program. I kept a scrapbook of every article I could find on the subject, and built a large model of the Saturn 5 rocket. I also used to draw regularly, usually cars, especially after acquiring a draft pack for a college class. But for quite a few years I haven't done anything like those.

Once again, Merriam-Webster: "hobby - a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation". By that definition I do have hobbies. Perhaps another reason I didn't casually say so is....well…I feel slightly embarrassed when I mention them.

- I watch a great deal of TV.
- I think a lot.

Not exactly mountain climbing and skydiving. I can see "LAZY" run through a person's mind, and it often strains that person's politeness reflexes to not say "that's it?", although I never blame anyone who does. The conversation usually moves on to another topic quickly.

TV has always been scorned as being not so much a hobby as a way to suppress brain activity. But growing up long before the internet in a town too small to have a public library, television was an important information source for me, limited as it was then (no cable), not so much about classic academic subjects (although PBS was good for that), but about the wider world. I eventually made TV my profession for 16 years, and if I had it to do over it would still be. As it is, even with the internet TV is still my old favorite window on the world.

As for thinking, that seems a bit like saying breathing is a hobby. Many people would probably consider daydreaming a more appropriate term for what I do. Here again I cite my upbringing; for all its limitations, it was a great environment for quiet contemplation of whatever came to mind. I always tell people that I don't bore easily; even when I look bored I'm usually fine, just thinking. This does contribute to a vicious circle, in that my antisocial tendencies cause me to drift off, which (along with a tendency to look like I'm not paying attention when I actually am listening) makes me seem more antisocial. Thinking does have the great advantage of being readily doable anytime, anywhere, with no accessories required.

My hobbies are cheap: roughly $87 a month for cable and internet supports them nicely. Compared to what some people spend on their pastimes this is a bargain. They also feed each other: TV gets me thinking, which provides material for the blog, the production of which often leads me off on other tangents, and so on. I suppose I could add internet surfing to the list, but lately I haven't had time to do that for much more than to feed thought and the blog. Besides, compared to the others, which have been lifelong, the internet/blog is a newcomer.

Maybe someday I'll take up something more traditional, but I like what I have now. They meet the definition above, in that I find them relaxing, which is what hobbies are about.

Random TV Thoughts

2009-09-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

Ben-Hur was on the other night. I wonder how many people think that's a true story?

I'm glad CBS moved The Big Bang Theory from opposite Antiques Roadshow to follow Two and Half Men. Each has something that tickles me. Two and a Half Men is crude and rude and starting to age a bit, but it is well-executed, and Jon Cryer's twice-divorced character's comically disastrous life helps me look back and laugh a little at my early-2000's marital train wrecks. As for The Big Bang Theory, I went to college with guys like that.

So far The National Parks on PBS is pretty much vintage Ken Burns, which will delight some and drive others crazy. I have liked most of his past work, and this looks to be of the same caliber.

Fox's Sunday night animation lineup had a so-so start. The Simpsons is aging nicely; not the juggernaut it once was, but still capable of some solid laughs. The Cleveland Show had its moments, but seemed a bit uneven. I wonder if it can hold up without resorting to the same shtick used in Family Guy, which itself did OK by going with its strengths, Stewie and Brian. American Dad was definitely the edgiest of the bunch; a send-up of war reenactments was a decent idea, but going heavy on the PTSD angle dragged it down a bit.

More New Tricks for the Old Dog

2009-09-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

In the space of roughly a week my house has gone from bare-minimum computing power to a small network. My wife and both daughters have each acquired a laptop to accompany the hopelessly outclassed family desktop, requiring me to dust off the LinkSys wireless router and hook it back up to my ancient cable modem, which has just been declared obsolete by the cable company. Another relic from my first marriage gone. I shouldn't have been surprised; none of the other computer equipment I purchased at the same time (early 2000) is still being used. I could buy one from them (their prices don't seem too bad - $65 for a DOCSIS 3.0), but I plan on doing a little shopping first.

I am the designated household computer guru despite my education and experience having mostly occurred in the misty past when "portable" computers weighed 40 lbs. and 1200-baud modems were pretty kick-ass. (Although a few years ago when my second wife took a Visual Basic programming course I was happy to discover that I could still write a little code.) Personally I think that a great deal of what computer savvy I do possess is simply due to a willingness to fiddle with them. Many people who claim they lack the smarts to understand computers and other electronics actually just don't have the nerve to try. Of course it's possible those people may just have the good sense to avoid really messing things up, while people like me are the ones who give IT professionals nightmares.

Not Infinite Variety, but Variety

2009-09-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

I can't honestly say I recall what brought this to mind - when you daydream as much as I do you lose track -but it recently occurred to me that while South Dakota isn't exactly a beacon of diversity, each of the cities in which I've lived as an adult has a distinctly different rhythm.

Rapid City is a summer tourist town. Yes, it has a military base nearby and is a regional hub of year-round commerce, but the pace picks up noticeably during the summer. Hotel rates go up (the sheer number of hotels is a big indicator of the nature of life there), the smaller attractions that close during the off-season dust off the shelves, and the traffic gets silly with people trying to find the road to Mount Rushmore, which thanks to past political shenanigans doesn't connect directly to I-90 and requires people to run a gauntlet of local businesses. The ridiculous growth of the Sturgis motorcycle rally has made August almost impossible to handle, and indeed many Sturgis residents leave during that time, renting their homes out for enough money to make a few house payments.

Vermillion has a much more intense, but completely opposite, seasonal contrast. It is a stereotypical college town; it consists of USD, the necessary support system, and a few miscellaneous businesses. It's a small city during the school year and a small town during the summer. This has advantages; when I moved there the gas company waived their deposit when they found out I wasn't a student, and being a steady customer built a good relationship with the local merchants. However, there is a sense that the town is geared for the students, not the residents, which rankled a bit on occasion and contributes to many people who work at the university not living in Vermillion, adding to the contrast.

Pierre's swings are relatively minor. The annual influx for the legislative session is the only event that shakes things up a bit, but it's only a few weeks. There are seasonal activities that affect certain businesses (fishing, hunting, boating), but the overall pace of life is fairly consistent for most people. There isn't anything that completely changes the character of the whole community, unless you count the annual goose migration, which definitely adds a certain, shall we say, texture, especially to the sidewalks around Capitol Lake.

Overall I have to say that I don't have a preference. Each city has it's ups and downs, but the local rhythm wasn't really a factor for me. If I had to choose, I'd probably go with Vermillion as a small town close to larger ones, but I have no serious qualms about any of them.

Prose Production Au Naturel

2009-09-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

Jon Carroll tells me something of which I could have remained blissfully ignorant for the rest of my life.

I have actually written naked, for the usual reasons - an extremely hot day, an extremely tight deadline - and it's no fun at all. I stuck to the chair, so getting up involved a fair amount of pain. I then tried a beach towel draped over the back of the chair, but the towel stuck to me too, so when I got up I looked like a naked man wearing a terry cloth Superman cape. There may be images that say "seriously crazy" better than that, but not many.

I went into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. "Back away from the knife," my wife said.

You may rest assured that I am always fully clothed when cranking out this humble blog.

He Must Avoid Cable TV News, Too

2009-09-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

Tim Goodman vents a little.

Do you ever have those days when you keep thinking, "What is WRONG with you people?" Of course you do. We all do. Do you ever find yourself in a room and thinking, "Please get me out of here before I kill everyone?" Sure you do. Who hasn't been in that room? Let's face it. We live in a world - and especially a country - where we could spend most of our time going around saying, "Really? No, really?"

How does he control this?

I try to limit my exposure to idiots and other ignorant people as much as possible, figuring that life is short and precious and if I spend my time worrying that people with closed minds will procreate it will only cause me undo stress.

I can only assume by that statement that he doesn't wander the internet regularly. Personally, I try to take a different approach, once explained by a character in the Bloom County comic strip; when you're feeling down, taking a look at all the dweebs around you will make you feel better about yourself. There's nothing like a dose of "it could be worse; I could be that stupid" to cheer me up. Of course, my job puts me in regular contact with enough idiocy (you ran out of gas 2 miles past Sioux Falls?) that I rarely need to go looking for more.