A novice has a go......
"Well God, I've heard a lot of people speak highly of prayer, so I thought I'd give it a try. Of course I need to make a couple of assumptions; (1) You exist and (2) my concept of God is compatible with what You find acceptable. The latter may be the bigger leap of faith, so to speak. After all, whether you exist is basically a 50/50 chance, but given the many views on what is acceptable to You, each saying the others are wrong, the odds of having the correct one seem to be pretty long. But I digress."
"From what I've seen I should start out by laying on a little flattery, which seems a bit silly. You're supposed to be omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. It's pretty tough to come up with anything to compete with that, and based on those characteristics You already know what I'll say anyway. Let's see....... I understand You're responsible for the existence of everything, which is pretty impressive, although I've noticed people tend to downplay all the bad stuff included in that. I think it's reasonable to expect a few problems with that big an undertaking, but people don't seem to like the idea that things didn't turn out exactly as You wanted - I guess it clashes with that omnipotence - so they end up saying things like this is the best possible world, which doesn't speak terribly well of You in my opinion, or that You put us here to make things better, which again isn't very flattering; given the overall record of the human race I would think You could do better. "
"I see I have drifted off again. Staying focused is proving to be a bit of a problem. I don't see how people like the Pope can pray for hours. I believe here is where I am supposed to make my supplication. It seems people have all sorts of requests; world peace, good weather, healing of sickness both individual and group, an end to war.... it goes on and on. Most of it wouldn't seem too difficult for a being with the power they attribute to You. But they always end with an out; "Thy will be done". I guess this covers the possibility that either You don't listen to them or You like things the way they are. It seems odd to always allow for the complete failure of something they claim is so important, but based on their apparent success rate I suppose it makes sense. "
"Anyway, it seems best to keep it simple, so......there seems to be a general claim that everything is a part of some sort of plan You have for the universe in general and us in particular. I hope that I don't get hosed over in this plan, but You're going to do what You want, and based on what I've seen so far I won't be surprised if I do. If You're listening, thanks. Amen. "