I suppose when you write a daily column, as John Carroll does, occasionally you have to use any subject that fills the space.
When you get breakfast at a restaurant, toast is kind of an add-on. "D'ya want toast with that?" "Sure." "What kind?" "Oh, you know, wheat" - you say "wheat" because you're afraid to say "white." Right? Because white bread represents a commitment to sexual repression, the centrist wing of the Republican Party (which is, what, two people now?), bad nutrition, Barry Manilow and making rude remarks about Wayne Thiebaud. Probably you want the white bread, but you'd never admit that to the waitress. She'd report you.