James Lileks notes that the State of Minnesota is broke.
We're facing a "Mega-Deficit," which was previously spotted battling Godzilla in a 1965 movie. Godzilla won, but only by using radioactive flame-breath, and experts say that option is not on the table. Everything else is on the table, though. Including proposals to sell the table and just spread everything out on the floor.
He mentions a few short-term fixes,then makes a proposal.
We need bold, new solutions, like annexing North Dakota. They have natural resources aplenty, and the population density of Antarctica, even if you figure in penguins. Pushover. We have National Guard soldiers who've been to Iraq; I think Fargo would be an easier tour of duty. We would not only be bigger and richer, we would be the weirdest shaped state in the nation, and cement our stature as the state with the greatest number of old guys named Elmer.We will be greeted as liberators! As a native North Dakotan, I am willing to head up the provisional government.
Hmmmm. Why would they stop there? Who wouldn't want Mount Rushmore to put on their official stationery? Better keep an eye on the border.
Perhaps a preemptive merger with North Dakota to form a unified front would be worth contemplating. Most of the country can't keep the two Dakotas straight anyway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment