Doing Nothing For Fun

It was one of those innocuous questions everyone hears or asks in casual conversation all the time, the kind of not-too-deep ice breaker most people can answer without much thought, so of course I stumbled all over it. "Do you have any hobbies?"

I didn't have a ready answer, I think, because I really don't do anything that fits the stereotype of a hobby. I don't collect or make things or participate in any leisure activity or sport with regularity. I don't garden or paint or hunt or fish. In general I don't do anything of which people usually think when the word hobby is mentioned. This humble and neglected blog probably comes closest to a "normal" hobby, which says yet more about me that I probably shouldn't ponder.

It wasn't always so. Growing up I was a huge fan of the space program. I kept a scrapbook of every article I could find on the subject, and built a large model of the Saturn 5 rocket. I also used to draw regularly, usually cars, especially after acquiring a draft pack for a college class. But for quite a few years I haven't done anything like those.

Once again, Merriam-Webster: "hobby - a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation". By that definition I do have hobbies. Perhaps another reason I didn't casually say so is....well…I feel slightly embarrassed when I mention them.

- I watch a great deal of TV.
- I think a lot.

Not exactly mountain climbing and skydiving. I can see "LAZY" run through a person's mind, and it often strains that person's politeness reflexes to not say "that's it?", although I never blame anyone who does. The conversation usually moves on to another topic quickly.

TV has always been scorned as being not so much a hobby as a way to suppress brain activity. But growing up long before the internet in a town too small to have a public library, television was an important information source for me, limited as it was then (no cable), not so much about classic academic subjects (although PBS was good for that), but about the wider world. I eventually made TV my profession for 16 years, and if I had it to do over it would still be. As it is, even with the internet TV is still my old favorite window on the world.

As for thinking, that seems a bit like saying breathing is a hobby. Many people would probably consider daydreaming a more appropriate term for what I do. Here again I cite my upbringing; for all its limitations, it was a great environment for quiet contemplation of whatever came to mind. I always tell people that I don't bore easily; even when I look bored I'm usually fine, just thinking. This does contribute to a vicious circle, in that my antisocial tendencies cause me to drift off, which (along with a tendency to look like I'm not paying attention when I actually am listening) makes me seem more antisocial. Thinking does have the great advantage of being readily doable anytime, anywhere, with no accessories required.

My hobbies are cheap: roughly $87 a month for cable and internet supports them nicely. Compared to what some people spend on their pastimes this is a bargain. They also feed each other: TV gets me thinking, which provides material for the blog, the production of which often leads me off on other tangents, and so on. I suppose I could add internet surfing to the list, but lately I haven't had time to do that for much more than to feed thought and the blog. Besides, compared to the others, which have been lifelong, the internet/blog is a newcomer.

Maybe someday I'll take up something more traditional, but I like what I have now. They meet the definition above, in that I find them relaxing, which is what hobbies are about.

Random TV Thoughts

Ben-Hur was on the other night. I wonder how many people think that's a true story?

I'm glad CBS moved The Big Bang Theory from opposite Antiques Roadshow to follow Two and Half Men. Each has something that tickles me. Two and a Half Men is crude and rude and starting to age a bit, but it is well-executed, and Jon Cryer's twice-divorced character's comically disastrous life helps me look back and laugh a little at my early-2000's marital train wrecks. As for The Big Bang Theory, I went to college with guys like that.

So far The National Parks on PBS is pretty much vintage Ken Burns, which will delight some and drive others crazy. I have liked most of his past work, and this looks to be of the same caliber.

Fox's Sunday night animation lineup had a so-so start. The Simpsons is aging nicely; not the juggernaut it once was, but still capable of some solid laughs. The Cleveland Show had its moments, but seemed a bit uneven. I wonder if it can hold up without resorting to the same shtick used in Family Guy, which itself did OK by going with its strengths, Stewie and Brian. American Dad was definitely the edgiest of the bunch; a send-up of war reenactments was a decent idea, but going heavy on the PTSD angle dragged it down a bit.

More New Tricks for the Old Dog

In the space of roughly a week my house has gone from bare-minimum computing power to a small network. My wife and both daughters have each acquired a laptop to accompany the hopelessly outclassed family desktop, requiring me to dust off the LinkSys wireless router and hook it back up to my ancient cable modem, which has just been declared obsolete by the cable company. Another relic from my first marriage gone. I shouldn't have been surprised; none of the other computer equipment I purchased at the same time (early 2000) is still being used. I could buy one from them (their prices don't seem too bad - $65 for a DOCSIS 3.0), but I plan on doing a little shopping first.

I am the designated household computer guru despite my education and experience having mostly occurred in the misty past when "portable" computers weighed 40 lbs. and 1200-baud modems were pretty kick-ass. (Although a few years ago when my second wife took a Visual Basic programming course I was happy to discover that I could still write a little code.) Personally I think that a great deal of what computer savvy I do possess is simply due to a willingness to fiddle with them. Many people who claim they lack the smarts to understand computers and other electronics actually just don't have the nerve to try. Of course it's possible those people may just have the good sense to avoid really messing things up, while people like me are the ones who give IT professionals nightmares.

Not Infinite Variety, but Variety

I can't honestly say I recall what brought this to mind - when you daydream as much as I do you lose track -but it recently occurred to me that while South Dakota isn't exactly a beacon of diversity, each of the cities in which I've lived as an adult has a distinctly different rhythm.

Rapid City is a summer tourist town. Yes, it has a military base nearby and is a regional hub of year-round commerce, but the pace picks up noticeably during the summer. Hotel rates go up (the sheer number of hotels is a big indicator of the nature of life there), the smaller attractions that close during the off-season dust off the shelves, and the traffic gets silly with people trying to find the road to Mount Rushmore, which thanks to past political shenanigans doesn't connect directly to I-90 and requires people to run a gauntlet of local businesses. The ridiculous growth of the Sturgis motorcycle rally has made August almost impossible to handle, and indeed many Sturgis residents leave during that time, renting their homes out for enough money to make a few house payments.

Vermillion has a much more intense, but completely opposite, seasonal contrast. It is a stereotypical college town; it consists of USD, the necessary support system, and a few miscellaneous businesses. It's a small city during the school year and a small town during the summer. This has advantages; when I moved there the gas company waived their deposit when they found out I wasn't a student, and being a steady customer built a good relationship with the local merchants. However, there is a sense that the town is geared for the students, not the residents, which rankled a bit on occasion and contributes to many people who work at the university not living in Vermillion, adding to the contrast.

Pierre's swings are relatively minor. The annual influx for the legislative session is the only event that shakes things up a bit, but it's only a few weeks. There are seasonal activities that affect certain businesses (fishing, hunting, boating), but the overall pace of life is fairly consistent for most people. There isn't anything that completely changes the character of the whole community, unless you count the annual goose migration, which definitely adds a certain, shall we say, texture, especially to the sidewalks around Capitol Lake.

Overall I have to say that I don't have a preference. Each city has it's ups and downs, but the local rhythm wasn't really a factor for me. If I had to choose, I'd probably go with Vermillion as a small town close to larger ones, but I have no serious qualms about any of them.

Prose Production Au Naturel

Jon Carroll tells me something of which I could have remained blissfully ignorant for the rest of my life.

I have actually written naked, for the usual reasons - an extremely hot day, an extremely tight deadline - and it's no fun at all. I stuck to the chair, so getting up involved a fair amount of pain. I then tried a beach towel draped over the back of the chair, but the towel stuck to me too, so when I got up I looked like a naked man wearing a terry cloth Superman cape. There may be images that say "seriously crazy" better than that, but not many.

I went into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. "Back away from the knife," my wife said.

You may rest assured that I am always fully clothed when cranking out this humble blog.

He Must Avoid Cable TV News, Too

Tim Goodman vents a little.

Do you ever have those days when you keep thinking, "What is WRONG with you people?" Of course you do. We all do. Do you ever find yourself in a room and thinking, "Please get me out of here before I kill everyone?" Sure you do. Who hasn't been in that room? Let's face it. We live in a world - and especially a country - where we could spend most of our time going around saying, "Really? No, really?"

How does he control this?

I try to limit my exposure to idiots and other ignorant people as much as possible, figuring that life is short and precious and if I spend my time worrying that people with closed minds will procreate it will only cause me undo stress.

I can only assume by that statement that he doesn't wander the internet regularly. Personally, I try to take a different approach, once explained by a character in the Bloom County comic strip; when you're feeling down, taking a look at all the dweebs around you will make you feel better about yourself. There's nothing like a dose of "it could be worse; I could be that stupid" to cheer me up. Of course, my job puts me in regular contact with enough idiocy (you ran out of gas 2 miles past Sioux Falls?) that I rarely need to go looking for more.

High Finance in Lower Brule

The headline for this item caught me a bit off-guard.

South Dakota tribe buys New York financial company

It was like reading that the local VFW bought a Las Vegas casino, or hearing that the mailman retired to a home in the Bahamas.

Lower Brule tribal Chairman Michael Jandreau said the purchase will complement the tribe's other businesses and develop an income to improve the standard of living for its 3,600 members, 1,850 of whom live on the Lower Brule reservation in central South Dakota.

It's a big addition to an organization that was already larger than I realized.

The tribe already owns businesses in construction, food manufacturing, farming and ranching, and gaming. "This has the potential to far exceed that," Jandreau said of the tribe's Golden Buffalo Casino at Lower Brule.

Of course, the past few years have also shown that it can go bad in a big way as well.

I'm all for anything that will improve conditions on a reservation, although the checkered past of some tribe's finances invites concern. There's also an interesting benefit for the company.

Westrock Group Chief Executive Donald Hunter said the company's American Indian-owned status makes it largely tax-free.

Destination Known

In his latest column in Road and Track, Peter Egan laments the time constraints that forced him to pass by various attractions during a road trip/comparison test, and ponders the idea of going back when he has more time. This revived a thought process in which I engage once in a while: pondering road trips my wife and I would like to take.

The trips I usually consider are the ones we're most likely to take. Naturally these are fairly local, usually doable in a week or less. The reason for the destination can be pretty random, although we like to use a nearby, previously unvisited casino as an initial excuse. From there it's a matter of finding out what else there is to see, although in the case of one casino on our list, on I-29 at the North Dakota/South Dakota border, the very existence of such a huge operation in the middle of nowhere is a novelty. One that has recently come to mind is an area north of Sioux Falls, with the Royal River casino in Flandreau and the grave of an old friend in nearby Pipestone, Minnesota. (This one may be at the top of the list; I still think of him with some regularity.) I think we'd combine the previously mentioned casino in the middle of nowhere with a trip to Montevideo, Minnesota to see a former colleague who now runs a café there.

Then there are the trips that may never actually happen, but could, given favorable circumstances. One that I enjoy considering actually involves Mr. Egan: a drive past his Wisconsin farm southeast of Madison, just because I have read so much about this area in his columns and articles over the years. (No, I wouldn't stop in, unless he happens to be outside when we drive by; then I might say hello). My wife would like to go to Las Vegas again; she loves the place and an old friend lives there. I have never been there, so we'll probably do our best to make this one happen someday.

The trips about which I give the least thought are the pure fantasy drives that could be taken with unlimited time and resources. The possibilities are just too numerous, and the unlikelihood of being able to do one makes it hard to consider.

A Lot From a Little

Finally a chance to peruse a few websites, and just in time: James Lileks spent some time here in South Dakota, hitting the standard stops. First up, the Corn Palace.

Mitchell has done a tremendous job of marketing itself, thanks entirely to the maize-smothered structure at the end of downtown.

The boosterism was strong, as you can expect, and stirring as well: for every twenty towns that never grew beyond a half-dozen streets and a post office, there’s a Mitchell, a town that grew big enough to think it could be much, much more.

Really, it is amazing that Mitchell is what it is - a regional shopping destination and a vibrant city - considering it's only about 60 miles from Sioux Falls. That boosterism has been wildly effective over the years at using a single mid-level (at best) attraction to create a community that really has no business being that successful.

Then, after stops in Murdo and the 1880 Town, Wall Drug.

We headed right for the 5 cent coffee and the ice water. Better coffee from an urn I’ve never had; colder, crisper, cleaner water can’t be found. I had three cups of coffee and tipped the box a dime. (It’s on the honor system.) We wandered through the gift shops - well, no, let me rephrase that. We wandered through Wall Drug, which is a gift shop. The quantity of kitsch is astonishing, and if the entire complex was buried by a layer of volcanic ash, archaeologists of the future would conclude we were a civilization based around the worship of wolves and lanky men in hats.

But after taking the usual tour, he came to realize something.

At that point I looked around at the walls, smothered from street to back with pictures and testimonials, thought of the laminated clips that lined the hallways, the old scarred statues, the signs that were old when I was young, and I thought, well. Nine, maybe ten years, a fellow could get to the bottom of all the secrets here.

Again, more than there should be.

Suction, Football, and Sean vs. John

Ah, the things that pop into my head while lying on the couch brandishing the
TV remote control with Grandbaby sleeping on my shoulder (don't worry,
I'm an experienced broadcast equipment operator; I haven't injured anyone
in years).

- She generates considerable suction on her bottle while sleeping. She
drinks it dry, then creates a vacuum inside that causes a loud hiss
through the nipple when she finally lets go. When my daughter was a
baby we used disposable bottle liners; this kid would collapse one of
those into a tiny ball in the tip. Happily it doesn't seem to give her any
tummy trouble, so she must not swallow the air. In case you're wondering,
she has judged a pacifier to be unacceptable as a substitute for an empty
bottle.

- While the two sports that use the name football - oops, two of the three;
mustn't forget Australian rules football, which can be a hoot to watch
when I can find it on TV here - are about as different as possible,
I've noticed a few similarities. (1) At any given time, most of the players
aren't involved in the primary action. NFL football is especially big on this;
all the shifting and motion for a handoff up the middle can be hilarious.
(2) Certain penalties seem designed to be killjoys, inhibiting exciting
moments. The offside rule in soccer and the many variations on holding
in football are the big culprits. (3) A lot of down time, although in football
it's designed into the game while in soccer it's more a matter of players
kicking the ball back and forth either waiting for a chance to try something
or take a breather.

- Craig Ferguson's stand-up bit about his fellow Scot Sean Connery brought
John Wayne to mind. Ferguson noted that Connery essentially plays himself
no matter the character; Wayne did that for years. Each has/had a natural
presence, although Wayne never had Connery's sex symbol image. Both
also attempted to resemble Asians with unfortunate results; I'd give
Wayne's Genghis Khan in The Conqueror the advantage over Connery's
disguise in You Only Live Twice, because Wayne had better makeup and
enjoyed the advantage of having other less-than-convincing actors with
him, whereas Connery was working almost entirely with actual Asian actors
during his scenes, which made him look even sillier.

Enticing Anthony

I see that Anthony Bourdain's next show was done nearby, in Montana. For
those of you who don't know, Bourdain is the host of a program called
No Reservations on the Travel Channel (new shows are on Mondays at
10:00 Eastern, with reruns at various times). He is a former chef who
travels the world in search of local food and whatever else he can find.
My wife and I are regular watchers,and we occasionally try to think of
what he might find interesting in South Dakota.

Of course Mt. Rushmore comes to mind, but he tends to skip the big-name
attractions. He intentionally skipped the Pyramids when he was in Egypt, so I
can imagine him not taking in the four faces. Deadwood could appeal to him,
especially if he came during the Sturgis bike rally. My wife suggested a reservation
pow-wow, which would offer some unusual food and a glimpse into a culture many
Americans who don't live nearby don't think exists anymore, and the annual Custer
State Park buffalo roundup. Then there's Wall Drug for the what's-this-doing-here
angle. Hmmm...that would probably be enough, and we're barely out of the Black Hills.

Moving east, I suppose the Corn Palace could offer a relic-from-the-past attraction.
The vinegar museum in Roslyn has an odd food angle. He enjoys drinking, so he
could stop at whatever small-town festival is going on at the time. As for which
restaurants he should try, I would have to consult others with more knowledge.
But I think the state could show him a good time.

Stacking 'em Deep, Selling 'em Cheap

Once again, the mind wanders on the overnight shift......

The AP reported that Tito Jackson announced he'll pay tribute to his brother during a series of concerts in England. I know nothing about Tito or his act, but I can't help but think that the fact that he is even able to put on several shows in England is itself a tribute to Michael's reflected star power.

As the health care reform "debate" slops about like mud wrestling, my own health insurance naturally comes to mind. As I understand it, the State of South Dakota actually insures itself and hires DakotaCare to process the paperwork; a public/private combo. I wonder if such an arrangement could be modified to include everyone and still be made acceptable to enough people to get it implemented. Another personal angle is the fact that my daughter will soon be kicked off my insurance for the crime of turning 19 and not being a full-time student. We are exploring some options, but universal insurance would simplify life considerably.

I see the cash-for-clunkers program is being closed down amid claims of success, but I think a bit of restraint is in order. The largest total sales number associated with it that I saw was 472,000, so it may make half a million by the end. New car sales for this year were being projected at roughly 10 million, compared to 13 million in 2008 and 16 million in 2007, so while the program provided a nice bump, it was essentially a gigantic government-sponsored clearance sale, not an industry saver. It's also hard to say how many of those sales would have happened without the program or how many were pulled forward to the detriment of next year. In addition, I saw that of the top selling cars in the program, only one - the Ford Focus – is made by a U.S.-based manufacturer. I haven’t seen any reports of what is being traded in, but it’s reasonable to assume that it’s a lot of domestic-brand SUVs and big old gas-guzzlers, which means the domestics lost more ground in terms of people owning their products and therefore caring about them. This can only hurt their still-precarious position. I do applaud the exchange of gas hogs for more fuel-efficient vehicles, and not just from an environmental and economic point of view. As someone who has been driving small cars for some time, I can appreciate having fewer large vehicles clogging up roads and blocking views. But overall I think it's best to think of the program as a day's rain during a long drought; momentary relief, but nothing more.

At Least It's a Prime Number

Another birthday passes by. 47......not a milestone age; basically it's one of those "a few years until..." points in life. On the other hand, it’s also part of that pleasant time in life when the pop-culture marketers have given up on you and the AARP doesn't have you on the mailing list yet. Only the “do not go gentle” weight-loss and plastic surgery people have you in their sights. Weight moderation for health is fine, but the "look younger!" angle sold by cosmetic surgeons (and the cosmetics industry in general) is a bit silly. Some people do get positive results, looking good for their age, but most that try to look younger just end up looking like they're trying to look younger.

I celebrated in grand style by going for a check-up required to get a doctor's signature on an entertaining form that was part of an application to take a work-required class, certifying that I'm "free of physical and mental defects that would prevent or restrict the performance of duties" that I've been doing for 7 years. The doctor and I shared a chuckle over the form, she checked a few vital signs, asked a few questions and signed it. She also burned off a few suspect moles with liquid nitrogen on the “it’s easy to do, so why not” theory of preventative medicine.

Later my wife and I went to one of the fancier restaurants in town. I had never been there and hadn’t planned to ever go, since I had heard the menu is pasta-oriented (we eat enough pasta at home) and pricey, but we had gift cards to provide motivation and lessen the sting. Since this was going to be a rare event we decided to be adventurous with a breaded and deep-fried calamari (squid) appetizer, which was fairly tasty. Both of us had non-pasta dishes, she the salmon and I a veal chop which, like the squid, was something I hadn’t had before. It was roughly 3 times the size I anticipated, and also quite delicious. The most interesting item was the goat cheese (another personal first) which was served as part of each meal. It went very well with the potatoes. We finished off with a fine piece of rum cake. Everything was very good but I don’t imagine we’ll return anytime soon without financial aid; at $70 for the two of us it was just too expensive to make a habit, although they do have cheaper items on the menu. I know in many sophisticated places that’s a good price, but I’m just a tight-fisted rube at heart.

Two Unrelated Questions

As still more Michael Jackson-inspired drivel sullied the TV screen a few days ago, a co-worker asked what I thought made him so successful. I must say that I struggled for a coherent answer at the time, and the question had been rattling around in my head since. I finally realized that for all the complex angles one can take in analyzing that (racial, demographic, musical), the basic answer is that he was a good song-and-dance man, and they have always been successful.

Of course all those angles did come into it - he was still young enough and cute enough to attract young fans as well as bring back his old ones; the country was finally ready for a black superstar; the musical scene at the time (late 70s-early 80s) was due for a comeback of that type of performer. But under it all is the fact that he was a good entertainer; people liked his show.

During a later conversation a daughter of that same co-worker asked a more offbeat question: Why don't men use romance novels as a source for some type of clue to wooing women, since they seem to provide what many women like? Again, I didn't have a ready answer, but a few thoughts came to mind.

First, doing that would require reading such literature, much of which is simply bad. I'm sure there are well-written romance novels out there, but the process of locating them would be too much effort for most men, especially young men, whom I believe were the target of this. Even among the good ones, finding something appropriate and applicable could be difficult. Those books tend to be period pieces, and translating that into a modern relationship might be problematic.

I suppose the above problem could be mitigated by finding out which books she has read and limiting the research to those, but then there's the matter of whether she would really want that. Those are fantasies, after all, and fantasies rarely transform into reality well, especially when the man attempting it lacks the abilities and resources of a fictional character. It's also possible that she just likes reading that type of fiction and has no interest in actually trying to live it. No man wants to find that out the hard way.

Finally, there's the pathological aversion to reading instructions. If a man won't glance through four pages of a chair assembly pamphlet, how could he be expected to read an entire book about something he thinks he can just figure out on his own?

Bubbles and Dancing

Recently I did something I hadn't done in over twenty years. Hmmm... over twenty years. I seem to make increasing use of that time frame. The list of activities or events from a score or more years past to which I find myself referring has grown quite a bit lately. Looking back I realize that a good many of those activities were things (1) I shouldn't have done in the first place,(2) not worth doing again, and/or (3) not repeatable even if I so desired. On the other hand, it's better than not having anything memorable on which to reflect. What? I wandered off-topic again? So I did. Perhaps that's connected to the increased twenty-year flashbacks somehow. Probably best to not think about it.

What I did was set foot in a Catholic church, for the same reason I did back then; a wedding. The building has a floorplan that leaves no doubt that it has been expanded at various times and within limited real estate boundaries, resulting in small staircases and ramps to connect the additions and a sanctuary with pews set at many angles to the altar, which does seem to maximize seating capacity but feels like it was set up solely with that goal in mind, neglecting aesthetics and ergonomics.

The service was pretty much what I remembered. It had calisthenics (sit, stand, kneel, repeat multiple times; I passed on the kneeling due to bad knees) and, for Catholics, communion; others could go up and receive a blessing (I passed on that too). It did seem less stiff and formal than the previous service, which is fine by me. This one was also over in about an hour, whereas I recall the past one taking forever, mostly because the preacher loved the sound of his own voice and seemed to think he should use his sermon to instruct the couple on every conceivable aspect of marriage. This one also had something I hadn't seen before; we were given small tubes of soap with utensils for blowing bubbles as the couple left the church. From rice to bird seed to bubbles; soon we'll be given small bottles of seltzer to generate congratulatory burps.

The reception meal featured roast beef and chicken breasts, the latter better than the former, although that may have been mostly due to the inability of the plastic cutlery to handle the beef. In addition to the punch they also gave each person two tickets good for any beverage at the bar. An unattended cup with a tiny bit of residue of one of those beverages led to an unsurprising but amusing discovery; Grandbaby, unlike her Grandpa but like most people, doesn't like the taste of Guinness. She also wasn't happy with a 3yo boy - the son of a friend of her Mom - who took a liking to me and sat on my lap. She didn't actually squawk, but she gave him the Evil Eye.

She did like the music, however; she held onto various people's hands and shook her diaper energetically, at least after a short nap that once again made me envious of her ability to sleep under almost any conditions. My daughter also hit the dance floor hard once she got the nerve, aided by a lady who cajoled both her and an equally reticent young man into action. I limited myself to some slow dancing with the wife and trying to keep up with Grandbaby, which was more than enough to do me in. We just received an invitation to another wedding with the reception at the same facility. I don't know if I'll be able to go, but if it's anything like this one I'll definitely have to be well-rested if I do. All in all, a pretty good time.

This Prayer Thing

A novice has a go......

"Well God, I've heard a lot of people speak highly of prayer, so I thought I'd give it a try. Of course I need to make a couple of assumptions; (1) You exist and (2) my concept of God is compatible with what You find acceptable. The latter may be the bigger leap of faith, so to speak. After all, whether you exist is basically a 50/50 chance, but given the many views on what is acceptable to You, each saying the others are wrong, the odds of having the correct one seem to be pretty long. But I digress."

"From what I've seen I should start out by laying on a little flattery, which seems a bit silly. You're supposed to be omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. It's pretty tough to come up with anything to compete with that, and based on those characteristics You already know what I'll say anyway. Let's see....... I understand You're responsible for the existence of everything, which is pretty impressive, although I've noticed people tend to downplay all the bad stuff included in that. I think it's reasonable to expect a few problems with that big an undertaking, but people don't seem to like the idea that things didn't turn out exactly as You wanted - I guess it clashes with that omnipotence - so they end up saying things like this is the best possible world, which doesn't speak terribly well of You in my opinion, or that You put us here to make things better, which again isn't very flattering; given the overall record of the human race I would think You could do better. "

"I see I have drifted off again. Staying focused is proving to be a bit of a problem. I don't see how people like the Pope can pray for hours. I believe here is where I am supposed to make my supplication. It seems people have all sorts of requests; world peace, good weather, healing of sickness both individual and group, an end to war.... it goes on and on. Most of it wouldn't seem too difficult for a being with the power they attribute to You. But they always end with an out; "Thy will be done". I guess this covers the possibility that either You don't listen to them or You like things the way they are. It seems odd to always allow for the complete failure of something they claim is so important, but based on their apparent success rate I suppose it makes sense. "

"Anyway, it seems best to keep it simple, so......there seems to be a general claim that everything is a part of some sort of plan You have for the universe in general and us in particular. I hope that I don't get hosed over in this plan, but You're going to do what You want, and based on what I've seen so far I won't be surprised if I do. If You're listening, thanks. Amen. "

Just a Bit More Room

As I type this preparations are being made to mark the passing of 52 weeks since Grandbaby made her first appearance outside of her mother's womb, to generally good reviews. Yes, she's hit the Big 1.0. Picnic supplies are being procured along with the usual birthday goodies, and presents are being contemplated, ignoring my suggestion that she would be quite happy with either the wrapping paper itself or anything chewable. I'm sure she'll pull in a good haul, although I'm slightly concerned that her well-known predilection for dancing will result in her receiving a lot of music-producing objects that will end up in my living room, since there isn't any other place for them at the moment.

This space shortage comes to mind whenever I watch one of those house-shopping shows on HGTV where people with resources that suggest either illicit income or a lender who missed the memo on sub-prime mortgages look at properties with hallucinogenic price tags. These people usually start off with reasonable goals (more space for kids, a shorter commute) then end up with silly justifications for their decision ("We really don't need a pool since no one can swim, but the kitchen appliances are so pretty we can't resist!").

When I think about what I would want to improve in my current house, actual living space doesn't emerge as a high priority. Although either a larger third bedroom or a fourth one would be nice right now, with some organization we could fit everyone and their daily needs into what we have. Our kitchen is a nice size with adequate cupboard space. The bathrooms are fine, and two of the bedrooms are nicely sized, although if I had to do it over I would replace the garden tub in the master bedroom with a walk-in closet. Overall the space is sufficient, if not abundant.

Our problem is stuff. My poor wooden garden shed bulges at the seams, and items are shoved into any available nook instead of being displayed as intended.What I could really use is an addition with a lot of wall space for shelves and hanging up pictures, and walk-in closets for storage; basically an overflow area. That would free up my house for actual living.

Fill-in Fatherhood

So far the preliminary investigation into the Steve McNair shooting seems to point toward a crime of passion or something like it,once again showing that while political and religious ideologies may motivate the large-scale human tragedies, sex continues to inflict similar damage a few lives at a time. I'm glad that my romantic misadventures were relatively uneventful; no criminal acts resulted, and the civil litigation, while vexing and distasteful, was a teardrop in a rainstorm compared to many divorces.

Among the people who have been interviewed about McNair is Jim Fassel, who worked in various capacities for the Baltimore Ravens when McNair was there. A few years ago when Fassel was quarterbacks coach for the Ravens, he likened it to his previous job as head coach of the New York Giants as the difference between being a grandfather and being a father. That comparison has been on my mind lately as Grandbaby and her Mom continue to cohabit with us.

To my thinking, a father bears ultimate responsibility; he is accountable for the health and well-being of the children he brought into the world. This means constantly making decisions, often impromptu and unpleasant ones, then dealing with whatever consequences arise. It also means maintaining a certain disciplinary persona. Being a Dad has made me a better person, and my daughter has been just about as good a kid as I could have desired, but fatherhood has been a source of huge anxiety and tension. Seeing my daughter grow up to be a fine young lady hasn't just been a matter of fatherly pride; it's also brought a gigantic feeling of relief. The hardest part of the divorce from her mother was the uncertainty of raising her in such a situation (I got custody).

Grandfather,on the other hand, is a pretty sweet gig. Gramps has already been through it, made his mistakes, and (hopefully) learned from them, so he's not as easily rattled as the parents. He also doesn't have the 24-hour responsibility of running the household, so he can be more indulgent, as well as provide a broader perspective that parents,especially young parents, can lose in the day-to-day stresses. There is also the practical perk of being only an emergency provider of child maintenance such as diaper-related activities.

Those of you who have suffered through my previous posts know that I live by the shore of Lake Estrogen; females abound in my household. Add to this the departure of Grandbaby's father from the vicinity and I find myself having to uphold the masculine end of things,which means some fatherly duties as well as being Grandpa. This isn't a big deal, but it brings back some of the old anxieties. But my current wife has been fantastic with and for my daughter, and I plan to continue to do whatever I can to help out her daughter and Grandbaby (I'm babysitting as I post this), even if it means recalling some old skills that I had hoped not to have to use again.

Midnight Rambling

Just a few thoughts that occurred while working the night shift and admiring my driver's tan, which means my left arm is slightly darker than my right and which nicely accentuates the gray hairs growing from the birthmark on my left forearm, a blemish which has elicited comment from many a medical professional but which has been unchanged in size and shape my entire adult life.

- First of all, that first sentence clearly demonstrates that I need to buy that laptop and get back on the internet more frequently.

- It didn't take long for the rumors about Michael Jackson's death to start. Naturally the idea that he faked it to get away from financial and other pressures popped up quickly. It may be interesting to see what if anything his estate will contain; from what I read he had borrowed against about everything he owned. I'm reminded of the line in Citizen Kane about the guy who was supposedly wealthy but left nothing but debts when he shot himself.

- North Korea's behavior is somewhat mystifying, even for such an unhinged bunch.. I can understand that they want to be treated like an important country, but it's hard to believe that no one has said, "Look, if we start shooting missiles at U.S. territory they may inclined
to shoot one back, and theirs can end our ability to support life much less be a military power." I would hope China would want to nip this in the bud; it's bad for business. They should also consider the possibility that North Korea might try to similarly blackmail them someday.

The media's coverage is also odd. They sound like North Korea could go toe to toe with the U.S. in a confrontation. You don't hear about it much since the end of the Cold War, so people seem to have forgotten that each of our submarines alone carries enough firepower to hit every military installation they have,and you can bet that the Pentagon has had the spy satellites plotting targets for a long time. Yes, North Korea has a large army, but that would just be a large target for the Pacific Fleet.Certainly such a scenario should be avoided if at all possible, and South Korea wouldn't fare well to say the least, but this is the type of thing for which a large part of our military was designed. North Korea would be lucky to emerge like Iraq after the first Gulf War; barely struggling along as a nation.

The "Ick" factor

A friend of mine recently told me of a conversation she had with relatives regarding homosexuality. More specifically, her trouble reconciling her desire to be what she considers a good Christian (she is a life-long Catholic) and be tolerant of all types of people with her dislike of even the idea of gay sex. She's aware of the evidence that it may be genetic or at least a natural condition, but she just can't get past her distaste for the sexual part. Her relatives called her a homophobe, and she wondered if they might be right.

At this point I should say that this discussion was pretty much theoretical to her, as she has led what she called a sheltered life; to her knowledge she doesn't know any gay people and has only ever met very few in her life. She has lived most of her life here in South Dakota, where there aren't that many people to start with, and diversity of any sort is pretty limited. Combine that with a fairly high level of religious participation and you don't have the ingredients for a thriving gay community. I'm also not certain why she mentioned this to me. She's aware of my general skepticism and libertarianism; perhaps she wanted input from someone with those inclinations.

I told her that I had happened upon this topic a few years ago in an internet chat room where a couple of people were decrying lack of acceptance of gays while professing devotion to a Bible-literalist religion. I was met with disbelief when I pointed out to them that the Bible they hold to be literally true and inerrant specifically disagrees with them about this. I said to them then and to her now that this is something with which any fundamentalist believer has to deal. I then suggested that if it's just the sex that bothers her so much (she's also been a bit sheltered in that regard), she should try to look at it as she would any other sexual behavior between consenting adults that may not be to her taste; as long as it doesn't involve her, there's no need to care.

Later I thought about this a bit more and wondered how many people feel that way. How much anti-gay feeling is just an "ick" factor with gay sex? Would a celibate gay couple be perfectly fine? I may have to revisit this topic with her.

Not surprisingly, given the way my mind works, silliness also popped into this. At some point during their conversation one of her relatives mentioned that the Bible "was written by men". It occurred to me that,as I recall, male homosexual acts are called an abomination, but female homosexuality isn't mentioned. Perhaps the mentality that accounts for the popularity among men of various types of girl-on-girl action has deeper roots than I thought.