Thursday, November 6, 2008


Alexa Chung had her wisdom teeth surgically removed.

I was informed by a kind anaesthetist that if I imagined I was on a sunny beach somewhere as I fell asleep, there was a 30 per cent chance I would think I had been away on holiday when I came round, albeit without the tan. Mathematics not being my strong suit, I am unfortunately unable to calculate the relative probability of coming round and presuming my head had been crushed between two buses....

Some doofus asked me if I was in pain. My thumbs responded with a resounding yes, and before I knew it, syringefuls of morphine were racing into my veins. Nice, you may think. Well... morphine does two things, as far as I can make out. Firstly, it makes you itch, and secondly, it makes you cry. I don't particularly want to find myself in a situation again where I'm doing both furiously and simultaneously.

Having mine pulled some years ago was considerably less eventful. No surgery was needed. It took roughly 5 minutes at the dentist's office once the Novocaine kicked in. The biggest inconvenience was nearly swallowing one when it popped loose from the forceps.

1 comment:

Dale said...

I had my wisdom teeth removed when i was 18, the summer before I left for college. The dentist gave me a choice, and I opted for the "stay awake" approach, and I was so glad I did. It was fascinating! I recall the amazement at the level of force he had to use to wrench those teeth out of my jaw, and I'll never forget the sound of it all --- the sound of flesh and bone being pulled apart. And yet I didn't feel a thing other than some impressions akin to pressure. No pain. And even in the days after, long after the local anesthetic wore off, I didn't have any serious pain.

It was a truly cool experience. I am glad I opted to watch and listen.