Thursday, July 10, 2008

What Women Should Know

Bud Bryan at Auto Extremist made a of list 10 things women should know about men. Some are fine, others may partially explain his past "eventful" relationships.

1. We reserve the right to say that one of your friends is smokin' hot, in a healthy and complimentary tone of course. And it's just an observation, not a call to action. Usually.

2. It's true, we never do grow up (okay, so maybe this isn't much of a revelation). We liked to play with toys when we were young and we never grew out of it. The toys are just bigger and more expensive now. And besides, if your ring is big and sparkly enough, what do you care?.

3. At some point in our adult life we realize that we have absolutely nothing in common with you whatsoever, and that you basically just tolerate us. So we just go out and buy more toys and keep out of your way.

4. We actually do live lives of quiet desperation. We just don't like to admit how all-consuming our thinking about it really is, and we sure as hell don't want to talk about it.

5. We get the fact that we aren't supposed to say "yes" when you ask us if that outfit you're tryin' on makes your butt look big. But what if it really does? Wouldn't that be like a public service?

6. We actually like that you run the show even though we don't like to admit it. Just throw us a frickin' bone once in a while so we don't feel like a guest in our own kingdoms.

7. Yes, we do think about sex - a lot. But you have us so damn scared to bring it up out of fear of hearing "Is that all you think about?!" that we just bring it up about every fifth time.

8. Know your guy well enough to know when to say when - when it comes to pushing his buttons - or suffer the consequences.

9. We're so sick of Oprah that we can't stand it. There, we said it.

10. Yes, of course we love you. Can we have sex now?

No comments: